tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48611983330464791772024-02-19T15:47:51.912-08:00BGBC SurvivorsComments here are closed, however you may comment on these posts at my new blog at Spiritual Sounding Board (www.spiritualsoundingboard.com) Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.comBlogger252125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-77854818173414513752013-01-01T11:51:00.002-08:002013-08-01T20:48:02.162-07:00Bye-Bye BGBC Survivors Blog, Hello Spiritual Sounding Board<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm closing the doors of BGBC Survivors blog here and have moved on to new digs. I've been wanting to ditch Blogger and this name for quite some time. Please stop by, change your bookmarks, RSS feeds, etc. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Julie Anne's new blogging home is here:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.spiritualsoundingboard.com/">Spiritual Sounding Board</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.spiritualsoundingboard.com/">www.spiritualsoundingboard.com</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b>****Update 8/1/13: If you'd like to read what's been on with Chuck O'Neal and Beaverton Grace Bible Church a year after winning the lawsuit, check out this post:</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<h2>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2013/07/26/beaverton-grace-bible-church-and-pastor-chuck-oneal-a-year-after-they-lost-the-defamation-lawsuit/">Beaverton Grace Bible Church and Pastor Chuck O’Neal – A Year after They Lost the Defamation Lawsuit</a><br />and<br /><a href="http://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2013/08/01/the-legal-rights-of-christians-vs-mercy-and-love-of-christ/">The Legal Rights of Christians vs Mercy and Love of Christ</a></span></h2>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-15571274363628338502013-01-01T00:12:00.000-08:002013-01-01T00:12:10.078-08:0010 Most Popular Articles of the Year at BGBC Survivors Blog<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's always fun to watch which blog posts are popular, so I thought it would be interesting to recap the ten most popular blog posts since the inception of the blog late February of 2012. So, here ya go: </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 1. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/08/buh-bye-pastor-edwin-young.html" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1155cc; cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Buh-Bye Pastor Edwin Young</a></span></span></b></div>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This was a huge surprise to me. I took a detour on this article after reading the Edwin Young story in the news. This type of church is foreign to probably most of my readers and this post on Pastor Edwin Young and Faith Tabernacle has received the most hits of any blog posts and continues to receive hits on a daily basis. Lois of spiritualabuse.org probably the most information on this group on the internet and she has told me that the people in these churches are searching for answers. You'll notice that many of the comments are anonymous. These people live in fear, yet they know something is wrong at their church and are looking for information. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I praise God that He has used this disturbing and snarky post to reveal the truth and hope that people will not settle until they find the Truth.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 2. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/07/judges-decision.html" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1155cc; cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Judge's Decision</a></span></span></b></div>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was volunteering at a Christian high school summer camp when the judge gave his decision on the defamation lawsuit brought on by my former pastor, Chuck O'Neal and Beaverton Grace Bible Church. I only had a short period of time to contact key people and write this blog post. Judge Fun ruled that all our statements were not defamatory. He concluded all of our statements were in a public forum and of public interest.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I want to point out something interesting. During the last hearing, there was a lot of hoopla about the sexual offender comments I made. In this article, you can see a screen shot where the judge refers to the comments. You will notice there is NOTHING in this court document about Chuck or his son being abusers. This is a new development O'Neal has concocted since the court case and was never included in ANY court documents. </span><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 3. <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/08/how-did-pastor-edwin-young-treat-women.html">How Did Pastor Edwin Young Treat Women?</a></span></b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is another surprise, but goes along with #1. The people connected with Faith Tabernacle in Kansas have been looking for answers. I've heard quite a few stories from some very brave souls who have reached out to me. Please pray for this group. Pastors are elevated to such a status that the congregation can see blatant sin before them, yet they choose to overlook it because they have been taught that God placed their pastors in that position. If they question their pastor, they are questioning God. This kind of teaching prevents them from finding a healthier place. It is a form of brainwashing and is spiritually abusive placing pastors in a god-like status.</span><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 4. <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/05/in-honor-of-hannah.html">In Honor of Hannah</a></span></b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wrote a tribute to my daughter, Hannah (also a defendant in the lawsuit). This was written right before her graduation from college. It was very emotional for me to write because it dealt with how I mistreated her when she was in our home. Hannah abruptly left home because she could not emotionally or spiritually handle any more time at BGBC. This story was linked in many news stories and blogs. It is still very difficult to read because each time I read it, I am brought back to that heart-wrenching painful time. </span><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 5. <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/08/hannahs-personal-story-in-her-own-words.html">Hannah's Personal Story in Her Own Words</a></span></b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was good for readers to hear from Hannah. She expressed what she was going through so well. This post has been linked a lot in homeschool circles. I predict we will be reading more stories like Hannah's as a generation of homeschoolers involved in the <i>homeschool movement</i> are spreading their wings. </span><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> 6. <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/12/impostor-bgbcsurvivors-blog-site.html">Impostor "True" BGBC Survivors Blog Site Created by Suing Pastor Chuck O'Neal</a></span></b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This was a popular post. People were initially shocked to hear that a pastor was suing his former church members, but my readers were equally shocked to read that he started a "survivor" blog, purchasing domain names approximately 8 months earlier. In this blog post, we read how Chuck O'Neal reveals that they (he and his church) are the <i>true</i> BGBC Survivors for having to contend with our "malicious slander" for four years. His wife, Tonya apparently has 5,000 business cards she hands out to people in town. They also have car advertising magnets directing people to this Impostor Site. Can you say "anti-evangelism"? </span><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">#7 <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/02/chucks-reviews-of-me-on-google-and.html">Chuck's Reviews of Me on Google and Threat of Lawsuit for Defamation</a></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This was a popular post because I quoted two of Chuck O'Neal's Google reviews. Keep in mind the Google review interface is designed to review businesses. Chuck O'Neal used this forum to review me, yet Google allowed it to remain even though I complained about it. Somehow O'Neal was able to get my reviews removed.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This particular post was linked on news articles and blogs, so it received a lot of traffic. This is also the review in which Chuck O'Neal implicates John MacArthur's church, Grace Community Church in which he stated the following:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="snippet" id="pp-google-review-snippet-0">After seeking counsel from a pastor on staff with <b>Grace</b> Community <b>Church</b> (under Pastor John MacArthur) and reading him several excerpts from JulieAnne's endless defamation, he recommended that we FILE A LAWSUIT in an appeal to Caesar as the Apostle Paul did when falsely accused of crimes against God and the state. </span></i></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This quote created quite a stir in the blogging community and eventually Phil Johnson, John MacArthur's right-hand man got involved, had an hour-long conversation with O'Neal in which Chuck apparently agreed that there was some misunderstanding and most likely no pastor encouraged him to sue us. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Phil Johnson later released a statement that they would not encourage a pastor to sue and explained their biblical stance on churches/lawsuits.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b> 8. <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-far-do-we-contend-for-faith.html">How Far Will We Go to Contend for the Faith?</a></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fred Butler, a long-time employee of Grace to You, graduate of Master's College, and bible teacher at Grace Community church is a blogger. He does not like survivor blogs and through a sequence of events, came to my blog to discuss survivor blogs and my case. His presence stirred up a lot of emotions in the comments. We later discovered that Fred Butler and Chuck O'Neal had conversed privately and this may have fed into Fred's remarks and why he defended Chuck so vehemently. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fred is a champion defender of his boss and mentor, John MacArthur, and goes to bat for him publicly on his blog. He also has plenty of words to say about people who go against John MacArthur publicly and seems to assume pastors are always right without considering that there really are spiritually abusive pastors. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Another interesting note: even though Fred has a strong distaste for survivor blogs, he seems to give a pass to Chuck O'Neal's "survivor blog." Check out this tweet from Fred and notice the date of December 10. Obviously, Fred obtained information about O'Neal's new blog and tweeted about it even before BGBC members first started commenting on December 11, 2012. After what Fred trashed my daughter publicly and eventually apologized, you would think he would have washed his hands from dealing with Chuck, but noooooooooo, he still meddles. Shame on you, Fred. You will have to answer for your behavior.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-KHtJ2NGHbJKMXeWfcSiJ9kRYOo80_WkbdmvZqhTPTiEQ5yUjf6C8bXo8hzFEgazs97eFidbixzSx2s7I0oXw-UIHWYdc9DHoeWEjpep3Jqie5MULPFAJirjxEKPzLyycqrABv_gRZsFN/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-15+at+1.19.36+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-KHtJ2NGHbJKMXeWfcSiJ9kRYOo80_WkbdmvZqhTPTiEQ5yUjf6C8bXo8hzFEgazs97eFidbixzSx2s7I0oXw-UIHWYdc9DHoeWEjpep3Jqie5MULPFAJirjxEKPzLyycqrABv_gRZsFN/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-15+at+1.19.36+AM.png" /></a></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b> 9. <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/05/chuck-oneals-complaint-against-julie.html">Chuck O'Neal's Original Complaints Against Julie Anne</a></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is one of the earlier blog posts in which I copied off key portions of Chuck's complaints from the original court documents so my readers could see exactly what was being said. This post was linked in many news articles.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>10. <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/08/can-spiritual-abuse-destroy-marriage.html">Can Spiritual Abuse Destroy a Marriage? Paul's Story</a></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of the biggest tragedies of spiritual abuse occurs when the abuse interferes with a marriage, leading to its destruction. This story is about Raymond Ernst and his experience with Pastor Kevin Dunn, of Eagle Heights Church in Hammond, Louisiana. It's hard to find anything good in this post, it is that heart-wrenching. But one thing that is good is that Raymond was willing to share his pain publicly. The Blogger stats show that people are doing internet searches for phrases like: can spiritual abuse destroy a marriage, spiritual abuse and divorce, etc. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Raymond's story validates so many who are experiencing the same challenges. And for that reason alone, I am glad this is a popular post. If it helps just one couple to leave their abusive pastor and try to restore their marriage, Raymond's pain was not in vain. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I never imagined this blog would have over 300,000 hits in just over 9 months. Thank you for your prayers and support this last year.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow we turn a page, move on to 2013, and move the blog in a new direction. Stay tuned!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Happy New Year!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Julie Anne</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-36685704751040037862012-12-30T20:52:00.001-08:002012-12-31T11:50:45.155-08:00Chuck O'Neal's Minister's License is Revoked and Warning to Readers!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCBIeBMBoDMXVsGBrhCEysbpw3LXwadKy5Vv9-TR223GuOfHGMcLeFaWy1Rv6w_-Y30JfZGtXdyYCSAmTsMAOZbee6QM_UNZK1vge-jE53DA_db1pZwB2YBXX57uRnNoNFTxSl9eQLDLnY/s1600/medium_3809888287.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCBIeBMBoDMXVsGBrhCEysbpw3LXwadKy5Vv9-TR223GuOfHGMcLeFaWy1Rv6w_-Y30JfZGtXdyYCSAmTsMAOZbee6QM_UNZK1vge-jE53DA_db1pZwB2YBXX57uRnNoNFTxSl9eQLDLnY/s320/medium_3809888287.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hey folks, we took a trip for a few days and have been chill-axin' a bit after a 10-hour-drive in adverse road conditions yesterday, but this needs to be addressed. During my time away, I became aware that Ken Silva of Apprising Ministries wrote an article announcing that my former pastor, Chuck O'Neal, had his minister's license revoked. I'm not sure when this took place, but you can read about it in the link below. Most of the article is old news to most of my regular readers, the new info is at the bottom of the article.</span><br />
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<h1 style="color: #330000; font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 16pt; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://apprising.org/2012/12/28/chuck-oneals-ministerial-license-revoked/">CHUCK O’NEAL’S MINISTERIAL LICENSE REVOKED</a></h1>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would like to share what I know.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A pastor in the group affiliated with BGBC contacted me in early in June. He became aware of the lawsuit when someone heard about it from the media and asked him about it. After reading the blog, he then contacted me via the blog e-mail address to find out if Chuck O'Neal had given any notice or indication of dropping the lawsuit. I told him that as far as I knew, O'Neal had no plans of dropping the lawsuit. He was was genuinely sorry to hear about the lawsuit and said he was praying for me and all involved. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, some six months later, I found out that Chuck O'Neal's minister's license was in fact revoked. I do not have any information specifically why O'Neal's license was revoked. No one has told me any reason and I have not asked. I have suspicions, but they are just that, suspicions. I do not believe his license was revoked because of information on my blog or solely based on stories they may have heard from former members. I do not believe his license was revoked primarily because of the lawsuit. The powers that be obviously must have some compelling reason(s), to have taken this action, but I simply do not have those reasons and I suspect they would not disclose them to me even if I asked. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That said, this has been a long and difficult road. When I wrote my first Google review, it was with the intent to tell our experience so that others could have this information available during their church decision-making process. We all know the story how Google reviews were removed, I was sued along with 4 others for defamation, we went to court and won. This should have been the end of the story. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we discuss spiritual abuse, we are typically discussing the kind of spiritual abuse that occurs while people are attending their church. This is a bit odd. What we have seen (and my readers continue to see) is that this spiritual abuse has continued long after we have left the church, some 4+ years later, even after a lawsuit was initiated in an attempt to silence us and our words (silencing = form of spiritual abuse). All of this behavior is spiritually abusive. A pastor is still trying to control what we can and cannot say.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chuck originally said the story was about slander and defamation. A big issue that got a lot of attention from Chuck and the media was my phrase about a known sex offender at the church with no known safeguards in place. This phrase was labeled by the plaintiffs as defamatory and part of the court hearing. It was listed in the court documents. Chuck O'Neal and BGBC lost the lawsuit. Now, after he's had his day in court in the civil court process that he initiated, he has still been complaining on his blog, on business cards being handed out (anti-evangelism business cards, anyone?) in the Beaverton, Oregon area, on magnetic car advertisements with information directing people to his Impostor blog saying that Meaghan and I are women of mass destruction and that Meaghan has reported Chuck and his son, Charlie, as sexual offenders.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will speak on this issue once and for all regarding Chuck's allegations that Meaghan Varela reported him and his son to DHS for sex abuse. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have never known Meaghan to be dishonest. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Meaghan told me what she told DHS soon after contacting DHS and I wrote what she told me on my Google review and later on my blog. I am not one to mince words. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If I had <b><i>any</i></b> inkling that Chuck O'Neal or his son, Charlie O'Neal, were sex abusers, I would have marched my derrière to the DHS office myself and reported him/them so they could investigate. There is no way in HELL that I would ever have withheld that kind of information from my Google reviews or blog. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Protecting victims of abuse is just too important for me. For him to accuse us of reporting him/them now, after the court hearing, is ridiculous. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These are allegations that I believe Chuck has concocted himself. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I believe that his blog, the DHS report, and the attorney letter filled with discrepancies are solely diversion tactics to shift the focus onto <i>Meaghan and me,</i><b> </b>rather than what we know to be true and has been evidenced to the world via the very public lawsuit: that Chuck O'Neal lost his lawsuit and is acting like a Spiritual Wolf.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You may have noticed after we won the court hearing, I attempted to discontinue the use of the full name of BGBC on this blog. I changed the blog name to BGBC rather than spelling it out. BGBC was referenced as "my former church." I also did the same with Chuck O'Neal's name, "my former pastor." I am and have been ready to move on. There have been no new accusations from us. We have said what needed to be said. The civil court made its ruling. The only opinion that matters to me is God's and I believe I have done what God would have wanted: to shine the light of truth on a very dark situation that was destroying people's spiritual lives.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My original post was going to stop here, but this evening, I was alerted to a new situation that needs to be shared in a more visible way.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A friend alerted me to this comment left at <a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/12/13/chuck-oneals-church-launches-true-bgbc-survivors-website/#comment-75006">The Wartburg Blog</a> today:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4LQxGVfAj550CbmrFMYB5UY65BCkg2luIJTtzhlPoUKVO0KFsc8amir3ur5fThQn49wytCs3hB9yN6wLEAGplYKaS_B6VKPkHRRncFYTpTbb0LQNjjNTGx2TCTNvp9iq43o1dKb0lHfod/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-30+at+6.58.00+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4LQxGVfAj550CbmrFMYB5UY65BCkg2luIJTtzhlPoUKVO0KFsc8amir3ur5fThQn49wytCs3hB9yN6wLEAGplYKaS_B6VKPkHRRncFYTpTbb0LQNjjNTGx2TCTNvp9iq43o1dKb0lHfod/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-30+at+6.58.00+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here was the response I left for Melissa at The Wartburg Blog site:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>@ <a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/12/13/chuck-oneals-church-launches-true-bgbc-survivors-website/#comment-75006" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Go to comment of this author">Melissa</a></b>:</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Wow, Melissa. I guess nothing surprises me anymore. Do you live in Beaverton? One would wonder why he would think someone who most likely doesn’t live anywhere near Beaverton would care about his links. How did he get your e-mail address?</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Even though he got his degree in psychology, he won’t be seeking therapy. And since no one goes outside the church for counseling and he thinks he is the only one qualified to counsel, that’s out of the question. Maybe his wife would submit to his counseling.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I notice he doesn’t come to TWW anymore, however, he seems to have time to keep up with comments here (adding one this afternoon): <a href="http://toddrhoades.com/pastor-starts-website-to-attack-churchs-attackers/" rel="nofollow" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">http://toddrhoades.com/pastor-starts-website-to-attack-churchs-attackers/</a></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Notice how he corrects a pastor who called him out. Also notice how he refers to my mentioning of the word “mediation”, but doesn’t say anything beyond that. And he does not say a thing about his recently revoked minister’s license. Wonder why?</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After typing that response, I notice "Melissa" posted a comment here on my blog. I've taken a screen shot of the comment and my response:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLYM0BGC80Me_bFKTcEjNHKvx0_CyQo-XoFbAKfUna__ZS3szf-nNGrX7n0vxLU1WiOXA2PZOSu8IaRohQ_mNCXDHC54Aj3mvIQXJma5OOaNViP9ks1kjERmk5_T8C55_WTYTQB6m-dsRF/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-30+at+7.02.25+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="337" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLYM0BGC80Me_bFKTcEjNHKvx0_CyQo-XoFbAKfUna__ZS3szf-nNGrX7n0vxLU1WiOXA2PZOSu8IaRohQ_mNCXDHC54Aj3mvIQXJma5OOaNViP9ks1kjERmk5_T8C55_WTYTQB6m-dsRF/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-30+at+7.02.25+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is Melissa's response to me. She mentions Huffington post and this is the article Melissa is referring to: <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/15/beaverton-grace-bible-church-oregon-family-bad-review_n_1518399.html">Huffington Post</a>. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<ol class="thread-chrome thread-expanded" id="bc_0_192TC" style="list-style-type: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<li class="comment" id="bc_0_193B" kind="b" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0.25em; text-indent: 0px;"><div class="comment-block" id="c8516230936444727189" style="margin-left: 48px; position: relative;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<cite class="user" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;">melissa</cite><span class="icon user" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;"></span><span class="datetime secondary-text" style="margin-left: 6px;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/12/impostor-bgbcsurvivors-blog-site.html?showComment=1356920004305#c8516230936444727189" rel="nofollow" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration: none;">December 30, 2012 6:13 PM</a></span>Yes, that's me. I also posted to his website, but of course that's moderated. I hate bullies, and he's the worst of the worst. I originally emailed him after the story hit the Huffington Post. Here's our interchange:</blockquote>
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_193MC" style="margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
-----Original Message-----<br />
From: "Melissa"<br />
Sent: Sunday, May 13, 2012 4:30pm<br />
To: "chuckoneal@cleaninter.net"<br />
Subject:</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
What an embarrassment you are chuck o'neil. I didn't know about you until you decided to file a lawsuit. I guess that debunks your lawsuit. You have effectively destroyed your reputation with me (and many other complete strangers) by your public filing of action against a member of your church. Perhaps, you should have just ignored the criticism, then people like me would have never known about you! And FTR, pastors who sue church members generally have something to hide. Of course that's complete opinion and should never be construed as chuck truth.<br />
Have a great mothers day from a very cool mommy,</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Melissa Fletcher, RN,BSN,MSN and a real doctoral candidate (as opposed to the faux version you right wingers prefer)<br />
<br />
Sent from my iPhone</blockquote>
<br />
_________________________<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
On May 15, 2012, at 9:59 PM, chuckoneal@cleaninter.net wrote:</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Things are not always what they first seem to be. Here is the rest of the story.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
BEAVERTON GRACE BIBLE CHURCH<br />
PRESS RELEASE</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
There is another side to the story. Beaverton Grace Bible Church wants to present its side of the story<br />
****************deleted most of this email because I stopped reading about 4 lines in when my mind started substituting words with "blah blah blah"***********<br />
We thank you for your prayers.<br />
______________________________ </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
-----Original Message-----<br />
From: "Melissa"<br />
Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2012 1:06am<br />
To: "chuckoneal@cleaninter.net"<br />
Subject: Re: RE:</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Your Hardly blameless, and your loose use of scripture to prove your position speaks volumes. Sorry "pastor" O'neill, you have no excuse. </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Sent from my iPhone</blockquote>
</div>
