I am… a pastor by Eric Starkey

Did you all hear the resounding "YESSSSSSSSS!!!!" coming from the desert side of Washington state?  That was me after I read Eric Starkey's blog post.  Eric, by the way,  happens to be a pastor.   I previously posted his experience of spiritual abuse here.  Sadly, we spend a lot of time here discussing pastors in a negative light.  Eric's article, reflects his thoughts on the title of "pastor".   You may be find his thoughts to be quite different than what some of us have experienced.  

But first, let's take a look and see what God's word says about the qualifications of an overseer:

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.  

(1 Timothy 3:1-7 ESV)  

With the above scripture in mind, and certainly after reading Eric's post, I think I could sit comfortably in Eric's church, worshipping and growing to my full potential spiritually.  I hope Eric's words will help you to see the stark contrast between some of the pastoring styles/abuses we have recently discussed and what a healthy pastor looks can look like.  Eric's words are refreshing and give me hope that there are pastors who have a heart for their church family.  

I would like to encourage my readers to read the blog post on Eric's blog here.   It really does "look" better there, but in case you are one who doesn't like chasing links, the entire post is here for your convenience (thank you, Eric, for granting permission).  Either way, please do read it.  I would also highly recommend adding Eric's blog,  A Different Perspective, to your reader.  You will not be disappointed. ~ja

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I am… a pastor     by Eric Starkey

Since making the decision to surrender into the ministry in 1995 at the naive age of 18, I have never struggled with being “called.” I have always considered it an honor that God would call me to minister to others. On my worst days in the ministry and through my worst experiences, I have always been thankful and humbled that God would use me.

But… in the past few years, I have struggled with describing myself as “a pastor.” I know this may sound odd, but it is the truth. I am friends with many pastors and I am fond of them, -even though I am sure I rub many pastors wrong because of my blunt honesty on “taboo” issues in the church. I also like being around pastors; I like praying with them, ministering along side them and encouraging them. Never the less even though I like and respect most pastors that I know, I often feel like an alien when I am in a room full of them. -Not intimidated, not “better than” or “not good enough,” just “different.”

To make things even more complicated as I struggled with calling myself “a pastor,” I have realized that I am indeed equipped to be a pastor. I love being around people, I am gifted at teaching and preaching, I am very comfortable counseling others, I love God and His Word and I sincerely love and care for people in general. I am very passionate about God and His Kingdom and I love to discuss those subjects. I could ramble more, but you get the picture; I am a shepherd. Whether I like it or not, God threw the pastor template in my DNA when He created me. -But still, I struggled calling myself “a pastor.” Why is that??? Well, as I got honest with myself I decided to write down the aspects of being a pastor that I struggled with.

I struggled with calling myself a pastor because:

-We have confused guys who can draw a crowd with true shepherds.

-I am not a therapist.

-I am not a fundraiser.

-I am not a politician.

-I have no desire to accumulate as many people as possible in my congregation, just so I can be labeled “successful” for having butts in the seats.

-I am not a motivational speaker.

-I feel many churches have become far to institutional and sterile. We need to be much more relational. BTW, that actually means we get to know each other…

-It deeply disturbs me when people in my congregation are not spiritually growing and I refuse to stick my head in the sand and ignore it.

-I believe discipleship requires more than attending Sunday School or implementing the latest program.

-I actually believe that Jesus was God and He actually knew what He was talking about, so we should practically follow His teachings. (not just discuss them)

-I do not have a long list of letters behind my name and I have no interest in acquiring them. *I have not been convinced that I need them to effectively minister to others and I am concerned about how “those letters” have affected some of my friends in the ministry.

-I am no push-over; I love people dearly, but I refuse to let people take advantage of my family and my self, -or God’s people.

-I refuse to neglect my wife and children.

-I preach and teach the Word of God, apart from my own bias or that of any denomination or group. My best sermons step on my own toes.

-I am sick of following stupid rules that have absolutely no biblical justification and doing “religious” activities just because we have been doing those things for the past few hundred years. This is why most unchurched people do not understand us. -Frankly, sometimes we just look stupid to them.

-I am even more sick of good people getting hurt and abused in our churches.

-I am not afraid to ask the question, “Why?”

-I have decided to be transparent and share from my personal experiences. ( I know, I know… I am supposed to act like I have no skeletons in my closest, like I have everything figured out and like I have never struggled with anything or made any mistakes. My problem with that “act” is, it is just that, an “act.” Pastors are just like any other Christian; we struggle, we doubt, we have things in our past that we are not proud of, we make mistakes and we need the grace and power of God just as much as anyone else. I have decided that I would rather share what I have learned from my experiences rather than attempt to cover them up and act “plastic.”)

-I hate the word, “committee.” -Enough said.

-I am disgusted with pastors and other church leaders whose motives are wrong.

-I have a life “outside” of the four walls of the church and I believe that God wants me to have it.

-I have become absolutely feed-up (excuse the redneck language) with the American church establishment.

-I grew tired of competing with the church down the street. -I actually met that pastor, liked him and did not want to compete with him anymore.

-I became exhausted while playing the “religious game” we often call church.

-I had wholeheartedly served God and His people and got hurt in the process.

-Worse than that, I may have hurt others.

-I realized that God did not call me to build my kingdom, but His Kingdom.

-I choose “substance” over “entertainment.”

-I am not churchy; I am not fluent in “christianeese,” the official language in most American churches.

-I do not believe Jesus would be a Republican -or a Democrat. -Or a libertarian, for you Ron Paul folks out there.

-I am so tired of hypocracy; especially my own when God reveals it to me.

-I am tired of giving my money and asking others to give theirs to build more buildings and to pay salaries to do the ministry that all of God’s people should be doing.

-I realized that my own church and many others were doing a poor job of reaching and discipling unchurched people.

-I believe that having a real, authentic relationship with God through His son Jesus is the answer, -not the latest church program, book, worship event or even my own preaching. -My job is to help people connect with Jesus; not make them into what I want them to be.

-I am not naive enough to think I can just go start my own church without making the same mistakes everyone else is making.

Because of all the above, I became burnt out and jaded towards vocational ministry. I guess my solution was to say that I was called to the ministry, but not to be “a pastor.” Sure it sounds a little silly now, but at the time it made perfect sense; it was completely logical. However after almost two years of living life outside of my purpose, I am faced with the stark reality that I am… a pastor. I am not quite sure what to do with that. I guess in a way I find myself wondering around in the wilderness knowing that I need to press on towards “something,” but REFUSING to go back to Egypt.

So… here I am attempting to discern my next steps. I am not to sure where I will end up, but wherever that is I know: I am… a pastor.