<div class="comment-replies" id="bc_0_193BR" style="margin-left: 36px; margin-top: 1em;">
</div>
<div class="comment-replybox-single" id="bc_0_193B_box" style="margin-left: 48px; margin-top: 5px;">
</div>
</li>
<li class="comment" id="bc_0_194B" kind="b" style="border-bottom-color: initial; border-bottom-style: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0.25em; text-indent: 0px;"><div class="avatar-image-container" style="color: #222222; float: left; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.2em; max-height: 36px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; width: 36px;">
<img src="http://img1.blogblog.com/img/anon36.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; max-width: 36px;" /></div>
<div class="comment-block" id="c3342763418950704418" style="margin-left: 48px; position: relative;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">
<cite class="user" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;">melissa</cite><span class="icon user" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;"></span><span class="datetime secondary-text" style="margin-left: 6px;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/12/impostor-bgbcsurvivors-blog-site.html?showComment=1356920042861#c3342763418950704418" rel="nofollow" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration: none;">December 30, 2012 6:14 PM</a></span>Continued:</blockquote>
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_194MC" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
From: "chuckoneal@cleaninter.net"<br />
To: Melissa<br />
Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2012 8:01 AM<br />
Subject: Re: RE:</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
Dear Melissa,</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
I hope you had a Merry Christmas! No excuses, just the truth of why we attempted to use legal means to defend our families. Just wanted to let you know that we have finally gotten the antidote to our revilers' poison up on the internet at **********.org or you can click on the following links:</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
http://www.*********.org/m******************************-family/#comment-184 </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
http://www.*********.org/wh****************is-site/ </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
http://www.*********org/a-***************a/ </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
http://www.********.org/defen*************rough-legal-means/</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
Thank you for your kind email and prayers!</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
For Christ and His Church,</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
Chuck O'Neal, Pastor BGBC</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">________________________________</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
Re: RE:<br />
Hide Details</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
From<br />
Melissa Fletcher</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
To<br />
chuckoneal@cleaninter.net </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
wow, now your bonified obsessed. I had all but forgotten you completely. Congratulations on taking your misogyny to the next level. I'm giving you some free press, just like you like it. I've posted your blog on my IFB cult survivors page on facebook so everyone can see how far an abuser will go to harass others and defend himself. I'm sure you'll get a few comments on your new blog from our members, so good thing you have the "moderation" option on. You would think that after your first decision to make a buffoon of yourself, getting national press coverage, and then LOSING, you would learn. But oh well! Being smart about handling people speaking against you definitely isn't your strong suit. Free advice for the new year: you did good cleaning up the comments on google. Most people forgot who you were including me. Take down your blog and it will stay that way. The more you fight, the guiltier you look, and right now you are looking pretty guilty. May your 2013 be filled with peace....your not starting strong but I have hope. </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;">
Melissa Fletcher</blockquote>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">___________________________</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, I was pretty surprised to see him make the effort to respond to me months and months after our last contact. It actually set off all my triggers. I didn't think I was particularly kind....or even feigned more than bystander interest, but apparently he feels he can prove something. He's sick and he needs help. When I looked up his website today and saw he is bragging that he has a blog to defend himself, I thought my my my....the lengths this man will go. He's stereotypical cult leader. Essentially he's destroying himself, and that's always sad to watch, although I can't fake sympathy. The pews of that church serve better empty. There are better places to worship and more loving versions of Christianity out there.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="comment-actions secondary-text" id="bc_0_194MN" kind="m" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-890253711" style="display: inline;"><br /></span></span></div>
</li>
</div>
</ol>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wholeheartedly agree with Melissa's words above. I am very disappointed that Chuck has decided to contact people like this and need to issue this disclaimer: </span><br />
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_194MC" style="margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: normal;">
</span>
<br />
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_194MC" style="color: #222222; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: normal;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WARNING to BGBC Survivors Readers: If you attempt to leave a comment at the Impostor Site or send Chuck O'Neal a personal e-mail, he may keep it on file for months or longer to use as he wishes. If you do not wish to receive any e-mails from him, please do not contact him via his blog or the church e-mail address. This is very disturbing behavior. </span></b></div>
</div>
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_194MC" style="color: #222222; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small; line-height: normal;"></span></span></div>
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_194MC" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_194MC" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
</div>
</div>
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_194MC" style="color: #222222; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
</div>
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/roswellsgirl/3809888287/">roswellsgirl</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> cc
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-9515292734552896802012-12-26T16:21:00.001-08:002012-12-26T16:31:15.173-08:00John Piper and the Church on Domestic Violence<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6nAgFRoEwFb-sOJcLEZDY5i0R5oMUNS-xdaeDhRccdArcvJJ9Lgu3Cufi7_hW-QKYvJhlcPxfhnQvkx70EoS6iMyPP7X9PUMjJaAAX6_zY22N_lcw8KSN-BitJ_RjAhSqtgz6WEo3eeIS/s1600/medium_5221236386.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6nAgFRoEwFb-sOJcLEZDY5i0R5oMUNS-xdaeDhRccdArcvJJ9Lgu3Cufi7_hW-QKYvJhlcPxfhnQvkx70EoS6iMyPP7X9PUMjJaAAX6_zY22N_lcw8KSN-BitJ_RjAhSqtgz6WEo3eeIS/s400/medium_5221236386.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><i>Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves;</i></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><i><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-31-8" style="position: relative;">ensure justice for those being crushed.</span></i></span></div>
<i><span class="text Prov-31-9" id="en-NLT-17270" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; text-align: center; vertical-align: top;">9 </sup></span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="text Prov-31-9" id="en-NLT-17270" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless,</span></i></div>
<i><span class="text Prov-31-9" id="en-NLT-17270" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">
</span><span class="indent-1"></span></i>
<br />
<div style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">
<i><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Prov-31-9" style="position: relative;">and see that they get justice.</span></span></i></div>
<i><span class="indent-1">
</span></i>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-31-9" style="position: relative;"><i>Proverbs 31:8-9</i></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In an earlier post, <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/10/domestic-violence-do-pastors-know-best.html">Domestic Violence: Do Pastors Know Best?</a>, I posted a video of a question and answer session in which John Piper was asked about domestic violence. The video is several years old, but his words created quite a storm. Here were some of the troubling words:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #222222; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If it’s not requiring her to sin but simply hurting her, then I think she endures verbal abuse for a season, and she endures perhaps being smacked one night, and then she seeks help from the church. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; line-height: normal;"> </span></i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #222222; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>~John Piper</i></span></blockquote>
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Enduring abuse "one night" could be a woman's last night in the hands of a violent husband. This was not the correct response. These words were not appropriate from a very popular celebrity pastor who leads a large church and whose words people respond to and respect. His response in the video gives a free pass for an abuser to continue destructive abuse and keeps a woman and her children in harm's way without acknowledging that some abuse is a crime and must be reported to civil authorities. A wife enduring abuse is not always in the best position to make appropriate decisions. They need help from clear-minded individuals who are looking out for their safety. John Piper failed to protect her and possibly many others who listened to his response. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last week, Piper released a response to this video and so I wanted to let you know about this recent statement. He's a few years late in responding, in my opinion: <a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/clarifying-words-on-wife-abuse">Clarifying Words on Wife Abuse</a>. Although Piper is now clear that calling civil authorities is appropriate in cases of crime, there is one thing glaringly missing from this clarification - a</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">n apology - especially an apology to those women who heeded his instructions to "endure perhaps being smacked for one night." This was abhorrent advice. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wonder how many women endured one more night of abuse based on this video? They trusted this man of God and his words. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dee and Deb, of the Wartburg Watch blog and I sometimes accidentally and/or intentionally piggy back on similar stories. I found out today that we did it again. We share the same heart for victims of abuse. Please do read Dee's excellent article: <a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/12/26/domestic-violence-christmas-john-piper-sgm-and-tgc/">Domestic Violence, Christmas, John Piper, SGM, and TGC</a>. She takes a closer look at a number of questionable phrases from Piper's article. It's a very informative article. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I do not think the timing of Piper's article coming out is coincidental. A number of bloggers have done articles on this obnoxious video and his teachings on divorce/abuse (<a href="http://cryingoutforjustice.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/john-piper-is-clueless-and-dangerous-to-abuse-victims-by-jeff-crippen/">Cry for Justice</a>, <a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/">Wartburg Watch</a>, BGBC Survivors, <a href="http://frombitterwaterstosweet.blogspot.com/">From Bitter Waters</a>, <a href="http://undermuchgrace.blogspot.com/2011/03/more-john-piper-and-other.html">Under Much Grace</a>, <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=wartburg%20watch%20piper%20abuse&source=web&cd=9&cad=rja&ved=0CGEQFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgalatiansfour.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F11%2Fabuse-in-dominionism-ultrasound-of.html&ei=hHrbULidL-mMiALZjoHgBA&usg=AFQjCNFtyJnfi0ekQ3vRoh9FQCT8uXGWrg&sig2=zaswbL2guOBUV3aV6YbjCw&bvm=bv.1355534169,d.cGE">Galations 4</a>, <a href="http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/4608/John-Piper-Does-a-woman-submit-to-abuse#.UNt6No6ExSU">Free Jinger</a>, <a href="http://thereformedtraveler.com/2011/11/04/the-new-priestly-class-pastors-that-advocate-submission-to-abuse/">Reformed Traveler</a>, <a href="http://eaandfaith.blogspot.com/2011/03/double-standards-is-true-confusion.html">Emotional Abuse and Your Faith</a>, etc). What I believe is happening is that bloggers are highlighting this behavior and readers/people are responding. They are responding in comments on blogs like mine, on the blogs of leaders, they are sending e-mails and challenging leaders on these topics. Thank YOU if you have done this. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jeff Crippen has come out strongly against domestic abuse in an open letter to pastors: </span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=an%20open%20letter%20jeff%20crippen&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDEQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcryingoutforjustice.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F09%2F06%2Fabuse-and-pastors-an-open-letter-from-a-pastor-to-pastors%2F&ei=f3vbUJLIDor9iQKQnoCwDg&usg=AFQjCNFMIr8XuZoQdiAFHA6gj6io_MmixQ&sig2=j12aMjnbdYJTnVNuvPEgyA&bvm=bv.1355534169,d.cGE">Abuse and Pastors: An Open Letter from a Pastor to Pastors</a> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">I</span></span>n November, I wrote a post (</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/11/complementarians-speak-out-about.html">Complementarians Speak out about Violence Against Women</a>) </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">about the many church leaders and pastors who wrote articles against domestic violence coinciding with the:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> <a href="http://www.un.org/en/events/endviolenceday/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration: none;">International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women</a>.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">All of this recent focus on abuse is no coincidence. It makes sense in light of the <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/10/lawsuit-against-sovereign-grace.html">Sovereign Grace Lawsuit</a> that surely looms in the heads of friends Sovereign Grace pastors and leaders, especially president of SGM, CJ Mahaney, who is named in the lawsuit. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">I would like to highlight an earlier blog post featuring a video by attorney Gilion Dumas: </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/11/a-word-of-encouragement-to-abuse.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration: none;">A Word of Encouragement to Abuse Victims Who Use Civil Litigation</a>. In cases of overlooked abuse and failure to respond or report crimes, pastors are also crossing the lines in the civil government. They have a moral responsibility to society to report crimes. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Based on the many comments and stories I have read of domestic violence in Sovereign Grace Ministries churches, it would not be surprising to see the current class action lawsuit</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> revised to include additional cases of abuse, including domestic violence. Even if it doesn't, the Sovereign Grace Ministries lawsuit is the lawsuit to watch among church leaders. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">The purpose of this blog is to highlight spiritual abuse. When pastors and church leaders fail to address ANY abuse appropriately in the context of church, they become complicit with the abuse. A failure to address abuse is a <i>choice</i> to </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">remain silent. Church leaders will have to answer to God for this non-response. Remaining silent is the wrong response and leads to secondary abuse: spiritual abuse. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let's continue to be the squeaky wheel on behalf of victims who cannot speak for themselves (Proverbs 31:8-9). </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/un_photo/5221236386/">United Nations Photo</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a></span>
<br />
<br />Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-68211368201203523552012-12-24T12:09:00.000-08:002012-12-24T19:25:08.137-08:00Carolers, Joy, Neighbors, and the Gift that Keeps Giving<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Prov-17-17" id="en-NASB-16891" style="position: relative;">A <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 0.65em;"><sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-16891A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup></span>friend loves at all times, </span></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Prov-17-17" style="position: relative;">And a brother is born for adversity.</span></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Prov-17-17" style="position: relative;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Proverbs 17:17</span></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Prov-17-17" style="position: relative;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Prov-17-17" style="position: relative;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_MM9B_55qnIkJR3X5Yk0WmE_prvmF_vbWSzPf1Qt4Hqd6WbkBR7GywQlN7iC1w7ukYywVqXL_k3yUPtwvEVF7zvjttG-Z_fPlYn8wY5eGshdEdg68vek_lCQAhtYXXkHz1WmH-hg0HZYU/s1600/398526_10150537908793653_2071691132_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_MM9B_55qnIkJR3X5Yk0WmE_prvmF_vbWSzPf1Qt4Hqd6WbkBR7GywQlN7iC1w7ukYywVqXL_k3yUPtwvEVF7zvjttG-Z_fPlYn8wY5eGshdEdg68vek_lCQAhtYXXkHz1WmH-hg0HZYU/s640/398526_10150537908793653_2071691132_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I collect carolers and found these on eBay last year. Love them!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Friday night I invited students from my kids' high school choir classes to come over for a night of caroling, hot apple cider, treats, and games. We had great time. My neighborhood has a lot of elderly and the group of carolers managed to bring three people to tears by their simple songs. There was no rehearsing, the caroling was spontaneous, with a dose of goofiness thrown in for good measure. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i></i></span></span><br />
<h5 align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Isaiah 40: 11</i></span></h5>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>he shall gather the lambs with his arm, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and carry them in his bosom, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and shall gently lead those that are with young.</i></span></div>
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One elderly woman was very surprised at our visit and you could tell that she didn't quite know what to do. She had her television on. She asked us to wait while she turned off the television, apologizing that the television keeps her company because she's alone. From behind her screen door, she looked out among our group and noticed a student wearing a NY Yankees baseball cap. She opened the door and told us the NY Yankees was her husband's favorite team. Then she disclosed to us that he had been gone for four years. She had a smile on her face as she reminisced about her lost husband. She had originally come to the door with a sort of displeased expression - it was a bit late for her, maybe she wondered who was going to try to sell her something on a Friday night. But when she saw the kids showing kindness and love, the expression on her face changed. As she spoke to me, she opened up, wanting to share what was going on in her life. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"></span><br />
<h5 align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Psalm 24: 7 - 10</i></span></h5>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and the King of Glory shall come in. Who is this King of Glory? </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and the King of Glory shall come in. </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Who is this King of Glory? </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>The Lord of Hosts, He is the King of Glory. </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Even after the carol was sung and the kids started walking away, she continued talking. She was so thankful we stopped by and expressed her thanks, but continued to apologize about the television being on because she was not expecting company. She and I ended our conversation as the carolers were a little ways down the street. The young lady with the cap told me she felt bad for wearing the cap - that it might have made her sad. I told the sweet student that her cap brought the woman joy by reminding her of happy memories with her husband. I think I'm going to take my own kids over to visit Frances during the year. She very excitedly told me that her son, and clarified 'one' of her sons, would be visiting on Christmas eve to spend time with her so she wouldn't be alone. I was glad to hear that.</i></span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We walked two doors down to the house of an elderly widower. My kids and I rarely see him outside during the year, but I vividly remembered his response last year when we caroled at his house. The house was dark and it took him quite a while to get the lights on. He apologized profusely for having it so dark - - he didn't want anyone to get hurt on the walkway and said he wasn't expecting company. He wanted to give us something, something to eat, but we told him we weren't there to get anything - that we just wanted to sing for him. I remember his tears last year. This year, as I reached my hand out to him and reminded him again that I am his neighbor from "down the block and over there, the house with all the boys," he hung on to my hand and then my finger as I walked away. He had a smile on his face. We were probably the only visitors he's had in a long time. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Further down the road, we surprised a woman maybe in her 50s. She lives in a very nice home. She smiled as the kids sang their carol. After the song, she asked what school the kids were from. They told her they were from the "other" school in the district (meaning they weren't from the high school down the block). She asked why they were caroling. The kids told her they were simply caroling because they wanted to share their singing with others. There was a shocked look on her face. I think she may have thought we were expecting a donation, and when the kids responded, she let out a gasp, uttered some words I could not hear, touched her hand to her heart and expressed a very heart-felt thanks. I could see the tears in her eyes: she got a gift from strangers with nothing expected in return.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"></span><br />
<h5 align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>1 Corinthians 15: 51, 52</i></span></h5>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Behold, I shew you a mystery; </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>for the trumpet shall sound, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and we shall be changed. </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Such a simple thing - carolers - neighbors - a connection - a song to sing. Seeing the response from those three people was so special. But even more than that, seeing how the kids noticed their responses was priceless. The kids saw how their gift of music and connecting with someone brought joy. This is the gift that keeps on giving. </span></i></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i></i></span></span><br />
<h5 align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>1 Corinthians 15: 54</i></span></h5>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and this mortal shall have put on immortality, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Death is swallowed up in victory. </i></span></div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That is how I have felt this past year. I got a gift from strangers with nothing expected in return. Most of you were strangers to me when I shared my story. Yet, you came, you connected with me, you prayed for me, you shared yourselves with me. I am blessed by having you in my life. Some think of online relationships as "not real". I can tell you that I have cried many, many times by the words of yours which have touched me, some in sadness, some in joy. You all are very real to me. You come to mind when I am at the grocery store, when I'm driving my daughter to her volleyball games. I thank you for the gift of relationship, for reaching out to me. I am a different person today than I was nine months ago because of the friendships I have made here. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you, friends. Merry Christmas, everyone! </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And for those of you who might be alone emotionally or spiritually because of circumstances or abuse, my heart aches for you and I am praying especially for you. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Julie Anne</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 5px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 5px;"></span><br />
<h5 align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Revelation 5: 12, 13</i></span></h5>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Saying with a loud voice, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing. </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and all that are in them, heard I saying, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, </i></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.</i></span></div>
<h2 align="center">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><em>Amen</em></span></h2>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><em><br /></em></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
In addition to caroling next year, it is my dream to do something like this with a group of kids:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Vnt7euRF5Pg" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
Update: Just after I posted this, I checked on Facebook and one of my friends posted this as her Facebook status:<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>Flash Mob Caroling at Clackamas Town Center. Brought me to tears…</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
(Clackamas Town Center was the location of the recent mall shooting in which two people were killed. How cool is that?!)<br />
<br /></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-45616834191447542822012-12-21T09:58:00.002-08:002012-12-28T21:55:39.168-08:00Spiritual Abuse: Verses Pastors Twist and Misuse to Control <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiELzPeBQEaKGtVl3cJkw6uan76lQVwfSGI6huDj38vmVH6VfnzCwfme-ESxtgzopBz4ylPKI20dw3sOwLHSFzviSS2j-BQwD34gSCKiXItmoWSysubeGhFqHMbE1bElp-d5Wl9j0WcNCQJ/s1600/medium_4543060842.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiELzPeBQEaKGtVl3cJkw6uan76lQVwfSGI6huDj38vmVH6VfnzCwfme-ESxtgzopBz4ylPKI20dw3sOwLHSFzviSS2j-BQwD34gSCKiXItmoWSysubeGhFqHMbE1bElp-d5Wl9j0WcNCQJ/s320/medium_4543060842.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span class="text Titus-1-7" id="en-ESV-29883"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;">7 </sup>For an overseer, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29883S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup>as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29883T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup>be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29883U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></sup>or greedy for gain,</span> <span class="text Titus-1-8" id="en-ESV-29884"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;">8 </sup>but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29884V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup>and disciplined.</span> <span class="text Titus-1-9" id="en-ESV-29885"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;">9 </sup>He must <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29885W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)"></sup>hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in<sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29885X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)"></sup>sound<sup class="footnote" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-ESV-29885f" title="See footnote f">f</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=titus%201&version=ESV#fen-ESV-29885f" style="color: #651300; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote f">f</a>]</sup> doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"> </span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span class="text Titus-1-10" id="en-ESV-29886"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;">10 </sup>For there are many who are insubordinate, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29886Y" title="See cross-reference Y">Y</a>)"></sup>empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29886Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)"></sup>the circumcision party.</span> <span class="text Titus-1-11" id="en-ESV-29887"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;">11 </sup>They must be silenced, since<sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29887AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)"></sup>they are upsetting whole families by teaching <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29887AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></sup>for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. (Titus 1:7-11)</span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In reference to the above scripture, authors David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen in their book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Power-Spiritual-Abuse-The/dp/0764201379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1356111217&sr=8-1&keywords=subtle+power+of+spiritual+abuse">The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse</a>, have this to say:</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
This passage opens to us the additional problem of placing heavy performance weights upon struggling people by means of misusing or abusing Scripture.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Instead of using the Word as a sword to pierce through the thoughts and motives of their own hearts, many spiritual leaders have used it as a stick to drive others, for a variety of reasons: to keep others from holding them accountable; to protect their image; to uphold a doctrine they have based a whole ministry upon; to keep funds coming in; to build religious kingdoms in order to bolster their own spiritual self-esteem. In other words, it's possible that some leaders teach the Word for personal gain, not to heal and to free.</blockquote>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of the primary purposes of this blog is to identify spiritual abuse. Just as I used Google search engine to educate myself years ago, others are also searching and stumble across my blog looking for answers. I want them to be able to quickly find answers to their questions and also provide resources: <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/p/spiritual-abuse-help.html">Spiritual Abuse Help</a>. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would like to solicit your help. If you know of any verses that pastors misuse in order to control or abuse, please pass them my way. I'd like to compile a list of these verses and add them to the resource page. I think it will be very eye-opening for those who are struggling with spiritual abuse to see this list and discover that their pastor has used verses inappropriately. Hebrews 13:17 is a biggie used by many controlling pastors. If there was a way to track this information, I have a hunch that this verse would be the most popular misused scripture. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have often said that spiritual abusers must go to the same school to learn this stuff because they use the same verses to abuse, same control tactics. I feel a little guilty putting this list together publicly, because leaders from CSAS (Creepy Spiritual Abuse School), might steal it and use it as their core curriculum, but I'll have to take that risk. Many spiritual abusers are narcissists who do not believe they are abusing to begin with, so they probably wouldn't look up spiritual abuse, or if they do, they are projecting and accusing others of spiritual abuse. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My objective here is to note the verses and then maybe in another post we can look at the patterns we see in the verses: the patterns to obtain control, the patterns of shaming, elevating a position of status, etc. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I haven't mentioned it in a while, but want to throw this out there again. When pastors use the Bible to abuse, the Bible itself can become an emotional <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trauma_trigger">trigger</a>. I no longer personally use NKJV translation. If I read that translation, I can hear the voice of my former pastor on specific verses. The way he used the verses sometimes was not how they were intended and I need to exchange that with truth so I can really hear from God. If you are having difficulty reading the Bible you used at a spiritually abusive church, see what happens if you try a different Bible or translation. If one of God's primary ways of speaking to us is through His Word, find something that works for you. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here are some posts I have done and comments by readers on scripture used to misuse or exert control over someone:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Verses Misused to Label People Who Question Authority as Divisive </b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Romans 16:17</u>: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><i>Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. NKJV </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Pastors use this verse to "mark and avoid" (shun) members they deem are divisive. This is not the correct interpretation. This is really about marking and avoiding false teachers, not congregants. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/07/false-teachers-who-mark-and-avoid.html">False Teachers Who Mark and Avoid Church Members</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Titus 3:10-11</u>: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Titus-3-10" id="en-NKJV-29934"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup><i>Reject a divisive man after the first and second admonition, </i></span><span class="text Titus-3-11" id="en-NKJV-29935"><i><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>knowing that such a person is warped and sinning, being self-condemned.</i></span></span><br />
<div class="passage-scroller" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: -2px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">T<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">his is one of those verses used to cut off and shun those who are stirring up problems. And by problems, I mean for instance those who are </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">attempting to challenge church doctrines that are biblically unsound.(monax)</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">The Titus passage is about false and divisive people teaching or preaching, not about pew-sitters. Context is important. Check out the verses before and after. (Arce)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">The following is from Biblegateway.com in connection with Titus 3:10 verse: </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">8750 false teaching = </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">Scripture repeatedly warns against false teachings, which deny or distort some aspect of the gospel. The origin of such teachings is attributed either to human error or to demonic inspiration. (ja)</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Verses Pastor Use to Puff up Their Position as Authority</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Psalm 105:15</u> -</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><b> </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><i>"Do not touch My anointed ones, And do My prophets no harm."</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;">This verse is in a Psalm that recounts the marvelous protection that God showed to the Patriarchs, the Hebrews, Moses, etc. in the context of the patriarchal narratives of the first five books of the Bible. Verse 5 recounts the protection that these people receive from kings and other rulers who might try to harm them. False teachers use this to suggest that they are such “patriarchal” and leadership types, and should thus be especially, divinely protected from EVERYONE. When they cite this verse, they also present themselves as being very, very threatening to other leaders, such as government authorities, other church leaders, etc., and are in need of divine protection as they conduct their “prophetic” ministries, etc. (Ken Garrett)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><u>1 Timothy 3:1 ESV</u> - <i>"</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><i>The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.” </i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">Setting aside the question whether pastors are always overseers, the use of the word office in this verse gives rise to a strong inference of overseers being vested with authority. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">Trouble is, the word office in this passage does not translate any Greek word. The word office was simply inserted into the English translations. More specifically, the Greek word episkopes, meaning something along the lines of overseerage or overseership, is translated “office of overseer.” I believe that the passage, if translated literally, should read something like “If anyone aspires to overseerage (or overseership), he desires a noble task.” Young’s Literal Translation reads, “If any one the oversight doth long for . . .” </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">If all this sounds too awkward for English language ears, I suggest something like, “If anyone aspires to the MINISTRY of overseer, he desires a noble task.” The use of the word <i>ministry</i> in place of <i>office</i> makes the passage compatible with Jesus' own teaching and injunction: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25b-28 ESV). A similar analysis would apply to every appearance I have found of the word office in the ESV New Testament, at least insofar as there is no standalone Greek word for any appearance of the English word office. (<a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/12/spiritual-abuse-verses-pastors-twist.html?showComment=1356281185203#c6727499919465056724">Gary</a>)</span></span><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Obey Pastors, Elders, Church Leaders</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Hebrews 13:17</u> - below are posts I did early in the blog, in March, right after being sued:</span><br />
<a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/03/obey-those-who-rule-over-you-and-be.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Obey Those Who Rule Over You, and Be Submissive, Part 1</span></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/03/obey-those-who-rule-over-you-and-be_22.html">Obey Those Who Rule Over You and Be Submissive, Part 2</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Tithing</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Malachi 3:8-10</u>: This verse can be used "to attempt to compel giving as a legalistic requirement (to the preacher and his ministry kingdom, of course) rather than as a matter of heartfelt determination: “Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, ‘How have we robbed you?’ In your tithes and contributions. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nation of you. Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.” (ESV). (Gary)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Arce notes: "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">Some of the tithing passages, and this is one, apply to the priests who were supposed to bring the tithes and not keep all of them for themselves. As in preachers taking whopping salaries and benefits, instead of feeding the poor, clothing those in need, and housing the homeless."</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><span class="comment-actions secondary-text" id="bc_0_15MN" kind="m"></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Verses Used to Enforce Mandatory Church Attendance</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Hebrews 10:24-25</u>:<i> And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (ESV)</i>. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In my experience, even pastors I would not consider abusive tend to use the “not neglecting to meet together” phrase in this verse to encourage attendance at church functions, especially services. I would be in agreement if the verse were to be used to promote the kind of face-to-face, participatory, fellowship in which all present could actually stir up one another to love and good works and encourage one another. However, I submit that the verse is being used manipulatively, or at least inappropriately, when the intention is to promote attendance at events where the laity, having little if any opportunity to interact with one another, have no choice but to be passive observers—excepting only when doing what they are told to do (stand, sing, sit, give, etc.). (Gary)</span></span><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Verses Pastors Use to Control How to Dress/Wear their Hair, etc.</span></b><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><u>1 Peter 3:3-4</u> Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><u>Deuteronomy 22:5</u> The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><u>1 Corinthians 11:6</u> For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. (Shannon H)</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">The following notes are from Pastor Ken Garrett. Thank you, Ken!!! </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Blessing/Cursing the </b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>: Genesis 12:3</b><i> And I will bless those who bless you, And the one who curses you I will curse. And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.</i> = false teachers have used this verse to suggest that they, as men who are favored by God (as Abraham was) are sources of either blessing, or cursing, depending on their followers’ treatment of them. To be generally well-disposed towards the false teacher will bring blessing, as will any gift or support given to him. To act/think/speak against the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, well…you get the idea.</span></span></span><br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Treating the </b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b> as responsible for the success of his followers in their spiritual battles: Exodus 17:11</b><i> So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed.</i></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The suggestion of the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> here is that his/her spiritual life (or disciplines, study time, prayer, etc.) is more important than that of their followers, and that their time and freedom should be protected and facilitated. In this sense, the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> presents himself In a more sinister light. There is also the implicit suggestion that the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> plays a sort of mediatorial role between their followers and God (cf. Jude 12b, where Korah is cited for his attempts to usurp the mediatorial role of Moses. (Also, Numbers 16, esp. v3)</span></span></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Cursing the </b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>false teacher</b></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>: Exodus 22:28</b><i> "You shall not curse God, nor curse a ruler of your people.</i> = </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">s often view criticism and challenge from their followers as a type of cursing. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Of course, in applying this verse to themselves, they are implicitly claiming to be “rulers,” a very powerful, unbiblical assertion! In reality most of the “cursing” done against </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">s is in private, in the innermost chambers of the wounded hearts of their followers. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Taking the Consecrated Bread: </b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>1 Sam 21 </b>6<i> So the priest gave him consecrated bread; for there was no bread there but the bread of the Presence which was removed from before the LORD, in order to put hot bread in its place when it was taken away.</i> And, (Mat 12:2-4) <i> </i>2<i> But when the Pharisees saw it, they said to Him, "Behold, Your disciples do what is not lawful to do on a Sabbath." </i>3<i> But He said to them, "Have you not read what David did, when he became hungry, he and his companions; </i>4<i> how he entered the house of God, and they ate the consecrated bread, which was not lawful for him to eat, nor for those with him, but for the priests alone?</i> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This account from the life of David, commended by the Lord Himself in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, has been cited by </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">’s to explain why it is acceptable for them to discount or flaunt traditions and policies in their churches that they have found to be restrictive to the goals of their ministries. For example, the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> who is challenged for his use of very secularized music or presentation in the worship service might counter, “Just like David took the consecrated bread to feed his men, so I’m not bowing to tradition when there are bigger issues at stake, like reaching the lost,” etc. When David took the bread it was with the self-knowledge that he truly was the Lord’s anointed, was innocent—and had to meet the physical needs of his men more than the ceremonial needs of the tabernacle. Also, he took the bread in full acknowledgment that, as the Lord’s Anointed, he had an implicit right to do so. (By the way, his decision contributed to the slaughter of many innocent priests!) In the same way, Jesus made the point to the Pharisees that as the Messiah, He possessed the sole right to subjugate the ceremonial rules of the tabernacle, because “something greater than then temple” stood before them (Matt 12: 6). That “something greater” was HIMSELF, not a particular flouting or dismissal of rules.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">
<br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div>
</div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>“Stretching out (one’s) hand” against the </b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>: 1 Samuel 24:6</b><i> So he said to his men, "Far be it from me because of the LORD that I should do this thing to my lord, the LORD'S anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, since he is the LORD'S anointed."</i> </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A classic </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> favorite. This verse, taken from the account of David’s refusal to murder King Saul as he, uh…<i>was having some private time in a cave…, </i>is cited as a warning and example to the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">’s followers—they must never address the shortcomings and failures of their leader, and must certainly NEVER presume to take a corrective or disciplinary role towards them, as they (the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">s) are to be considered “anointed of God.” Both Saul and David <i>were </i>certainly anointed by God—<i>through His appointed prophet/priest Samuel, </i>and at the explicit command of God. (1 Sam 15:1, 16:1, 13) While pastors are, hopefully, full of the Holy Spirit as all believers are to be, and they (hopefully) routinely receive the anointing-empowering of the Spirit for preaching, they are certainly NOT anointed to regal positions over God’s people as were David and Saul. Also, the “stretch out” of the hand that David spoke of was in violence—so as to execute Saul and take over the kingdom, NOT to simply confront him for sin or clarification, etc.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">The </span>false teacher</b><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>’s “Mighty Men”: 2 Sam 23:8ff </b><i>These are the names of the mighty men whom David had…</i> = The “mighty men” of David, who comprised a group of super-loyal, super-soldier, Band of Brothers all rolled into one, were a select group of warriors and friends (many if not most of them non-Jews, I believe) who pledged themselves to David for life, to obey his commands, defend his honor, fight for him, kill for him, etc. They were a type of royal bodyguard, only much more. They were also key leaders in David’s government. The fact that they are primarily not identified by tribal membership suggests that their loyalty to David was very, very personal—and that they had, for all purposes, given their loyalty to him over their own homes and national identities. Stunning, dramatic accounts are recorded of their feats, strength, and courage. F</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">alse teacher</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">’s (who often identify themselves as Davidic-type personages) have been known to gather their own little band of “might men” from the church. These men are chosen primarily for their personal loyalty to the pastor, and inevitably view themselves as distinct from the rest of the congregation. They are the inner-circle, and are often made privy to the secrets, plots, and general political-moral intrigues of the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">, and are rewarded for their “loyalty” by public acclaim and personal flattery and promotion in the church. They act as buffers against the regular congregation-member’s criticism or personal challenge to the pastor. Often they are put on elder-boards, and expected to demonstrate personal loyalty to the pastor, even over loyalty to the members of the church, let alone to the Chief Shepherd! (see also, 2 Sam 10:7, 17:8ff)</span></span></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Not heeding the words of the </b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>: </b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">These verses, and many like them in Proverbs, are used by </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">’s to claim a type of “wisdom” that any reasonable, godly person would obey and seek out. To not apply the counsel of the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">false teacher</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> is seen, in this sense, as an act of the foolish, and an invitation to great ruin.</span></span></span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Proverbs 13:1</b><i> A wise son accepts his father's discipline, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.</i> </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Proverbs 27:5 </b><i> Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed.</i> (Ken Garrett)</span></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Please feel free to leave any verses that pastors use to abuse, control, coerce, manipulate, threaten, etc, in the comments. Even if you are reading this post months later, go ahead and comment. This post will be linked in the Spiritual Abuse Resource area and will be the master list. Thank you in advance for your contributions. I think this is going to be very beneficial to have a comprehensive list. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
Korah</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am very grateful for the contributors to this article. The names of contributors are listed at the end of each item they contributed in parentheses. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/rykneethling/4543060842/">Ryk Neethling</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a></span>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com59tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-90051562330962953782012-12-21T00:24:00.001-08:002012-12-21T10:16:18.533-08:00Doomsday Send-Off<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've managed to outlive all of the other projected dates predicting end times. However, just in case it is the end of the world tomorrow, I thought I'd share this beautiful choral send-off. Oh boy, I better hurry, it's already 12:23 AM. What time is this thing supposed to happen? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The lyrics come from a poem attributed to Mary Elizabeth Frye. I find the choral arrangement breathtaking. It's hard to describe what it's like to play a piece like this for a choir - especially when I feel such a connection with the music and the lyrics. It's not particularly a religious poem, but the last line certainly is profound for a Believer: I am not there, I did not die.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">About five years ago, the high school choir I accompanied sang this at their spring concert. Three days before graduation, a senior was in a car accident and died. His parents requested that the choir sing the song at his memorial service. I'm not sure how those kids were able to sing it knowing the last time it was sung, their friend was among them singing it. But what beautiful lyrics to comfort them. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 19px;"></span><br />
<dl style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-top: 0.2em;"><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">Do not stand at my grave and weep,</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am not there; I do not sleep.</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am a thousand winds that blow,</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am the diamond glints on snow,</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am the sun on ripened grain,</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am the gentle autumn rain.</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">When you awaken in the morning’s hush</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am the swift uplifting rush</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">Of quiet birds in circling flight.</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am the soft starlight at night.</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">Do not stand at my grave and cry,</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">I am not there; I did not die.</dd><dd style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 1.6em; margin-right: 0px; text-align: center;">(<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Not_Stand_at_My_Grave_and_Weep">Source</a>)</dd></dl>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cIo7WOwtws0" width="480"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-41658483676054200212012-12-20T14:01:00.002-08:002012-12-20T14:27:31.833-08:00Music and Madness<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'Tis the season and my kids and I have been playing a lot of this:</span></div>
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7qppQL8UTrxJxoP3V_RgmbPxHGANbpoZtSn351AYk2vcJxB42L2fxvAoBQ-fu6LEmfk-jBKLYzZ00wDDuLbofEucL2ioJz4OHwJ2oDy48uu0lOfQE22grafNb_82o5UfGfwO8soPYtbr/s1600/medium_1466429937.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7qppQL8UTrxJxoP3V_RgmbPxHGANbpoZtSn351AYk2vcJxB42L2fxvAoBQ-fu6LEmfk-jBKLYzZ00wDDuLbofEucL2ioJz4OHwJ2oDy48uu0lOfQE22grafNb_82o5UfGfwO8soPYtbr/s320/medium_1466429937.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and singing in Christmas programs. There are two final music events this week. Music is so wonderfully healing and was certainly a nice distraction from some heavier subjects.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But hey, did you happen to read about Westboro Baptist Church's website getting hacked last week? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="http://www.informationweek.com/security/privacy/anonymous-posts-westboro-church-members/240144592">Anonymous Posts Westboro Church Members Personal Information</a></blockquote>
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="firstP" style="line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Anonymous collective has once again turned its attention to the Westboro Baptist Church.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 14px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On Sunday, the hacktivist group <a href="http://pastebin.com/pCTSgLTJ" style="color: #003bb0; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: medium; text-decoration: underline;">uploaded to Pastebin</a> the names, phone numbers, and social security numbers of numerous people it said are members of Westboro Baptist Church, which is based in Topeka, Kan. The data dump also includes the names of multiple members' children and grandchildren.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">The Anonymous outreach was fueled by Westboro members promising to picket the funerals of people killed last week at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn.</span> </span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can you imagine the audacity of this so-called Christian church picketing in a community that is grieving so badly? It is truly sickening. I imagine there are many who secretly (and vocally) applauded the efforts of Anonymous. I don't agree with their approach at all, but the message they sent was very good. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Check out this video Anonymous made for Westboro folks. This is a very well-written message. The computer voice is ever-so-creepy, too! </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/eB3wSK0Xi58" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is part of the message from Anonymous to Westboro Baptist Church:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #555555; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; line-height: 19px;">“Since your one-dimensional thought protocol will conform not to any modern logic, we will not debate, argue, or attempt to reason with you. Instead, we have unanimously deemed your organization to be harmful and have therefore decided to execute an agenda of action which will progressively dismantle your institution of deceitful pretext and extreme bias, and cease when your zealotry runs dry.” From Anonymous – Message To The Westboro Baptist Church</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would not like to be the enemy of Anonymous. Just sayin'....</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One benefit of social media is that many heard about Westboro's plan to protest at funerals in Connecticut today. Check out what happened:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<h1 class="title-news" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; font-weight: normal; font: normal normal bold 32px/36px Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: normal; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></h1>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/19/westboro-baptist-church-protest-newtown-victim-funeral-_n_2331880.html?utm_hp_ref=religion">Westboro Baptist Church Newton Funeral Protest Thwarted by Good Samaritans</a></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Members of the quasi-religious group, Westboro Baptist Church, planned to gather in Connecticut to protest the funeral of Newtown, Conn., shooting victim Principal Dawn Hochsprung. However, Good Samaritans were already there to thwart any possible protest with a human wall.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to picket Hochsprung's funeral on Wednesday in Woodbury, Conn., and "<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/westboro-baptist-church-picket-connecticut-school-shooting_n_2312186.html" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #771c85; cursor: pointer; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">sing praise to God</a> for the glory of his work in executing his judgment." The group has blamed the mass shooting on Connecticut's same-sex marriage legislation. On Dec. 14, 26 people were shot at Sandy Hook Elementary School, 20 of those victims included children ages 6 and 7.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Motorcylists lined up on Wednesday </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><a href="http://newtown.patch.com/articles/woodbury-preparing-if-protestors-attend-sandy-hook-principalmemorial-service" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #771c85; cursor: pointer; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">to protest the possible protesters</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">. "All these guys see us and think we're bad. We're not. It's solidarity, is what it is," New York native Jim Hannigan told Newtown Patch. "I just felt I had to be here."</span> </span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bravo to those who joined strangers to become a human wall to protest the disgusting efforts of Westboro Baptist! I am so impressed by the power of those who stand shoulder to shoulder against a powerful force. I kind of feel that some of you have been a human wall against spiritual abuse - especially those who have stood by me over the past 9+ months. Thank you! Your voices, prayers, support have been powerful!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Changing subjects, I followed blog hits and it looks like the recent developments regarding the Impostor Site are getting more publicity, perhaps not the kind of publicity in which was intended:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ToddRhoades.com has done an article on my former pastor's recent blog endeavors: <a href="http://toddrhoades.com/pastor-starts-website-to-attack-churchs-attackers/">Pastor starts website to attack church's attackers</a></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Additionally, Ken Silva of <a href="http://apprising.org/">Apprising Ministries </a>has published his second article on O'Neal: <a href="http://apprising.org/2012/12/19/todd-rhodes-on-pastor-chuck-oneals-website-attacking-church-attackers/">TODD RHODES ON PASTOR CHUCK O’NEAL’S WEBSITE ATTACKING “CHURCH ATTACKERS”</a> Ironically, I remember learning about Ken Silva's discernment ministry site while attending BGBC. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and a couple more sites which link back to the Rhoades.com article here: <a href="http://christianresearchnetwork.org/2012/12/19/todd-rhodes-on-pastor-chuck-oneals-website-attacking-church-attackers/"> Christian Research Network</a> and <a href="http://www.faithfulnews.com/main/view/236252/todd-rhodes-on-pastor-chuck-oneals-website-attacking-church-attackers">Faithfulnews.com</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/baileyfamily/1466429937/">PhilBailey Photography</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> cc</span>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-8171266902616900192012-12-17T18:19:00.000-08:002012-12-18T14:53:51.506-08:00Who'da Thunk It?<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thus, I heal therefore I blog; I blog therefore I heal. ~<a href="http://futuristguy.wordpress.com/">Brad Sargent</a></span></i></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO2ulWYsUQyHI7zwllyV3-6jLnGf1iH_LtkBXEbwqqtwLpCl4RJKeLjllaJ-ePmqRC7ui_61ZYGZPZnNKOP8d39zF1p3B7XlbbyQWkBDaylZNCq9ObZD-ZN8HtQ2es2QFk8HFFtW3F9lm6/s1600/medium_3450592233.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO2ulWYsUQyHI7zwllyV3-6jLnGf1iH_LtkBXEbwqqtwLpCl4RJKeLjllaJ-ePmqRC7ui_61ZYGZPZnNKOP8d39zF1p3B7XlbbyQWkBDaylZNCq9ObZD-ZN8HtQ2es2QFk8HFFtW3F9lm6/s320/medium_3450592233.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A new milestone: 300,000 blog hits</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for reading, for walking this journey with me, for learning along with me, for spreading the word about spiritual abuse. It's not a pleasant topic, but it needs to be discussed. I could never have imagined this nearly 9 months ago. I thought my story would be over with the conclusion of the lawsuit, perhaps not. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 19px;"></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;<br />There is no shadow of turning with Thee,<br />Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,<br />As Thou hast been,Thou forever wilt be.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Refrain:<br /><i>Great is Thy faithfulness!</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Great is Thy faithfulness!</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Morning by morning new mercies I see</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>All I have needed Thy hand hath provided</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,<br />Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above;<br />Join with all nature in manifold witness,<br />To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Refrain)</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,<br />Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;<br />Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow<br />Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Refrain)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 19px;"></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/clickflashphotos/3450592233/">ClickFlashPhotos / Nicki Varkevisser</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-76176968779734280172012-12-16T12:23:00.004-08:002012-12-16T12:34:47.996-08:00SGM Flagship Church Covenant Life Church to Cut Ties with Sovereign Grace Ministries<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reports are just coming in from </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://SGMSurvivors.com/">SGMSurvivors.com</a> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">that members of Covenant Life Church under head pastor, Josh Harris, have voted to sever ties with their parent, Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM).</span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is a very big decision. Joshua Harris was mentored by SGM's president, C.J. Mahaney for several years before C.J. turned the reigns over to Josh as pastor. </span></div>
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtCKF4NFcHWFH_syCfsgSKhyphenhyphenTwh7xpdk91PuaYzJqxLWYiaI0OlQ6QrrFKHthzBNA2mmms_1JAmNaessWv982AZiyJbneqnZrIlX8AuE_sc7Vi3JHXtuotnKQh9HdwwNxRQntOWX6-kznc/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-16+at+12.07.05+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="433" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtCKF4NFcHWFH_syCfsgSKhyphenhyphenTwh7xpdk91PuaYzJqxLWYiaI0OlQ6QrrFKHthzBNA2mmms_1JAmNaessWv982AZiyJbneqnZrIlX8AuE_sc7Vi3JHXtuotnKQh9HdwwNxRQntOWX6-kznc/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-16+at+12.07.05+PM.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.sgmsurvivors.com/?p=3886&cp=13#comment-69542">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">93% affirmation shows a solid majority wanting to change directions. Good for them! It will be interesting to see how this plays out with the SGM lawsuit. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My hope and prayer is that they will throw away the SGM polity and start fresh with much more member involvement. They will have a lot of work ahead of them, but this was a necessary start. We need to pray for those folks as they maneuver unchartered waters on their own.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-48997925884022005572012-12-15T20:09:00.000-08:002012-12-15T20:09:19.220-08:00She Was Not Alone<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text 2Cor-1-3" id="en-NASB-28804">Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 0.65em;"><sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-28804J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup></span>God of all comfort,</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text 2Cor-1-4" id="en-NASB-28805"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>who <sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-28805K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup>comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"> 2 Corinthians 1:3-4</span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This story amidst pain and tragedy we have witnessed this week really touched me:</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" seamless="seamless" src="http://www.katu.com/home/video/Heroes-stay-with-mall-shooting-victim-to-the-end-she-did-not-die-alone-183370931.html?embed" width="560"></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #343434; line-height: 19px;"></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="http://www.katu.com/home/video/Heroes-stay-with-mall-shooting-victim-to-the-end-she-did-not-die-alone-183370931.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Heroes stay with mall shooting victim to the end: 'she did not die alone'</span></a></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #343434; line-height: 18px;"><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">CLACKAMAS, Ore. - In the chaos of the <a href="http://search.katu.com/default.aspx?ct=r&q=clackamas+town+center+Yuill" style="color: #176da6; text-decoration: none;">shooting spree Tuesday at Clackamas Town Center</a>, several people stayed with Cindy Ann Yuille, 54, who was shot and died at the scene.</span></blockquote>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #343434; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><blockquote class="tr_bq">
Retired emergency room nurse Joan Smith of Milwaukie, Ore., was one of the people who worked to revive Yuille after shots rang out.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
She said she wanted the family to know that Cindy was cared for until she passed away. "We had to stay with her," she said, even though it was unknown at the time where the shooter was or if they were safe.</blockquote>
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This has been a difficult week. We will never forget the senseless crime of the Newtown, Connecticut school shooting. What a tragedy. There was also a mall shooting at Clackamas Town Center in Oregon, near my old stomping grounds, in which two people were killed. When I was in high school, Clackamas Town Center was newly built and I had to transfer buses there. Many times my classmates and I would go in the mall for a quick snack at the food court where the murders took place. It's so sad to think about. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Earlier this week, I dealt with someone whose family member had threatened suicide. The family member was not in a safe place and thankfully we were able to get this family some help. It has weighed on my heart. I've also thought about the Impostor Blog and the difficult exchanges we've had on the Wartburg Blog. It has been uncomfortable and has opened old wounds for me and also for some who have contacted me privately. I am putting up some personal boundaries on that issue because I need to live life and enjoy the beauty around me: my family, friends. Please consider doing the same if you are getting triggered. </span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I saw this news clip about two kind-hearted individuals who stayed with shooting victim, Cindy Ann Yuille, until she passed away. This is what a victim's family would want to know: did she die alone? Cindy Ann Yuille did not die alone. Two brave individuals, Joan Smith and Tony Charro, risked their lives while the shooter was still on the loose to attend a precious human being as she breathed her last breaths. Even though they did not know this woman, they respected her, they cared for her, they demonstrated love to her and did not want her to be alone. What a precious gift they gave.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I see that happening here as we share abuse stories. One of the scariest things that abuse survivors feel is the feeling of being alone. When I shared stories about the challenges of being single in the church, a common response was: we feel so alone. The love and support you show one another here - complete strangers - is wonderful. I want to be intentional in my love and support of others who are going through difficulties and struggles. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't ever want to lose the aspect of that beautiful gift God has given us - the gift of relationships, the gift of encouragement, care, and support. Thank you for supporting me behind the scenes this week. You know who you are. </span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-68398232581508952012-12-12T16:44:00.000-08:002012-12-14T07:48:05.290-08:00Impostor "True" BGBC Survivors Blog Site Created by Suing Pastor Chuck O'Neal<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just when I thought I had seen it all, there is a new twist in the Beaverton Grace Bible Church (BGBC) saga with Pastor Chuck O'Neal - you remember, the pastor who sued me and 4 others for $500K for defamation. Ya know, us moms always know when our kids are up to no good when things are too quiet around the house. Well, things have been a little too quiet around here and the kids have been caught. The kids aka Pastor Chuck O'Neal and "those with him" have created a blog using the domain name bgbcsurvivors.org. They are calling themselves True BGBC Survivors. Who or what have they survived? Us - the ones they sued. <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">HAHAHAHAHA</span></b> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I'm sorry, I can't help myself sometimes and I must find some humor in this somewhere.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How did I find out about this new blog? This morning, I received an e-mail from a reader mentioning "scripted videos". I asked for clarification and was told about the comment from Anonymous. Here are the screenshots: </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzPWG6SkJXOJ7BAPF9NB_hwKtHVTiOm2dShC1UVRBmozqI1e545m-OmrCo3ji_pECiszl34w2-DWA0CS3VTs2WQBnnptzOV6oLMB8vm6FE4ZFYk7b7pROIvoLiCx85fwknCWY-z3g2mcr9/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.52.55+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="437" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzPWG6SkJXOJ7BAPF9NB_hwKtHVTiOm2dShC1UVRBmozqI1e545m-OmrCo3ji_pECiszl34w2-DWA0CS3VTs2WQBnnptzOV6oLMB8vm6FE4ZFYk7b7pROIvoLiCx85fwknCWY-z3g2mcr9/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.52.55+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir4JQkSsnDKwLQO1nwZdKYGNYsh6P9DLiZCRXmfchiGiC9edfagQ1QM_H3E0fUpcZP2-ftyVKB7YZ776f852FjyWPtW-6BkXAv3yuua1UNIVzchr8jnqdGBBHqVSJflreS2BMIdIDQ-kJM/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.53.14+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir4JQkSsnDKwLQO1nwZdKYGNYsh6P9DLiZCRXmfchiGiC9edfagQ1QM_H3E0fUpcZP2-ftyVKB7YZ776f852FjyWPtW-6BkXAv3yuua1UNIVzchr8jnqdGBBHqVSJflreS2BMIdIDQ-kJM/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.53.14+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi_1Lo4Lg8CfjhCrihy2xuKijfCm8h_rrtlz6kiwr1_DcGM3f38z7K3iFbdIUSk8wh7rcGMb8SqvTUbY7mXYOfv2t3JrEPNq89PCgm71HutIAYx3IfFgtoeoyqvEqJvzSNDn0rjlL3Y3Rd/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.53.52+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi_1Lo4Lg8CfjhCrihy2xuKijfCm8h_rrtlz6kiwr1_DcGM3f38z7K3iFbdIUSk8wh7rcGMb8SqvTUbY7mXYOfv2t3JrEPNq89PCgm71HutIAYx3IfFgtoeoyqvEqJvzSNDn0rjlL3Y3Rd/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.53.52+PM.png" width="618" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj939SA0z9Arm4zm5mvRfbnJ71xsFZFFwWq2XJKoColiCAgVqjKRmVsQVVdmPAmhU9uslubPt3Ru0SM6RLrljv8PQDqQiu9N1OsbW4rHFJ5LXVPcBPzhDQGxsIK17Xwib7P8ccBC3z97V0p/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.54.07+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="78" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj939SA0z9Arm4zm5mvRfbnJ71xsFZFFwWq2XJKoColiCAgVqjKRmVsQVVdmPAmhU9uslubPt3Ru0SM6RLrljv8PQDqQiu9N1OsbW4rHFJ5LXVPcBPzhDQGxsIK17Xwib7P8ccBC3z97V0p/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-12+at+2.54.07+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beyond the initial laugh about the idea of a man who calls himself a pastor and church members being afraid of two moms and beginning an impostor blog, the reality is that spiritual abuse still continues. I've spent a long time on this blog talking about signs of spiritual abuse. When (if) you go to the impostor site, I think my brilliant readers will be able to spot some clear signs. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm sure you've seen children's coloring books with hidden pictures, right?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4hillm1IFucZA0eZqekqK9P8QxkhPXzsU9_Kho3bZCTfnd_6i57IHJEPQlPppFlTc1GWpuBMP3WHxtCkSJnh3To2GuuUOINITN-4hXnSgGODaX-S4m5IWFf1pTvBI1fYjjG0RSx9R5-DV/s1600/Poodle+Puzzle2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4hillm1IFucZA0eZqekqK9P8QxkhPXzsU9_Kho3bZCTfnd_6i57IHJEPQlPppFlTc1GWpuBMP3WHxtCkSJnh3To2GuuUOINITN-4hXnSgGODaX-S4m5IWFf1pTvBI1fYjjG0RSx9R5-DV/s400/Poodle+Puzzle2.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought it might be a good test of our spiritual abuse detective skills to use that same concept and attempt to "find the wolf" or signs of spiritual abuse on the <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.org/">Impostor Blog</a>. But wait!!! Let me give you some clues: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> a master manipulator will suck people in emotionally - they do that by providing information that invokes an emotional response. If you are able to separate yourself from that emotional tug, you will be able to more clearly see behavioral issues abusers use - the same behavioral issues that identify a:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0bjXymE-XdiSdWqDwd8b11uEWn1nNZiVwVN7Dc9yy4n-VZfncDrT2e4Wy8v3_S2PlxaveAldHmc_5oVUuK7HjWojJJa2KT0vgGQH8H66bA5MYLV6PjdB_9qXc3fv4qs6pQgkPXGTaJLs8/s1600/medium_1561811909.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0bjXymE-XdiSdWqDwd8b11uEWn1nNZiVwVN7Dc9yy4n-VZfncDrT2e4Wy8v3_S2PlxaveAldHmc_5oVUuK7HjWojJJa2KT0vgGQH8H66bA5MYLV6PjdB_9qXc3fv4qs6pQgkPXGTaJLs8/s320/medium_1561811909.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WOLF!!!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to cut this short. Tonight I'll be singing at a Christmas performance. I am praising God that He has revealed His truth to me, that His love never fails, that God does not bully us around, but his slow to anger and rich in love. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* * * * Update 12/14/12: Deb of The Wartburg Watch blog has done an article on this recent BGBC situation here: (click on title)</span><br />
<br />
<h1 class="entry-title" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #f3f3ff; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 3px; clear: both; color: black; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.1em; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 40px; padding-top: 4px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/12/13/chuck-oneals-church-launches-true-bgbc-survivors-website/" rel="bookmark" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Permalink to Chuck O’Neal’s Church Launches ‘True BGBC Survivors’ Website">Chuck O’Neal’s Church Launches ‘True BGBC Survivors’ Website</a></span></h1>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/akahodag/1561811909/">akahodag</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com195tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-30717442118794927872012-12-11T09:04:00.000-08:002012-12-11T09:16:28.442-08:00The Homeschool Movement: Michael Farris, Patrick Henry College and His Response to a LGBT Group<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You all might feel like a yo-yo today because I'm going to go down an entirely different path today. This post has to do with Michael Farris, but not about Reconstructionism or Patriarchy. I did, however, think it was important to understand his background and also the vision of Patrick Henry College leading into today's article. Today, we will be discussing the recent behavior of this Christian leader. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you were not able to read the previous two posts, we discussed about Michael Harris who founded Patrick Henry College, a conservative Christian college geared primarily for homeschooled students with a vision of impacting the world for Christ. Presently he serves as Chancellor of Patrick Henry College (PHC). For the record, I know a student who attended PHC. This student had life-long goals of becoming an attorney and the school seemed to do well for him, as he recently passed his bar exam. I'm sure there are fine professors there. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Apparently there is an underground group that has formed and has connections with Patrick Henry College (PHC). The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT">LGBT</a> group began a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Queer-at-Patrick-Henry-College/473320479385251?ref=ts&fref=ts">Facebook page</a> and also a blog (<a href="http://queerphc.wordpress.com/">QueerPHC</a>) and Michael Farris found out about it. The group used the name "Patrick Henry" in the title and that did not go over too well, to say the least. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">PHC has very clear policies regarding homosexuality in their <a href="http://www.phc.edu/UserFiles/File/student_life/2008F%20-%20Student%20Handbook%20-%20FINAL.pdf">student handbook</a>:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We choose to limit our student body, board, and staff to those who are committed to our statement of faith. PHC is committed to a non-discriminatory policy in so far as it is consistent with our statement of faith. The practice of homosexual conduct or other extra-marital sexual relations is inconsistent with our faith position.</span></blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">While we seek to avoid rules that suggest legalistic righteousness, for the good of institutional order and to convey a message that is consistent with the community we represent, we will always have student rules of conduct that will set us apart from the amoral, secular world. </span></blockquote>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is a pledge students must adhere to:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We, the students of Patrick Henry College, fully aware of our daily dependence on the grace of God, commit to set ourselves apart in thought, word, and deed, to honor Jesus Christ, and to love our neighbor. We passionately aspire to live our best for the Lord by conducting ourselves in the spirit of Titus 2:11-12: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age.” </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Therefore, I pledge, by the grace of God, to submit to proper authorities, to be honest, to respect the property of others, and to speak edifying words. I will refrain from using any substances, such as alcohol, tobacco, and drugs, in any way prohibited by proper authority such as the government, church, family, or school. I will reserve sexual activity for marriage, shun sexually explicit material, and seek parental counsel when pursuing a romantic relationship. Finally, I will seek biblical resolution and reconciliation in my conflicts. I pledge to hold my fellow students accountable to these principles and ask that they do the same for me, in order that Jesus Christ might be honored and glorified.</span></blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And here are more specific guidelines referring to sexuality:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Students will not advocate non-Biblical sexual practices, such as extra-marital sex, homosexuality or homosexual “marriage” (e.g., Is 5:20, Romans 1:26-27). (Supporting a candidate for public office who advocates such practices does not in itself constitute the advocacy of such practices.) </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Jurisdiction: These Biblically-based standards apply to all PHC students at all times, both on and off campus, without exception; they are binding from enrollment until Commencement, even during the summer and College breaks.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Students will dress modestly out of consideration for one another. Also, students will not dress in a way that will cause others to mistake them for a member of the other sex (e.g., 1 Tim 2:9; Deut 22:5).</span></blockquote>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, evidently, this new LGBC blog began last summer and recently added a Facebook page. This screenshot comes from the group's Facebook page:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioIpg-cnfFnrYnccCE-wQY5oBErMboCIC72iucxoYtw2OuzqQ4gqZRZ2YS5E_jwtuk-wfILm6yOUomcYdk7vNKWMA8spaJGocAh8CEjDw6VD47mymVEim15M9Wu1WWrwzos7wTe1pvTwtu/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-07+at+9.29.32+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioIpg-cnfFnrYnccCE-wQY5oBErMboCIC72iucxoYtw2OuzqQ4gqZRZ2YS5E_jwtuk-wfILm6yOUomcYdk7vNKWMA8spaJGocAh8CEjDw6VD47mymVEim15M9Wu1WWrwzos7wTe1pvTwtu/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-07+at+9.29.32+AM.png" style="cursor: move;" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I don't want to get confused on issues here, but want to focus solely on the behavior we see by this homeschool and Christian leader. It is perfectly within a private institution's right to enforce a code of conduct for their students. If students sign some sort of commitment, the institution has every right to take appropriate measures to resolve the issue. Patrick Henry College has very clear guidelines in their student handbook. They make it very clear that the homosexual lifestyle is against the Biblical standards they adhere to. I have no problem with that. If I had my own college, I would also have a code of conduct and it might look similar to PHC's.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Image is very important to people. That is understandable. It makes sense that Farris would have an issue with a group using the name "Patrick Henry" in connection with "LGBT" because the LGBT lifestyle is contrary to the moral code of PHC and its core biblical beliefs. But . . . . . how did Harris handle this conflict? Because he demonstrated his behavior publicly, I am addressing it publicly. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Part of the agenda on this blog is to point out patterns of behavior in church leaders or Christian authority figures that I find troubling, heavy-handed or even abusive. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let's take a look at the actions and behavior as a result of the LGBT blog and Facebook page.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Patrick Henry College is an institution which teaches students critical thinking skills. Students are taught how to debate and argue with the finest, how to lobby and engage lawmakers. They learn about First Amendment rights. They are taught how to use the law for religious freedoms and homeschool freedoms, but apparently only when it lines up with their morality. PHC does not like the freedom some of their students have exercised in forming their own online groups outside the school campus. In fact, the powers that be at PHC blocked the LGBT group's blog from the school servers. Take a look at what happens when you try to access the site:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgopypWpHoWIrUT51FzIUOsM78jlqjiU7FlnFy0j1Kep1fvfQsR6aoRp50M70X5xDWwj4B3iTCD0ScYgyerDJZwn1ZxSlO1RqK627z0gIQbHl5udQhAWc4uy5dcUVVb_WSoxkA0INXGpxBv/s1600/censor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgopypWpHoWIrUT51FzIUOsM78jlqjiU7FlnFy0j1Kep1fvfQsR6aoRp50M70X5xDWwj4B3iTCD0ScYgyerDJZwn1ZxSlO1RqK627z0gIQbHl5udQhAWc4uy5dcUVVb_WSoxkA0INXGpxBv/s400/censor.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.williedeutsch.com/showing-gods-love-to-homosexuals/">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did PHC not realize that by censoring, they were actually promoting the site? This is titillating news for students. Most likely the news of this banned site was spread far more than if they had ignored it. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A school that teaches students how to debate is afraid of a little conflict and censors? </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rather than banning the site, they could have used it as a discussion tool. Let's not forget that most of these students are adults. Oy! Moving right along. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, not only was the site censored, Chancellor Michael Farris publicly posted a comment on their Facebook wall threatening legal action</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Cy2KRGuZZ2hysFirCIWDVd2wJFGsxWblQXP2b6JlU7JbHk_fStXKHEVF2UJT31pxNiO6WW3hpVPlXQ2jNi7h_ly2y3SqJ_tSLkYuHCzaYkYSpGqsDX3thkslr3MfFkb-VlVf4sj2eUWP/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-07+at+9.44.56+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Cy2KRGuZZ2hysFirCIWDVd2wJFGsxWblQXP2b6JlU7JbHk_fStXKHEVF2UJT31pxNiO6WW3hpVPlXQ2jNi7h_ly2y3SqJ_tSLkYuHCzaYkYSpGqsDX3thkslr3MfFkb-VlVf4sj2eUWP/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-07+at+9.44.56+AM.png" style="cursor: move;" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok, this comment touched a big nerve with me. As most of my readers are aware, my former pastor bullied me, trying to force me to take down my blog by not only <i>threatening</i> to sue me, but by actually filing a defamation lawsuit against me and four others who commented on my blog or elsewhere. I want to be clear that I'm talking about behavior of this key leader. What does God's word have to say to do if you have a problem with someone? How are you to handle this kind of situation? </span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.</i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>(Matthew 18:15-17 ESV)</i></blockquote>
</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In light of this passage that any seasoned Christian would know, I wondered if Farris had made any attempt to contact this group privately either on their blog or Facebook page before publicly posting his comment above, so I sent a private message via Facebook to "Kate" from the group. Here is my quick note and the response from Kate:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8HcvBeFAgDcU5y2rGoWh9T04cIJKBfEE0COK3yrvuqHJU4V74ZlFJ74YK6wHzqfCy288jgz1cGWaEMQZAE7-s2hnMj2m6rZ2VJWSp4k0LdwamlbC__E7NoUG5_c4vgIDCUKT7JI0MoXKq/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-10+at+11.17.13+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8HcvBeFAgDcU5y2rGoWh9T04cIJKBfEE0COK3yrvuqHJU4V74ZlFJ74YK6wHzqfCy288jgz1cGWaEMQZAE7-s2hnMj2m6rZ2VJWSp4k0LdwamlbC__E7NoUG5_c4vgIDCUKT7JI0MoXKq/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-10+at+11.17.13+PM.png" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The bloggers had this public response to Farris' legal threat:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 300; line-height: 24px;">There’s not much to add, except that our message is intrinsically tied to the name Patrick Henry College. We are students of Patrick Henry College. We share about our experiences at Patrick Henry College. We reach out to other students at Patrick Henry College. The demand that we stop using the school’s name is really a thinly disguised demand that we shut up.</span></blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Snark meter is in full throttle now: You don't imagine I'd have personal Freedom of Speech issues, would I? Yes, it appears that Mr. Farris doesn't like people exercising their rights to Free Speech. So, let me get this straight, when First Amendment rights benefits Mr. Farris and his agenda, he uses it, but when it conflicts with his agenda or morals, he gets to act like a bully and threaten someone with a lawsuit. Where's the love, Mr. Farris?</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These students </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">are not dumb. They sought legal assistance with Public Citizen who also </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://pubcit.typepad.com/clpblog/2012/12/bogus-trademark-claim-from-patrick-henry-college.html">reported this story</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">The students reached out to Public Citizen for assistance, and before drafting a letter in response to his threat, I called Farris to inquire whether he was represented by counsel. Within a few minutes, Farris had posted on his Facebook page</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><a href="http://queerphc.wordpress.com/2012/12/03/farris-retreats-from-threat-to-sue-queerphc/" style="color: #006699; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">a retraction</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">of this threats, saying in tortured English that “while we believe in the inappropriate nature of the use of our trademarked name, litigation is not appropriate.” (The retraction may also have been the result of an inquiry from</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><a href="http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/12/patrick-henry-gay-queer-farris.html" style="color: #006699; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">New York Magazine</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">).</span></blockquote>
<div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Farris must have had a big reality check with that response and issued this retraction on the group's Facebook page:</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyU1hhZxKb2tWmHuNTl6pzXL3dqeMULNcSDNSSGpyBEhTwrpfPJICu24-ZoqzQY0NLsZbCCmzNJHyeAz_NsZdM8DLqfcUX3feIaRNkBNHYQPo5mNBcg8EFs84FfZg3xqSL5UTfcBc6qqYq/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-07+at+10.04.46+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyU1hhZxKb2tWmHuNTl6pzXL3dqeMULNcSDNSSGpyBEhTwrpfPJICu24-ZoqzQY0NLsZbCCmzNJHyeAz_NsZdM8DLqfcUX3feIaRNkBNHYQPo5mNBcg8EFs84FfZg3xqSL5UTfcBc6qqYq/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-07+at+10.04.46+AM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Well, yes, Mr. Farris, litigation is not appropriate. But the most inappropriate part of this whole ordeal was your behavior. The issue of lawsuits is discussed plainly in Romans. Christians should not be suing one another. Why were you so quick to take this situation public in the civil courts when you failed to address the conflict appropriately or in a biblical fashion? </i></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This really brought back flashbacks of my lawsuit. Can you imagine being a young student and then the top leader from your school threatening you with a lawsuit - without ever having spoken to you to work it out? This is bully behavior. I feel very bad for those current and former students who were threatened like that. This should not have happened. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My pastor did not like me exercising my right to free speech. My speaking out and naming his name and church's name tarnished the image. He used all sorts of methods to shut me down, removed Google reviews, and eventually filing a lawsuit. He was concerned about his image and reputation and used inappropriate methods of dealing with the conflict. He refused to try to work out our grievances one on one, with an arbitrator, but instead took it to the public arena, going against scripture in filing a lawsuit against Believers. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have one question for Mr. Farris: <i>how would Christ have handled this situation? </i> Would he have gone public or threatened a lawsuit? I don't think so.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Telling a group of people that you are going to sue them is not kind and loving, especially if you have not made any effort to connect. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In an attempt to keep the image of PHC untarnished, he behaved like a bully. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm glad he has retracted his statement; however, the appropriate response would have been a public apology. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After I hit "publish", I will tweet this article and tag HSLDA and Patrick Henry College. <i>Please do the right thing, Mr. Farris, it's never too late to apologize. </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here are more links on this situation:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/12/patrick-henry-gay-queer-farris.html">Chancellor of Patrick Henry College Withdraws Short-Lived Threat to Sue Student-Run Gay Blog</a></div>
<div>
<h1 style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto; width: 491px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 10px;"><br /></span></span></h1>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2012/12/05/leader-of-ultra-christian-college-threatens-to-sue-student-run-lgbt-blog-then-changes-his-mind/">Leader of Ultra-Christian College Threatens to Sue Student-Run LGBT Blog... Then Changes His Mind</a></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"></span></span><br />
<h1 style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-weight: normal; font: normal normal normal 2.4em/normal Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.02em; line-height: 41px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.popehat.com/2012/12/05/if-this-be-censorious-asshattery-let-michael-farris-make-the-most-of-it/">If This Be Censorious Asshattery, Let Michael Farris Make The Most Of It</a></span></span></h1>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 10px;"><a href="http://pubcit.typepad.com/clpblog/2012/12/bogus-trademark-claim-from-patrick-henry-college.html">Bogus trademark claim from Patrick Henry College</a></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 10px;">
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px;"></span><br />
<h1 class="entry-title" style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 21px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 30px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">
</h1>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"></span></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-61968906833372782062012-12-10T10:31:00.001-08:002012-12-11T09:17:27.886-08:00The Homeschool Movement: Reconstructionist Movement, Michael Farris, HSLDA, and Patrick Henry College<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Continuing with last article's theme of Reconstructionist ideology as in the homeschool movement, I'd like to give you some history on Michael Farris, one of the key pillars in the homeschool movement. I cannot say whether Farris would call himself a Reconstructionist, but as I shared in the last post, many times people adopt Reconstructionist ideologybh without even knowing they are a Reconstructionist. We can see a lot of evidence that he has been influenced by the ideals of Reconstructionist: full-quiver, teaching children at home, involvement in government, education, etc.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is part of his bio from the group he founded in 1983, the Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.hslda.org/about/staff/attorneys/Farris.asp">website</a>)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">:</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Lucida, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Michael Farris is the chancellor of Patrick Henry College and chairman of the Home School Legal Defense Association. He was the founding president of each organization.</div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Lucida, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Farris is a constitutional appellate litigator who has served as lead counsel in the United States Supreme Court, eight federal circuit courts, and the appellate courts of 13 states.</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Lucida, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">He has been a leader on Capitol Hill for over 30 years and is widely known for his leadership on homeschooling, religious freedom, and the preservation of American sovereignty.</span> </div>
</blockquote>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Lucida, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Lucida, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">And this last sentence is important to note:</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Lucida, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mike and Vickie Farris have 10 children and 14 grandchildren.</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Michael Farris has the picture-perfect family for the homeschool movement and Reconstructionist ideology. Because of his key position in the homeschooling movement, it's good to see what has influenced him and observe his actions and how he influences others. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />To remind again what this Reconstructionist ideology looks like, I found the quote below by author David Barton. Barton is well known in the homeschooling community and his history books have been sold in homeschool catalogs for years. He <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;">serves on the Board of Advisors of the <a href="http://providencefoundation.com/">Providence Foundation</a>, a group which promotes Reconstructionist ideas. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ok, JA snark: just now as I have been researching more on this the background of the Providence Foundation, I have found more connections with Reconstructionism on the very curriculum we have used in our home with our children. These books are still on my shelf. I want to burn them, but I may have to keep them to use for future blog posts! This ideology did not come from just leaders in the homeschooling community, they infiltrated into the very curriculum that we use with our children. I've been brainwashing my own children into this mindset without knowing it. I thought I was buying decent history curricula for my children and now I see that it was tainted with this agenda. Un-freaking-believable!!! This stuff just keeps going and going and going.)</span> </span></span>Read what <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Barton_(author)">David Barton</a> has to say on this subject of the Reconstructionists: </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"The Christian goal for the world is the universal development of Biblical theocratic republics, in which every area of life is redeemed and placed under the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the rule of God's law."</span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Christian families decide to educate their children at home, I don't think they realize that these Reconstructionist roots exist in the homeschool movement. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The next quote comes from a very informative article, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1023410/posts">Reconstruction Theology and Home Education</a> and discusses what a "Reconstructed America" would look like from the mindset of Reconstructionists:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In his excellent 1996 book, With God on Our Side, William Martin used a sampling of the views of several noted Reconstructionists to give a sense of how a Reconstructed America would be: "The federal government would play no role in regulating business, public education, or welfare…[S]ome government would be visible at the level of counties…but citizens would be answerable to church authorities on most matters subject to regulation…income taxes would not exceed ten percent - the biblical tithe - and social security would disappear…[P]ublic schools would be abolished in favor of home-schooling arrangements, and families would operate on a strict patriarchal pattern. The only people permitted to vote would be members of 'biblically correct' churches. Most notably, a theonomic order would make homosexuality, adultery, blasphemy, propagation of false doctrine, and incorrigible behavior by disobedient children subject to the death penalty, preferably administered by stoning…a reconstructed America would have little room for Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, or even non-Reconstructionist Christians. 'The Christian', one Reconstructionist author has asserted, 'must realize that pluralism is a myth…R.J. Rushdoony, also regards pluralism as a heresy, since, in the name of toleration, the believer is asked to associate on a common level of total acceptance with the atheist, the pervert, the criminal, and the adherents of other religions."</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, again, with this Reconstructionist background, let's take a look at Farris. He's an ordained pastor, an attorney, very active in legal matters, founded Homeschool Legal Defense Association in 1983:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Lucida, Geneva, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><b style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.hslda.org/about/">Home School Legal Defense Association</a></b> is a nonprofit advocacy organization established to defend and advance the constitutional right of parents to direct the education of their children and to protect family freedoms. Through annual memberships, HSLDA is tens of thousands of families united in service together, providing a strong voice when and where needed.</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Promoting the homeschooling agenda and being active in the legal system are definitely ideals in the Reconstructionist movement. </span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You might ask: Julie Anne, what is your beef? You homeschool - - don't you appreciate Farris' efforts for the homeschooling community? Where would homeschoolers be today if HSLDA hadn't helped with lobbying efforts and made sure all 50 states had decent laws ensuring homeschooling freedoms? Good questions. I'm glad you asked :)</span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We found out about HSLDA through a homeschool convention and discovered most of our homeschooling friends belonged to this organization. Paying a membership fee ($115 p/year) gives homeschooling the peace of mind that should their family ever have any legal entanglements with their local <strike>public </strike> government school, HSLDA would be there to help. They also have helped families in cases where Children's Protective Services and other government "intrusions" may have crossed the lines. </span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Included in our HSLDA membership, we received a magazine each month, The Home School Report. This magazine listed key legal issues involving homeschooling in each state. They also reported current stories of families with legal issues sometimes involving government intrusion, child custody issues, etc. We were kept abreast of various laws in states with contact information to make our voices count. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At one point, this magazine had a tear-out section listing what to do if a government official (police, school official, CPS, etc) came to our door making demands or asking for information. We were instructed to hang this list in a location (ie, inside a kitchen cupboard) so it would be handy. In addition to providing important phone numbers, the page included instructions like: do not allow a government official to come in your house, instructions to advise the official that you are calling your attorney, etc. I wish I saved a copy now, but it certainly promoted a fear of the government, that the government was not on our side. The stories in the articles were frightening, including stories of the government's intrusion in private citizen's lives, taking children away from parents, forcing children to go to <strike>public</strike> government schools (in the homeschooling movement, people don't say "public" school, but "government school" - <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">JA's snark meter is going crazy just typing this</span>). </span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HSLDA had a way of convincing homeschooling families that we needed them and their services. If we did not take advantage of their service, we were risking government intrusion in our lives, worst-case scenarios were described of government officials coming to our home and removing and/or taking custody of our children. If we did not pay our membership fee each year, we were risking unsurmountable legal fees if we got in trouble with our school district or government. HSLDA would defend us in court if we needed them. HSLDA would speak on our behalf. They would fight to keep laws so we could have the freedom to homeschool. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is a good example of the tone we got from HSLDA. It is involving a specific case that HSLDA defended. When you are about to venture into an unknown territory and experienced homeschool leaders present themselves to you in a way that they will help you, make sure you are safe from the evil government who wants to interfere with your right to homeschool, you tend to want to believe them. Watching a video like the one below can send a fear message that there is something huge going on in the government that may threaten you as you try to teach your children at home. It makes perfect sense to send in the $100+ membership fee and let them take care of you. You feel safe in their hands when you write out that check, because you never know when someone will come knocking at your front door.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q4C3zyy4XzA" width="640"></iframe></div>
<div style="font-family: Times;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did you notice the ominous music in the background? There was a purpose - it invokes an emotional response. It is manipulation. This stuff drives me crazy. They spoke for all homeschoolers. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But wait . . . <i>do</i> they speak for all homeschoolers? In 2000, when we were about to move to Oregon, I joined a homeschool e-mail group to get a feel for the homeschooling environment in Oregon. This homeschool e-mail group was a mixed group with Christians and non-Christians. On that e-mail group I heard for the first time that HSLDA did <i>not</i> speak on behalf of all homeschoolers. In fact, a lot of homeschoolers were quite upset that HSLDA presumed to speak on their behalf. They didn't like the way HSLDA had changed some laws and thought they were interfering with their homeschool freedoms and promoting their own agenda. Wow! </span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is when I took a closer look and saw that there was some sort of agenda going on. It was also when I stopped paying our membership fees. Since canceling our membership, we've had no government intrusion in our life and in fact, we've had no problems whatsoever with the two public school systems with which we have dealt. (Not to say that there are never legal homeschooling problems, but our experience has been fine.)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While searching around for more info on Farris today, I discovered a new group geared to teens founded by Farris and HSLDA. Here we go again. It is a group called <a href="http://www.generationjoshua.org/">Generation Joshua</a> with the intended purpose to equip teens in the political process<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: x-small;">(if it looks like Reconstructionist agenda, walks like Reconstructionist agenda . . .). </span>Here is the scoop:</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="color: black;">Inspired by Mike Farris’ book <em>The Joshua Generation</em>, Generation Joshua was founded in 2003 by Farris, Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) President Mike Smith, and the HSLDA Board of Trustees.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Times;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="color: black;">In the book, Farris casts a vision for this next generation to build on the foundation their parents built. </span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Times;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">Generation Joshua is a 501(c)(4) member organization and works with the HSLDA-PAC, an advocacy group. This allows Generation Joshua to conduct non-partisan educational activities while also being able to participate actively in the election process through the HSLDA-PAC. Since it was founded in 2003, Generation Joshua has grown to over 7,500 members and has established over 100 clubs</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong> </strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">nationwide.</span> </span></blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Times;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana;">As the Generation Joshua Program continues to grow, more conservative godly youth get involved in the political system making a real difference in our nation. The future of Generation Joshua will continue to be an exciting journey as the next generation shapes this nation and becomes tomorrow’s leaders.</span></span></blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">This group was alive and well during this year's elections. Here is a promotional video Generation Joshua produced for the occasion:</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 11px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/h9l21Jg-dz4" width="640"></iframe></span></span><div style="font-family: Times;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok, that's a brief history of some of Michael Farris' groups, HSLDA and Joshua Generation, including our experience with HSLDA over the years. Let's now move along to <a href="http://www.phc.edu/">Patrick Henry College</a> which Mike Farris founded in 2000. Read their mission and vision statements (keeping in mind the Reconstructionist agenda):</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>The Mission</b> of Patrick Henry College is to prepare Christian men and women who will lead our nation and shape our culture with timeless biblical values and fidelity to the spirit of the American founding. Educating students according to a classical liberal arts curriculum and training them with apprenticeship methodology, the College provides academically excellent baccalaureate level higher education with a biblical worldview.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>The Vision</b> of Patrick Henry College is to aid in the transformation of American society by training Christian students to serve God and mankind with a passion for righteousness justice, and mercy, through careers of public service and culture influence. </span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We cannot dismiss the fact that Patrick Henry College is strategically located in close proximity to our Nation's capital so students are able to participate in political meetings, hearings, lobbying efforts, meet government officials, etc. Yes, indeed, not only does Farris personally work within the legal system, he has been raising up homeschool warriors to infiltrate the system. <i>This fits the agenda to a tee.</i></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Prior to 2000, in the homeschool movement, we heard from top leaders that there are other alternatives to college for our homeschooled students. Colleges were sometimes labeled as evil influences, even conservative Christian institutions, and girls especially should not go to college, but remain at home under the protection of their patriarchal fathers. But strangely, something happened overnight in 2000. Somehow, Mike Farris got a free pass and convinced homeschool parents that the new college would be different. I remember the big build-up of this college even before the groundbreaking. This was to be the first college that would be specifically tailored for homeschoolers. Other students would be able to attend, but first priority would be to homeschool students. He made PHC okay for not only homeschoolers in general, but young ladies as well. Remember, he comes from the Patriarchal camp where young daughters typically remain at home until their daddies find them appropriate spouses through the courtship process. I don't know how Mike and patriarchal homeschool daddy's wrestled this issue, but there are in fact young ladies who attend this college. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">JA snark: I guess if you are part of this agenda and God tells you a patriarchal daddy that his daughter might be a special daughter who can infiltrate the government for God's glory, then daddies are able to cut the cord and let those special daughters do their good works. But . . . what happens if those young ladies find a young man without their daddy around? Who will oversee her while she is away at college? Who will make sure the relationship meets daddy's criteria? </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Stay tuned for the next post on what originally got me worked up and what led to this series on Reconstructionism. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-70945495937198790372012-12-08T12:10:00.002-08:002012-12-10T10:39:22.584-08:00The Homeschool Movement: Its Reconstructionist Roots and Rushdoony's Influence<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"We are authorized by God to challenge all that is not godly!" Rushdoony thundered. "God is angry with the wicked every day, and the sins of the wicked deserve the infliction of God's wrath in this life as well as the life hereafter!" Rushdoony</i></span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know the title of this post seems dry and boring. If spiritual abuse is a concern of yours, I encourage you to take the time to read this post carefully. Check out the links and do some research on your own. The information I have found has compelled me to keep blogging, to keep telling my story, and to keep sharing the stories of others. I am just a little worked up on this topic. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">T</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">here is much more to homeschooling than just educating children. There is much more to patriarchy and courtship than fathers being heads of home and parents involved in the process of finding mates for their adult children. You must know that there is an agenda going on. This agenda ties these practices together. I thought I was homeschooling my children because I could do a better job than the local public school system. I thought I was homeschooling my children so I could include Bible in their education and also protect them from negative worldly influences. That was pretty much my agenda. But that was not the agenda of the people I looked up to - the leaders in the homeschooling community. We looked to the leaders because they knew what they were doing and could help guide us on our foreign path. But there was an underlying agenda that I didn't know about, that they did not disclose. It was there all along, but it's not so obvious. I want to expose that NOW! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Many of you know that this blog started with the intent to share about my family's experience at a spiritually abusive church. There has been much heartache in that experience and then 3-1/2 years later, it continued as my former pastor filed a defamation lawsuit against me and 4 others (and lost) this past summer. I have seen the impact on my family and have done a lot of soul searching: what led us to that church? who influenced my life as a Christian? who influenced my life as a mother? who influenced my life as I ventured into homeschooling my children? As I researched my primary influencers, I found a common thread of destructive ideologies within the homeschooling movement. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My first article on the homeschooling movement opened up a whole can of worms on a culture that I have been a part of for the last 20 years or so. Some of these teachings (courtship, modesty/purity, full-quiver) have infiltrated churches and families who do not teach their children at home. It is a powerful movement and I caught on to the movement without realizing I was part of it. I embraced certain aspects of it, brought those aspects that I agreed with to my churches. As we moved around the country (my husband was in the Navy), I shared these aspects with my friends and friends shared the aspects they learned with me, etc. That is how this movement spreads. It can be one particular teaching or many, but they all intertwine, feeding the agenda.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is important to have knowledge of this movement because even if you have no desire to homeschool your children or maybe you are single or empty-nesters, this movement spreads to churches in some way or other and as we have seen with courtship, patriarchy, and other teachings, some of the teachings leave a devastating path with emotional and spiritual turmoil. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The other night I read an article about Michael Farris that got me worked up. Mike Farris is known as one of the key pillars of the homeschool movement. I wanted to share my thoughts on a situation regarding Michael Farris, but realized without sharing more background information, you wouldn't get the full picture. So, please allow me to do that now. </span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
Before Michael Farris was a pillar in the homeschool community, there was another very prominent figure, Rousas John Rushdoony (1916-2001). I believe Rushdoony set the trajectory for the homeschooling movement. Although Rushdoony died in 2001, he established the basis of the movement long before. These roots are in Christian Reconstructionism. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I found this article which described Christian Reconstructionism very well. As you read the variety of quoted materials included in the post, I encourage you to keep in mind how the ideas of patriarchy, courtship, full-quiver tie in with this belief system.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333;"></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.publiceye.org/magazine/v08n1/chrisre1.html">What is Reconstructionism?</a></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reconstructionism is a theology that arose out of conservative Presbyterianism (Reformed and Orthodox), which proposes that contemporary application of the laws of Old Testament Israel, or "Biblical Law," is the basis for reconstructing society toward the Kingdom of God on earth.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reconstructionism argues that the Bible is to be the governing text for all areas of life--such as government, education, law, and the arts, not merely "social" or "moral" issues like pornography, homosexuality, and abortion. Reconstructionists have formulated a "Biblical world view" and "Biblical principles" by which to examine contemporary matters. Reconstructionist theologian David Chilton succinctly describes this view: "The Christian goal for the world is the universal development of Biblical theocratic republics, in which every area of life is redeemed and placed under the Lordship of Jesus Christ and the rule of God's law."</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">More broadly, Reconstructionists believe that there are three main areas of governance: family government, church government, and civil government. Under God's covenant, the nuclear family is the basic unit. The husband is the head of the family, and wife and children are "in submission" to him. In turn, the husband "submits" to Jesus and to God's laws as detailed in the Old Testament. The church has its own ecclesiastical structure and governance. Civil government exists to implement God's laws. All three institutions are under Biblical Law, the implementation of which is called "theonomy."</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkOmDICzZLtc0VamXDTWM5r8gXRdA97_p8ZZSzFwl6Suu1gXX6MbI2NNBKHUonQkmiW-WP23wGb77larybA5C_dppi1UClIaDodyHXGxLB20CNUfmGnBgzEPPRRbF695OvbEfyjfZRLRDD/s1600/Aol8z7OCEAERWLn.jpg-large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkOmDICzZLtc0VamXDTWM5r8gXRdA97_p8ZZSzFwl6Suu1gXX6MbI2NNBKHUonQkmiW-WP23wGb77larybA5C_dppi1UClIaDodyHXGxLB20CNUfmGnBgzEPPRRbF695OvbEfyjfZRLRDD/s1600/Aol8z7OCEAERWLn.jpg-large.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://twitter.com/RJRushdoony/status/182814491392741376/photo/1">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let's learn a little about Rushdoony. This is from Wikipedia:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><b>Rousas John Rushdoony</b> (April 25, 1916 – February 8, 2001) was a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvinism" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Calvinism">Calvinist</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Philosophy">philosopher</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="History">historian</a>, and<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theology" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Theology">theologian</a> and is widely credited as the father of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Reconstructionism" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Christian Reconstructionism">Christian Reconstructionism</a> and an inspiration for the modern <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeschool" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Homeschool">Christian homeschool</a> movement.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-interview_1-0" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rousas_John_Rushdoony#cite_note-interview-1" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">[1]</a></sup><sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-Edgar_2-0" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rousas_John_Rushdoony#cite_note-Edgar-2" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">[2]</a></sup> His followers and critics have argued that his thought exerts considerable influence on the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_right" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Christian right">Christian right</a>.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-RIP_3-0" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rousas_John_Rushdoony#cite_note-RIP-3" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">[</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-origin: initial; white-space: nowrap;">3</span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">]</span></a> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rousas_John_Rushdoony#cite_note-8">Source</a>)</sup></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
I was glad to find this video on Rushdoony and his Reconstructionist beliefs. It is an interview with Bill Moyers of PBS and is very good. It's still difficult for me to wrap the idea around my head that part of this belief system is to bring the Old Testament laws into modern times; ie, death penalty for those who commit adultery, death penalty for homosexuals, etc. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="375" mozallowfullscreen="mozallowfullscreen" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/12444506?badge=0" webkitallowfullscreen="webkitallowfullscreen" width="500"></iframe></span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://vimeo.com/12444506">Christian Reconstructionism in a Nutshell</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3142076">Bruce Prescott</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><br /><br />This quote describes how Rushdoony took his Reconstructionist views and made a case for educating children at home and thus became known as the "father of the homeschool movement" by many:</span><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span">Key to this strategy was the homeschooling movement. Education, Rushdoony realized early on, was the best way to distribute his message. To that end, he wrote multiple books on the history of American education, charting its transformation from one-room schoolhouses and parochial schools to urban institutions. These books became guideposts for Christians who believed that public schools were indoctrinating their kids in the false faith of secular humanism. McVicar, the Ohio State scholar, says, “Rushdoony understood that if he changed the way Christians educated their children, he could change the way they thought.” (<a href="http://alumni.berkeley.edu/news/california-magazine/fall-2012-politics-issue/his-truth-marching" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Source</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> - ja note: this article goes on to discuss current people in politics influenced by Rushdoony's ideologies - very interesting article)</span></span></span></blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The homeschool movement is comprised of specific teachings/beliefs. These teachings come from various groups or individuals who share the common thread of homeschooling. These groups work independently and may have different focuses, are in different locations, but again, the foundational agenda can be found in Reconstructionist roots.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Interestingly, I had the above paragraph typed up a couple days ago and a few minutes ago I read an article by Frederick Clarkson originally published in June 1994 about this Reconstructionist "movement" and how it has spread over the years:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.publiceye.org/magazine/v08n1/chrisre1.html">A Movement of Ideas</a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a movement primarily of ideas, Reconstructionism has no single denominational or institutional home. Nor is it totally defined by a single charismatic leader, nor even a single text. Rather, it is defined by a small group of scholars who are identified with Reformed or Orthodox Presbyterianism. The movement networks primarily through magazines, conferences, publishing houses, think tanks, and bookstores. As a matter of strategy, it is a self-consciously decentralized and publicity-shy movement.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is exactly what I have seen happening in the homeschool movement and why it is so hard to pin down because it is not localized in one church, one denomination, or organization. Both the Reconstructionist and homeschool movements are so invasive and have spread the same way. You or people you know may be part of either the Reconstructionist movement or the homeschool movement and have adopted ideologies without even realizing it. I realized through my research that I furthered the homeschool movement by sharing books, CDs, talking to my friends about my new-found ideas. I had been a part of it all along endorsing it and spreading it quite convincingly among my friends and church acquaintances. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's a little more on Rushdoony. In 1965 he founded the non-profit organization called Chalcedon Foundation to promote the Reconstructionism. Read Chalcedon's vision statement <a href="http://chalcedon.edu/about/vision/">here</a>. </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's a brief summary from Wikipedia:</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"></span></span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Times;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The <b>Chalcedon Foundation</b> is an American <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Reconstructionist" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Christian Reconstructionist">Christian Reconstructionist</a> organization founded by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rousas_John_Rushdoony" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Rousas John Rushdoony">Rousas John Rushdoony</a> in 1965. Named for the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_of_Chalcedon" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Council of Chalcedon">Council of Chalcedon</a>,<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-vision_2-0" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalcedon_Foundation#cite_note-vision-2" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">[2]</a></sup> it has also included <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theologian" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Theologian">theologians</a> such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_North_(economist)" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Gary North (economist)">Gary North</a>, who later founded his own organization, the Institute for Christian Economics.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Times;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Chalcedon Foundation provides educational material in the form of books, newsletter reports and various electronic media, toward advancing the theological teachings of Rushdoony's Christian Reconstructionism movement. It is notable for its role in the influence of Christianity on politics in the U.S.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-Worthen_3-0" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalcedon_Foundation#cite_note-Worthen-3" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">[3]</a></sup> and has been described as "a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Think_tank" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Think tank">think tank</a> of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_right" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Christian right">Religious Right</a>.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-Chapman_4-0" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalcedon_Foundation#cite_note-Chapman-4" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">[4]</a></sup> Rushdoony's son, Mark now heads the foundation.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-family: Times;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Chalcedon Foundation has been listed as an anti-gay <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_group" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Hate group">hate group</a> by the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Poverty_Law_Center" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Southern Poverty Law Center">Southern Poverty Law Center</a>for, among other reasons, supporting the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_punishment" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Capital punishment">death penalty</a> for homosexuals.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-Schlatter_5-0" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1em;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalcedon_Foundation#cite_note-Schlatter-5" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;">[5]</a></sup></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We can see in the above summary that this Reconstructionist organization has infiltrated the education systems and politics in America with their Reconstructionist agenda. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here are more articles I found interesting in researching this topic:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://reason.com/archives/1998/11/01/invitation-to-a-stoning">Invitation to a Stoning</a></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2005/winter/casting-stones">Chalcedon Foundation Leads Christian Reconstructionists in Campaign to Convert Conservative Fundamentalist Churches</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://alumni.berkeley.edu/news/california-magazine/fall-2012-politics-issue/his-truth-marching">His Truth is Marching On</a><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we think of spiritual abuse, we think of it in the confines of a church. The homeschool movement is different because it has no confines - it is scattered all over the country, people can become as involved as they want in various groups, but what I've noticed is that there are behavioral characteristics used by those in the homeschool movement which are similar to behavior used by spiritually abusive church leaders. There are different dynamics, but the end results can be the same. This is why I keep sharing personal stories about these topics here. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<h1 class="page-title" style="color: black; line-height: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span></h1>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-32394663769703791582012-12-05T17:01:00.000-08:002012-12-07T14:02:40.413-08:00The UnMarried Movie: Singleness as a Result of Rigid and Controlled Parenting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9smiJ0EjCQvlVVYHC_mPgq0D18AzlPQPvyadd0ZDqTMpNmBk6bBe-xJCdCKr1kfiqE6pu3XJhTG6I1ZWqfuhvApk6v21xy1nmwawgQ0o30fnEA3vIR5po8gA-925SfDRef5v9bKUQaA9/s1600/medium_8042578241.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9smiJ0EjCQvlVVYHC_mPgq0D18AzlPQPvyadd0ZDqTMpNmBk6bBe-xJCdCKr1kfiqE6pu3XJhTG6I1ZWqfuhvApk6v21xy1nmwawgQ0o30fnEA3vIR5po8gA-925SfDRef5v9bKUQaA9/s320/medium_8042578241.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm still getting comments on the UnMarried movie posts (</span><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/12/more-background-info-on-movie-unmarried.html">More Background Info on the Movie: UnMarried</a> and <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/11/unmarried-movie-is-staying-single.html">UnMarried Movie: Is Staying Single Sabotaging Chr...</a> ) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and today while looking through my Twitter feed, I noticed quite a few tweets on the topics of modesty and purity. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In case you missed the brief movie trailer, here it is:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7Nb-0lMevoo" width="640"></iframe></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've discussed this on my blog before. Our former church had rigid rules on modesty and purity <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/05/hyper-modesty-in-church.html">Hyper-Modesty in the Church, Part 1</a>, <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/05/hyper-modesty-in-church-part-2.html">Hyper-Modesty in the Church, Part 2</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4861198333046479177#editor/target=post;postID=8351946246441816963;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=6;src=postname">Hyper Modesty in the Church, Part 3</a>, and <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/05/legalism-do-not-expose-your-thighs.html">BGBC Survivors: Legalism: Do Not Expose Your Thighs!</a>)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span>We had a dress code - nothing above the knees should be showing. The bride in the picture above would not have been allowed to wear that strapless wedding gown at our church. Other rules included no co-ed swimming. The boys were encouraged to turn their heads if they saw a woman jogging. Some moms were known to cover their boys' eyes when passing through the lingerie section of a clothing store or when passing Victoria Secret at the mall. I remember my kids racing to the tv to turn off "inappropriate" commercials or shows when they saw someone dressed immodestly. Some parents would mark up texts books with a black marker if there was a picture of an immodest sculpture or painting. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then there were the purity rules - no boy or girl should ever be alone together. Relationships had to go through the father, girls were given purity rings by their fathers (and mothers) and they pledged to remain virgins until marriage, sometimes signing a covenant . . . . and so on.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I was thinking about modesty and purity, it made me wonder about the movie, <a href="http://www.renewinghousewives.com/2012/11/unmarried-risr-of-singleness.html">UnMarried</a>. Do you suppose all of these modesty and purity rules may have backfired and contributed to the growing number of singles? The people behind the UnMarried movie come from the patriarchal background. They believe in moms having lots and lots of babies to populate the earth with more Christians. Singleness remains a threat to their way of doing things because no babies means fewer Christians in future generations (as if they are the ones who determines if their child was elect, right?).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One thing I've heard from moms who have raised young adults in the homeschool environment is that their adult children are somewhat afraid of the opposite sex. They don't quite know what to do with them. For years these kids were told don't look at the opposite sex, don't lust, don't touch. And now the producers of this movie are telling these same young adults: hurry up and get married. Perhaps they might even say these singles are in sin and preempting God's plans for His church by their "prolonged adolescence". I've certainly read it before by folks within this movement.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is more whacked out stuff, people! Tell young adults, don't touch, don't look and then tell them to get married, touch, and procreate. What a roller coaster ride for these young adults. That absurdity might drive me to prolonged adolescence and therapy. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yup, I think it backfired. It is my opinion that the movie, <i>UnMarried</i> is an attempt at damage control. They are trying to recover from the mess they made by their ridiculous rules of making sure their children were completely modest and virginal. Legalism backfires, people. It just does not work the way people want. It usually produces extremes. In my former church, the result of this kind of legalism was a lot of young adults acting out sexually. It can go the other direction, too - prolonged singleness. They've raised a bunch of adult children who have difficulty functioning normally in a mixed-sex society. They may be afraid to look at the opposite sex for fear of lust and sin. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They may be afraid to talk to someone of the opposite sex because they aren't married yet and fear, <i>What would people think? </i>In most circles I am familiar with, a young couple would not be allowed to go to even Starbucks alone unless a little sibling tagged along. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><i><br /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To the producers of this movie, throw away your legalistic courtship rules and purity contracts. Let young adult men and women decide for themselves who they want to share the rest of their lives with. Did your parents decide for you who you were to marry? Did your parents sign purity contracts with you? Let these young adults listen to God for the plans He has for them. Your job as parent was to train them to hear the voice of God, to read His word, to accept the counsel of wise people. If you did your job right, you have nothing to fear. God is sovereign, right? Do you trust God with your adult children and their future?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/seanmolin/8042578241/">Sean Molin Photography</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a></span>Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-79086386034782425072012-12-04T12:15:00.001-08:002012-12-04T12:35:29.234-08:00False Teachers: The Hard Gospel and Grace<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4Awjv9BDx7wiq-OQsj7gWjrhyDj60OPbD2wLDR-JMhz4KT9x0ZFQAfdjAKeyFUg5lYG-RtkSgCy13zomqQocA09mAWHJPmZD3nUeGsf2c0rrMvEPO5nR0roF0N9bEtpSUGZ_onA1N2Ay/s1600/medium_251265727.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4Awjv9BDx7wiq-OQsj7gWjrhyDj60OPbD2wLDR-JMhz4KT9x0ZFQAfdjAKeyFUg5lYG-RtkSgCy13zomqQocA09mAWHJPmZD3nUeGsf2c0rrMvEPO5nR0roF0N9bEtpSUGZ_onA1N2Ay/s400/medium_251265727.jpg" width="296" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In my former church our pastor spoke that our church was different than others because he preached a tough gospel message. It was implied that people in other churches would have difficulty getting through the narrow gate to heaven because their pastors preached what they wanted to hear, not what was necessary to get to heaven. Our pastor didn't water down the Word and wasn't into seeker-sensitive or easy-believisim teachings. Some current church members even mentioned this narrow gate wording on their Google reviews which have since been revised or/or removed. It was (is) a source of pride among the congregation. We felt thankful that we didn't have to listen to other pastor's sermons which were most likely weak. There was a sense among us that other pastors must not love their congregations the way ours did because our pastor preached the hard teachings. We were special ones to have this teaching, even though it meant a more difficult path. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Spiritual abuse pattern: A common trait in spiritually abusive churches is <i>elitism</i>. <i> If we are so special, and all others churches are inferior, who wants to attend an inferior church? </i> Elitism is a manipulation tactic to keep people at the church. And it works powerfully because we become convinced that no other church will measure up to our elite church.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="woj">“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.</span> <span class="text Matt-7-14" id="en-NKJV-23331"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup><span class="woj">Because<b> </b></span><span class="woj">narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7:13-14</span></span></i></span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What we saw modeled to us to get to that narrow path, however, was works-based religion. We felt the need to be present at all church meetings. If there was a car wash evangelism outreach, it was important to be there. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We felt pressure to go out and and evangelize on Friday nights, to other events he deemed important. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had to use the right formula for evangelism, we had rules of how to dress, there were rules of when women could talk, what members did with our time outside of church. Somehow, the pastor did not need to say a thing and people still felt pressure and could hear his rules in their heads. These were unspoken rules. I've spoken to a number of people who sensed this pressure and felt guilty for not attending a specific event or teaching.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Religion always teaches that you can get to God by doing something. Your good standing with God depends on what you do. Do the law, perform religion, do it right, look good, try hard. Is that the gate through which we are called to find life? No. Those leading people to it are ravenous wolves in sheep's clothing. They look like sheep, and they appear to be the safest, most righteous, but they lead people down the wrong path. Jesus <i>plus anything</i> is not Jesus! </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Power-Spiritual-Abuse-The/dp/0764201379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354590559&sr=8-1&keywords=subtle+power+of+spiritual">The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse </a>by David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen)</span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Look at the verse following the narrow gate passage:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><sup class="versenum" style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;">15 </sup></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="woj">“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span> </blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I discussed a bit of this with my friend, Pastor Ken Garrett. Ken has first-hand experience of being involved in an abusive church for over a decade and has studied spiritual abuse at great length. I always appreciate his insight. He shared this with me and it goes right along with what we and so many people experience in abusive churches:</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">Dogmatic, demanding preachers are prone to boast that their "gospel" is THE narrow way; and they can usually point to a truck-load of rules, mores, taboos, and religious expectations and dogmatic doctrines that they've laid on their followers as evidence of just how "narrow" their way is! Basically, any church that doesn't seem as "strict" as their church immediately is accorded the "broad-and-wide-way-that-leads-to-death" title. It's the theology of bullies, and is an affront to God's marvelous grace.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />Ken is exactly right. A typical pattern we see in these churches, as Ken alludes to in the last sentence, is a lack of grace. There is no gospel without grace. If a pastor says "grace" from the pulpit, but his life and actions reflect otherwise, is he preaching the gospel? I don't think so. Preaching is much more than the words coming from the pulpit. A pastor preaches and models to his congregants through his words and actions after the service, during the week as he rubs shoulders with congregants and those outside the church. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyone can get caught up into a church like ours. Because so much seemed biblical and accurate from the pulpit, I had difficulty articulating what the real problem was. I share our personal accounts because my husband and I had been Christians over 30 years and we were fooled. I knew something was wrong the first time I walked in the place, but could not identify it. It took leaving the church, getting out of the environment completely to see things clearly, and even then, it was a process. The wool was pulled over our eyes. We drank the Kool-Aid. The after-effects of the Kool-Aid are wretched and painful. We are still dealing with it. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope our story helps to illustrate how false teachers creep in and can get even seasoned Christians fooled. Just because your pastor teaches the hard gospel and uses scripture to back it up, and preaches against false teachers, calling them out, does not mean that your pastor is not a wolf. Scripture says that they creep in unnoticed. Their objective is to devour. Look for the inconsistencies in their words. If they preach grace, is the fruit evident in their lives and words away from the pulpit and in their personal life in dealings with others? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dramaqueennorma/251265727/" style="font-size: small;">Norma Desmond</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> via </span><a href="http://photopin.com/" style="font-size: small;">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/" style="font-size: small;">cc</a>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<br />Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-22424561009527630962012-12-01T11:51:00.001-08:002012-12-01T23:06:59.727-08:00More Background Info on the Movie: UnMarried<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VrGEO0RPW_RpRQWrKntKN9-kafhR_EIqEgSNveMu0x-BrDUfIx7WHRlqsaPckBhmibnP1vSYRhz1Ber2NLIjWIDjbXz7uuOT3ZNsgeQl8IIRSEOZAsu5lDhEhDzE5JrH0Xe8ygwxLr1M/s1600/medium_6593109123.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VrGEO0RPW_RpRQWrKntKN9-kafhR_EIqEgSNveMu0x-BrDUfIx7WHRlqsaPckBhmibnP1vSYRhz1Ber2NLIjWIDjbXz7uuOT3ZNsgeQl8IIRSEOZAsu5lDhEhDzE5JrH0Xe8ygwxLr1M/s320/medium_6593109123.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">There is a slice of heaven on earth when we can relate to one another in the church, regardless of the form our family takes, as individuals equal in worth, significance and value. ~Wade Burleson</span></i></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The other day, I <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/11/unmarried-movie-is-staying-single.html">posted about a new movie</a> coming out called UnMarried. I really appreciated the contributions in the comments. Just as I suspected, the singles who read my blog are not feeling the love at church. They do feel "singled" out. It seems there is an underlying favoritism toward married and families. This is a concern to me. It does not seem very loving.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Blog reader, Serving in Japan reminded me that they used the phrase "prolonged adolescence" in reference to singles in a summary of the film, so I wanted to take another look at what was said. Here is the summary from the <a href="http://www.unmarriedmovie.com/">UnMarried website</a>: </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">They're everywhere. Unmarried, young Christian adults. Some searching and praying for that perfect match from Heaven. While others have all but abandoned the whole idea of marriage altogether.</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">Many are still at home, living a life of prolonged adolescence, with no hopes of marriage in sight. What has caused this drastic change that has reshaped the lives of an entire generation into singleness?</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;">Join us as we search out the biblical answers for what has taken place, and interview theologians, families, young Christians (married and unmarried alike). Be with us as we search the scriptures for truth.</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I did a little more digging to see what/who is behind this movie. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">UnMarried is being promoted by Family Vision Films. I visited the <a href="http://www.familyvisionfilms.com/">Family Vision Films</a> website to read their "About Us" page:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="data" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none; width: 100%px; word-spacing: normal;"><tbody>
<tr style="text-align: left;"><td align="center" class="data" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none; word-spacing: normal;" valign="top" width="100%"><table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" style="width: 98%px;"><tbody>
<tr style="text-align: left;"><td class="data" style="background-color: white; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: none; word-spacing: normal;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"></span></span></span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #666666; line-height: 1.5em;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 539px;"><tbody>
<tr style="text-align: left;"><td style="color: #666666; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none; word-spacing: normal;"><div>
<span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua'; font-size: small;"><em>Family Vision Films</em> began in January of 2011 after a family discussion about the difficulty of finding excellent Christian films all in one place.</span></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #666666; line-height: 1.5em;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 539px;"><tbody>
<tr style="text-align: left;"><td style="color: #666666; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none; word-spacing: normal;"><div>
<span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua'; font-size: small;">We want to bring to you the very best, the "cream of the crop," of God-honoring DVDs. We strive to offer comparable prices and the lowest possible shipping. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #666666; line-height: 1.5em;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 539px;"><tbody>
<tr style="text-align: left;"><td style="color: #666666; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none; word-spacing: normal;"><div>
<span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua'; font-size: small;">As a family with 11 children, we well understand the need to budget our funds wisely!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</blockquote>
<span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">
</span></span></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They also included a picture of their family with eleven children and sign their name Jason and Jennifer Ross. Could this be a full-quiver family? A Patriarchal family? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">I found another website featuring this video. This comes from <a href="http://www.renewinghousewives.com/">Renewing Housewives</a> site whose e-mail address shows a Family Vision's e-mail address - what do you know - Jennifer is the blogger there. Also, the e-mail address for Renewing Housewives is "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; line-height: 25px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">info at familyvisionfilms dot com"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">, so apparently whomever mans the Family Visions e-mail account also is getting the e-mails from people wanting to connect with Renewing Housewives. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">Disclaimer: Just so you know, the e-mail you send to BGBCsurvivors @ gmail dot com does not go through any e-mail account of my husband's. I am the only one who reads that mail. I don't know why I never felt compelled to say that before. I'm feeling an icky feeling even having to mention that. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">Take a look at the "feel" of the website. This is my first clue of "Patriarchy" - the Victorian look. Hmmm - that might be an interesting blog post. I'll make a note of it. I may need to take a break from this post for a sec to get a JA attitude adjustment. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1S-fMGRJQaeo6Dj9bGfgcxGkTmFhlDsM5rjx_7i7zhV2K_0wSTizGbTKD48uxrlIoIsOJUDauoNUPcIHxKj9GbNSG5miliVbEwdrmQGRU2pS8o4uVXb1V-QvBmL6U5Sb6YGhI6v7LTqS/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-01+at+9.50.19+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1S-fMGRJQaeo6Dj9bGfgcxGkTmFhlDsM5rjx_7i7zhV2K_0wSTizGbTKD48uxrlIoIsOJUDauoNUPcIHxKj9GbNSG5miliVbEwdrmQGRU2pS8o4uVXb1V-QvBmL6U5Sb6YGhI6v7LTqS/s640/Screen+shot+2012-12-01+at+9.50.19+AM.png" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is the blurb about the upcoming film UnMarried posted on the Renewing Housewives <a href="http://www.renewinghousewives.com/">website</a>. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well! As we continue to work on our second Homemaking DVD, we have started another one as well. My very visionary husband has been inspired to produce a film that explores our current epidemic of protracted singleness in the church.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;"></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<ul style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Why are there so many unmarried Christians?</span></li>
</span></ul>
<ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">
<li style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What is causing this trend?</span></li>
</span></ul>
<ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">
<li style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Is it even an issue?</span></li>
</span></ul>
<ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">
<li style="font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And what can we do? What should we do?</span></li>
</span></ul>
</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">
</span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e0e0e; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We are still in the production stage of this film. We hope to release in the Spring of 2013. Please pray for us as we seek <span style="color: black;">the biblical answers for what has taken place, interview theologians, families, and young Christians (married and unmarried alike). </span></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">Will someone please tell me what a very visionary husband is? No, never-mind, I don't want to know. We may not need to delve into that wording specifically, but it's important to note that both Kevin Swanson (mentioned in the <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/11/unmarried-movie-is-staying-single.html">previous post</a> on this topic) and the folks at Family Vision/Renewing Housewives are from the Patriarchal mindset. This is a culture that idolizes families and puts great emphasis on raising Christian families for the future generations. They are also "full-quiver" - having as many babies as possible and populating the earth with Christian offspring - little warriors for Christ. Not to say any or all of that is bad, but it is an agenda that consumes every aspect of their lives. (For further reading on patriarchy, I highly recommend Cindy Kunsman's articles. Here's a very helpful <a href="http://undermuchgrace.blogspot.com/2008/12/spiritual-eugenics-of-multigenerational.html">one</a>.)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> It deserves to be said again: </span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">God is far more concerned about the functionality of the individual Christian in the family than the form of the family the individual Christian is in. ~</span>Wade Burleson </span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">When I read or hear strong words against a specific group of people, it makes me wonder if there is a deeper message beneath. Those strong words and generalities (ie, prolonged adolescence, protracted singleness) created a conflict in my mind and I'm not even single. I think what was lacking to me was love and grace. It seems to always come back to that. Some people have in their mind the way things "ought" to be and if you don't fit within their "ought-to-be" mindset, then they feel you need to be called out on it. And many times it becomes such an issue that people suggest that even the "gospel" depends on it. There's that buzz word again. It may not be "gospel" whatsoever, but their message is sometimes cloaked with that "gospel" word to draw you in and convince you that it is the "right" or "gospel" way. If you are a Christian, you can't argue against "gospel", can you? <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Take note: spiritual abusers use this manipulative tactic to control. </span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;">In my first blog post regarding the movie, UnMarried, I also quoted notes from a sermon by Al Mohler. I do not believe Mohler and Swanson are from the same camp, but they are presenting a similar message on this issue of singleness. I don't care for the way they are presenting their messages. There may be some truth to the fact that some singles are wasting time or "floundering around". The twenties is a challenging time in someone's life. They are newly out of high school, trying to figure out their niche. There are other complicating matters in 2012 than in previous decades: we have a very difficult economy, difficulty finding jobs - even for college graduates at the Master level. There are definitely more distractions with technology. But we have to be careful to not generalize and not label a whole group of people just because of their marital status. We can't presume to judge their hearts.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="color: #29303b; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thankfully, not all church leaders and pastors portray singleness in such a derogatory fashion. Last week, I read an article from Pastor Wade Burleson and found it so refreshing. The family units we see in 2012 look quite different than 50 years ago. A</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> couple parts of Wade's article apply to singles and I thought it would be good to provide a healthy balance here. The quotes are from the middle of the article, so please be sure to check out the whole article to get the full context: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: normal;"><a href="http://www.wadeburleson.org/2012/11/focus-on-function-of-your-life-not-form.html">Focus on the Function of Your Life, Not the Form of Your Family</a>.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div style="font-family: Georgia, Verdana, Arial, serif;">
</div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">When church leaders put an emphasis on the form that family units should take, even if it is a well-intentioned effort to encourage families, the emphasis of Scripture is missed. God is not nearly as interested in the <em>form</em> of a family group as He is the <em>functionality</em> of the individual person. Let me prove this:</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>(1). Marriage is temporal, not eternal. </strong></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Granted, there are a few non-traditional western religions (i.e. Mormonism) and a few long-time eastern religions (i.e. Islam) who advocate that marriage, even mulitiple marriages for men, are eternal. That's just not so. Jesus said that in heaven we "will not marry nor be given in marriage" (Mark 12:25).</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Marriage is something that is <em>not</em> eternal. At some point, marriage will end for everyone. If a marriage happens to end here on earth for a Christian, it is possible for that Christian to experience the same fulfillment and joy <em>here and now</em> that he or she will experience eternally. A divorcee who trusts Christ, a graced widow or widower, and even Christian singles who have never married or never will marry have as much personal value, identity and significance as any married Christian. In fact, it might be said that there is an advantage for the Christian who is not married; he or she has the opportunity to understand how to function individually now as Christ intends us to function eternally then.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">So let me be crystal clear. Since marriage is a form of relationship that will one day end for everyone, when there is an overemphasis in church on the form of one's family to the neglect of the individual's function within his or her family, then churches fail in our biblical mission. The <em>function</em> of a Christian within the family never ends, and when properly understood, never fails. So what is our function as Christians? We are to love others in our family unit as Christ has loved us (John 15:12). When we learn to function in this manner we never fail, though the form our family takes comes to an end (I Corinthians 13:8). </span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope my single readers are encouraged by Wade's words. You singles are valuable to the Body of Christ (and to me). You are just as valuable to Christ as me, a married woman and mother or as a pastor or as a child. When we look at the full picture, we are all equals among Christ. I hope you take great comfort in that truth.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"></span></span>
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/abe-bln/6593109123/">f2b1610</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">cc</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-2201227340231646572012-11-29T10:36:00.001-08:002013-01-09T08:29:48.088-08:00UnMarried Movie: Is Staying Single Sabotaging Christianity?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WARNING TO SINGLES: You just might blow a fuse after reading this. Brace yourselves.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday I was reading <a href="http://SGMSurvivors.com/">SGMSurvivors.com</a> blog and read this comment:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="authorname" style="font-weight: bold;">Jenn Grover</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="commentdate" style="color: #666666; display: block; margin-bottom: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">November 28th, 2012 at 11:06 pm</span></span></blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Persona -- don’t even get me started on that line of thinking about singles. CJ got that straight from Mohler. “There is no biblical category for enduring singleness.” That was the BS phrase Mohler used. I guess we should just throw out the entire passage on singleness that Paulw rote for the convenience of Mohler and Mahaney. My brother confronted CJ (I was with him) about letting Mohler speak on the subject after the 1st Lousiville NA conference. CJ admitted that he thought Mohler went overboard and that he and Josh had tried to get Mohler to tone it down the night before but overall he thought for the good of the group (at the expense of older singles) Mohler’s message should be heard. CJ tried to deflect my brother to Mohler, but my brother told CJ Mohler wasn’t responsible for SGM, CJ was. Mahaney would hear none of it.</span></blockquote>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Andy Farmer led a community group for the “older singles” after the session and he spent the whole time doing damage control and from what I understood, the damage control continued at the local churches for quite a while after that.</span></blockquote>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I remember a PDI where singles were exhorted to glorify God as they uniquely could as singles. After CJ became pals with Mohler that message was out the window, marriage and family became idols, and singles became second class citizens in SGM.</span></blockquote>
</div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok, I found this comment disturbing, so I went searching and found the Al Mohler quote. It comes from his sermon entitled <a href="http://www.marriageresourcesforclergy.com/site/Sermons/sermon08.htm">The Mystery of Marriage</a>:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 4px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 4px; font-family: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Embedded in this text are precepts and principles meant for us in our own sexually confused day. I want to make a statement which I know you are likely, at least in your spirit, to want to reject. I want to suggest to you that there is no biblical category of enduring singleness as an aspiration. There is no biblical category of enduring singleness, except for the gift of celibacy for God’s glory in gospel service. Now, this is counterintuitive because we live in a day where we cherish our ability to define our own existence and to choose our own lifestyle. We live in a day of confusion in which marriage has been so marginalized that it is now merely one option among others. In society and even in many churches, enduring singleness is seen as one more lifestyle option. And this is especially true of men, particularly the high number who conveniently self-rationalize that sex before marriage is biblically okay, often with the high-sounding cover that, of course, this is true only as long as it’s in the context of a “loving relationship.”</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I believe the Scripture does not leave that option open to us, except in that extraordinary circumstance of God giving the gift of celibacy to certain individuals for His glory and for gospel service. Paul was very concerned about this. “I say this,” he says in verse 6, “as a concession, not a command. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” Celibacy is a gift, and marriage is a gift. You have to know which is yours.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am addressing this blog post to singes. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Singles!!!!! Evidently you are to blame for problems in the church. Were you aware of that? (ACK JA is about to pull her hair out.) Did you know that you are to blame for the problems in our churches, our education systems, and families? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm seeing a disturbing trend. As I started reading abuse stories, I was struck at how the church in general is treating singles - whether single by choice or by divorce or death. So for years singles have been slipping through the cracks, not having a real place. Singles don't fit in with families, so where do we put them? Oh yea, single women should be babysitting for couples with young children. They have time on their hands because they are single, right? (Don't get me going.)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's funny how when surfing the net, all of a sudden a bunch of similar topics come screaming out at me. I stumbled across a trailer to a new movie: UnMarried. I'm trying to find more background about the movie. The YouTube user is connected with<a href="http://www.familyvisionfilms.com/About-Us_ep_7.html"> Family Vision Films</a>. (I'm wondering if there is a connection with Vision Forum. If someone knows, please let me know.)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Check out this very brief movie trailer. Listen to the intensity of their words. Is this a "gospel" message they are trying to tell us? Do singles have an agenda?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7Nb-0lMevoo" width="640"></iframe>
<br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Below is my attempt to transcribe the entire trailer dialogue:</span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Man #1: This is the fundamental problem of our social systems. It is a fundamental problem with our churches a fundamental problem with education systems and it will yield severe, severe, socio-economic problems in years to come.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Man #2: We’re losing the vision. Wer’e losing the very thing - God began a unique work in the midst of this movement and we’re losing it.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Man #1: If we don’t address this issue, we’re done. There is no future for the family. There’s no future for the church. There is no future for our </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nation.</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></blockquote>
</div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Please someone help me out. Isn't Nancy Leigh DeMoss single? Wasn't Elizabeth Elliot single many years as a missionary after her husband passed away? Maybe someone has become single as a result of their spouse divorcing them or abuse/infidelity or death. Are they responsible for that? Have these ladies caused fundamental problems for our churches and families by their singleness? For some reason only single women are coming to mind - my brain has frozen.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Really? Give me a break.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Singles, please pipe in. Tell me how you are contributing to the troubles in our church. I dare you.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">How does this message promote the gospel? What redeeming message is it sending singles? What am I missing? If I am misunderstanding this message, please let me know. I can handle it. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Do these folks have 1 Corinthians 7 in their Bibles? Oh boy . . . I need to go to choir and unwind my confused brain. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">* * * * * * * Addendum * * * * * </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I did a little more searching today and blogger Karen Campbell at thatmom.com reports that Kevin Swanson is behind this movie. I'm trying to get more information on that. But this confirms my suspicions of connections with Vision Forum. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Kevin Swanson most definitely has an agenda behind this movie and I'll be posting more on that soon. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-32247010037322284112012-11-28T09:24:00.000-08:002012-12-05T16:48:06.978-08:00A Courtship Story: Chryssie Rose<br />
<br />
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Over the past couple months, I've been sharing bits and pieces of the <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/10/homeschool-movement-and-abuse.html">homeschooling movement</a> as it ties in with abuse in churches. I've connected a number of times with Chryssie Rose who reads here and is also a blogger and asked if she could share her courtship story here and she graciously accepted my request. I encourage you to take some time to read some of Chryssie's articles on her blog, <a href="http://beautifuldisarray.wordpress.com/">Beautiful Disarray</a>. She is one of the bloggers who was raised in the homeschooling movement I have been referring to. We will be seeing a growing number of bloggers lilke Chryssie Rose, you can be sure. As these young adults are detaching (<i>escaping</i> might be an apt word, too, it certainly was for my daughter) from their childhood families, they are thinking back through their lives and questioning what they went through. Most young adults go through this process - it is normal. But what is not normal is the amount of residual scars from this upbringing. That is why I want to continue to give these young adults a platform on my blog because this lifestyle of excessive parental control continues in many churches <i>right now</i>. </span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">It is important in this story that you understand Chryssie's family background as it is key to her story. Chryssie lived in a patriarchal home and was the eldest of 9 children. Her father moved around quite a bit because of his job, but in each place in which the family lived, they attended churches influenced by the <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/10/homeschool-movement-and-abuse.html">homeschooling movement</a>: full-quiver, <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/search/label/Patriarchal%20Movement#.ULY5R46ExSU">patriarchy</a>, <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/search/label/Courtship">courtship</a>, and modesty and <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/search/label/Purity%20Teachings#.ULY5aI6ExSU">purity</a> teachings. Chryssie's family eventually ended up at a Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) church in Maryland. SGM churches have a high concentration of homeschool families, so Chyrssie's family fit comfortably there. From what I've heard, SGM may not preach full-quiver lifestyle from the pulpit, but Chyrssie's family would surely find other like-minded full-quiver families there. Courtship, not dating is the expectation at SGM churches. </span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Chryssie's Courtship Story</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA6imTVblRCfhdFxuBwouzkqTL3w5FqJMbAuSZuNCbULrVrwHVnekYdTj_NlvWx5Ip9VA8v2TGi94l2Jf4AnhzwMi4DMn0vYIfBqceNYTdI6yhe8I6y_WIxhsyKl9phPbZIk5PWcvh8wJM/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-11-28+at+8.09.23+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA6imTVblRCfhdFxuBwouzkqTL3w5FqJMbAuSZuNCbULrVrwHVnekYdTj_NlvWx5Ip9VA8v2TGi94l2Jf4AnhzwMi4DMn0vYIfBqceNYTdI6yhe8I6y_WIxhsyKl9phPbZIk5PWcvh8wJM/s320/Screen+shot+2012-11-28+at+8.09.23+AM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">My family had just started going to a new church, and even though I knew a good number of people already, I hadn’t met any guys that I really liked. A friend of my mom’s jokingly told me that I would find the guy I married at this new church. I was adamant I wouldn’t. I honestly had had several different crushes, but I had this expectation, as probably most girls in my situation, that a guy would come to my dad and ask to court me. Then my dad would say yes, and we would walk out a relationship like the ones in all of the courtship books - a sweet, pretty, maybe slightly tear-inducing, love story.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It couldn’t have been further from the reality of what my relationship with my husband ended up looking like.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">When I met the guy who became my husband, I really didn’t expect anything to come out of it. It was in October, over 4 years ago, and even though I felt like God told me to keep an eye on this guy, he wasn’t really attractive to me. I couldn’t marry someone I wasn’t attractive too. I hadn’t expected to be in any sort of relationship right out of high school, nor did I expect to be in any sort of relationship any time soon. My dad used to joke that he wouldn’t let me get married until I was 30. I knew he was joking, but I also knew he meant it too. I wasn’t going to get married unless it was on his time, and his time alone. I really didn’t know what my parents had in mind when it came to relationships for their children. I never had a conversation with my parents about what it would look like for me when I got into a relationship. Being the oldest, my parents had never had to think about that sort of thing, ever.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">A mutual friend introduced this guy to me, and I thought this could be a good friend. I’ll call him Daniel. A few weeks after first meeting, I started getting to know Daniel. He was funny, very quirky, had very different interests than a lot of other guys I knew, and yet, I liked it. I was having to deal with a lot of stress from my family’s situations (you can read more about that on my blog). It was really good to just have a friend I could talk to and not have to talk about my family’s stuff. He began guessing, though, about different things, and I soon realized that I could trust Daniel, and yeah, I kind of liked him now.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">During the first 6 months of our friendship, things escalated quickly. It became clear to me that this guy was worth keeping around, and I definitely liked him. I was about 99.9% positive that he liked me too. Up to this point, we were just friends, and our parents weren’t involved at all. We were graduating from high school, and he had told me several times that he wasn’t going to be in any sort of relationship until he was done with college. That was what his mom wanted him to do, and it seemed like “wisdom” to do so. I didn’t argue with him, but it made it harder when I finally admitted to a close friend that I really, really liked him.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>Conflict with Parents</b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It was about that 6-month mark when his parents realized that we were talking a LOT and becoming very close friends. My mom, I think, was aware of my friendship with him, but I sincerely doubt my dad was aware, especially due to his reaction to the events that transpired next.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Daniel’s parents decided to step in and intervene, and tell him that he needed to cut off all communication with me. He didn’t agree with his parents, but did it anyway. He pulled me aside at church the next day and tearfully told me we couldn’t talk anymore. No emails, texts, chatting, or talking in person and in groups. I was heartbroken, but I knew that this wasn’t the end.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I went home, in tears, and told my mom what happened. She didn’t say anything, but when I told my dad, he gave me an awkward side hug and told me that if my heart was hurting, I did something wrong. I knew right then and there, I wasn’t going to get any support or understanding from my dad in this. We asked both of our parents multiple times to get everyone together so we could come up with guidelines for a friendship, so we could at least be friends. They refused, but did meet at his parent’s home a few times, but each time, came away from the meeting with a very different view on what was supposed to go on. My dad was determined that we wouldn’t be allowed to talk at all. He even told me that there was no need for us to talk and to stop asking if we could. Throughout the entire separation, our feelings for each grew instead of diminishing. We kept asking for the parents to let us talk and to come up with guidelines for us. And they continued to refuse. I got chewed out by my dad if I was even seen around Daniel at church. I went through those months like a ghost. I felt nothing, and it felt like half of my heart had been torn out of me. Yeah, I know that’s cliche, but I’m serious, I felt nothing.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We finally had had it about 6 months after we had been told to stop talking. I called Daniel up one day and asked him bluntly what he felt for me. He immediately told me that he loved me and was 100% sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. That was a breath of fresh air to my ears. We decided that we were going to take things into our own hands because our parents continued to not believe that they needed to do anything and that everything between us was over. We spent about a week coming up with a list of guidelines that we felt our parents would be quite okay with. We even had a couple, who became mentors for us, look it over and help us put it together. We decided that we would then bring it to the parents that coming Sunday, after Daniel officially asked my dad to court me.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom or dad that mad at me after Daniel left my family’s house that Sunday. Both of my parents were raging mad and wanted to know how I could be so disrespectful and dishonoring of them. I still, to this day, do not understand quite what I did wrong. Once again, after our parents calm down, there was no agreement made about us getting to talk. We never got to show our parents our relationship guidelines, and we were treated with much condemnation for having “disrespected and dishonored” our parents. My dad felt very disrespected by Daniel and couldn’t believe he had the gall to come and ask my dad to court me.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We seriously thought that our parents at least would be willing to listen to us. I honestly didn’t expect my dad would be so courteous to Daniel’s face, but then stab him in the back when he wasn’t around to defend himself. My dad’s poor opinion of him was shocking to me, and I couldn’t believe that my dad would be so condescending. Over the next few months we suffered through wanting to talk, knowing we really loved each other, and sneaking moments alone at church, or passing each other thumb drives with songs, letters, or just class schedules on them so I knew what he was up to with school.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In total, Daniel asked my dad 4 times to court me. Every time, going above and beyond, to get my dad’s approval, and yet, my dad would twist Daniel’s words, never give him a clear answer to any of Daniel’s questions, and my dad would brush me off anytime I tried to sit down and ask why we couldn’t be in a relationship. My dad kept telling me that I was making an idol out of this relationship, and I was lusting after Daniel. My mom backed my dad up and neither of my parents seemed to believe that God could speak to me or that I could possibly even love this guy.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">A year and a few months after first having met Daniel, we got the pastors involved, and both of us tried to communicate with our pastor the difficulties we were having with our parents not hearing us out. The pastor kept telling us to just keep working on our individual parental relationships and that was all we could do. Being members at a church that strongly supported Joshua Harris’ courtship books, we didn’t have any say in how our relationship was supposed to happen. It was “wisdom” to let our parents rule our lives.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Over the course of that year, we met with pastors, we met with pastors and our parents, individually, and met with each other trying to figure out how to help our parents hear us and listen to our hearts. We spent hours on the phone talking with our mentors.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>Year 2</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Around the 2nd year of trying to get our relationship off the ground, Daniel decided to take my dad out to a nice restaurant and ask him one last time to court me. One of the recurring concerns my dad had was that we would never be able to get married because we couldn’t support ourselves financially. I actually had a really good job, and Daniel and I had no problem with the fact that I would be providing most of the income. But my dad, even though my mom had paid for him to get through college, didn’t believe that a woman should be the main supporter in the family. I even pointed out that that is exactly what my mom had done, but he told me that I couldn’t take what other people had done and use that as a guideline for myself. So for this last meeting, Daniel and I had come up with a very reasonable budget, and we had had several people look it over for us to make sure we weren’t missing anything substantial. My dad, once again, in a very roundabout way, said no. His reasons were that because Daniel didn’t have a very high paying job, didn’t own a house, wasn’t financially stable, and hadn’t graduated college yet, he would never be allowed to marry me.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">See, my dad has this idea that the only kind of man who is going to be allowed to marry any of his daughters, is the kind of man who has everything, and is well into his 30s. And the fact that this young, college-attending poor guy was willing to bow down to the great and mighty dad was revolting to my dad. How dare he ask when the budget Daniel gave him was so insufficient. I asked my dad why he didn’t believe our budget was good, and the only thing he said was wrong with it was we didn’t have enough money put aside for car repairs. That was it! </span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We finally had had it, and in July secretly got engaged. I even got a gorgeous ring and everything. We kept it a secret for about a week, telling only our mentors. We then decided to tell our parents together. Meaning, he told his parents at the same time I told mine so that neither sets of parents would hear it from each other, but directly from us. Oh, and the clincher is, we were going to tell them that we were going to be getting married in 30 days. We finally told them; I told my parents at home, Daniel called his parents from work. My dad said, no, you’re not engaged, and I argued with him for a few minutes before just leaving it. I said we were engaged and that was that. Then got up and walked away. Daniel’s parents blew up at him and he had siblings calling him, sobbing to him over the phone, asking why he could be so disrespectful of his parents. I ended up going to meet him at his work because he started losing it.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">By this point, we were sick of trying to hide our feelings and actually started going out on actual dates. The first real date we had was about 2 years after we had first met. After we announced our engagement to the parents, our pastors contacted us and wanted to meet with us. In that meeting they told us that respecting and honoring our parents looked like us calling off the engagement. We told them that we didn’t have any problem calling off the getting married in 30 days thing, but nope, we were putting our foot down with the engagement, and we were still engaged. The pastors let it go, but the parents didn’t. They kept accusing us of not listening to God because the pastors had told us to break the engagement and we said no. We have no regrets about getting engaged or putting our foot down with letting our parents guilt-trip us into doing what they want. We knew that the instance we gave in, everything we were working hard to stand by would crumble, and we would not be allowed to see each other again. We were dubbed, unofficially, the bad kids in the singles ministry at church, and rarely did anyone want to know what was going on because in their minds, we were disobeying God because we were “disobeying” our parents and not listening to the pastors.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>Year 3</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Another year went by, and we were still not married, but we were together for everything. Because of my job, I wasn’t home much, and then because of Daniel, I was home even less than I would be if he wasn’t around. My mom kept telling me that dad wasn’t happy that I wasn’t helping her out with my 8 siblings, or helping make dinner or clean the house. I told her there was no way possible that I could do all that. I was gone from 8:30 in the morning till 7 at night, and only got two days free a month. I wanted nothing to do with home life, especially since my dad and I weren’t on speaking terms...again, and mom and I weren’t exactly on the best of terms either. Another half a year went by and we were yet again trying to pick a third wedding date. We finally managed to get both sets of parents and sit down all together to talk. After 3 years of dealing with all of the crap, we finally got to sit down with the parents. But, it was honestly too late for us. We were so done with the way they were dealing with us, we wanted out. Daniel’s dad tried to encourage my dad to rectify his and my relationship, but I knew my dad had no intention of doing so.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Let me say something about my in-laws. They are great parents, and really, if my dad had been open with them about his issues with internet porn addictions and how he deals with my family, I don’t believe that Daniel’s parents would have been so easily manipulated by my dad. They weren’t really involved in the whole relationship process since it was their son asking me out, not a guy asking one of their daughters out. Also, Daniel did not grow up in a legalistic, patriarchal home. His family is surprisingly normal. By the time this group meeting came about, his parents had been filled in completely of my family’s issues and were suddenly 100% for Daniel and I getting married. They finally understand and realized all of the crap we had had to put up with from my dad. They were very sorry for the part they had unknowingly played in making things more difficult for us. Those are the kind of parents I really hope and pray Daniel and I can be some day.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Less than a week after this meeting, my dad and I got together for a coffee date. He told me that prior month he had been seriously considering kicking me out. When asked why, he told me that he was very frustrated that I wasn’t helping my mom out around the house. I told him that I couldn’t. I had a job and I had an obligation to that job to be prompt with my hours and those hours didn’t allow for me to be at home. He didn’t seem to hear me. Two weeks later, he told me that I had two weeks to move out. He was tired of dealing with me, and didn’t have time to deal with me anymore. He also told me that I was a bad influence on my siblings and he wanted me gone.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>The Wedding and Conclusion </b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Three months after that, we got married, with my mom’s support and Daniel’s parents support. Oh, and guess what - the pastors supported us too. We have now been married for a year and a half, and life has been amazing, and we have been doing amazingly well financially even with Daniel still being in school. </span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I look back over our story and see so many things we will never do with our children. The first, and biggest thing would be that we will never force them to obey us at all costs. We want to be there for our children and sincerely listen to them when they are trying to work through tough relationships. We also know that no relationship is the same, and it is our goal to treat our children’s relationships as such. We want to get down to our children’s level, and we both know that because of what we’ve been through, that gives us so much more understanding that we can give to our children. The way my dad treated Daniel and me through our whole pre-marriage relationship is something I never want to see repeated. </span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I never want to question my child’s faith or that they can hear from God. The fact that my dad tried his ultimate best to make me believe that I was being lustful and idolatrous when I sincerely believed I wasn’t has made a huge impact on my faith. It took a long time for me to get over questioning my salvation because of how my dad treated me. It seemed that everything my dad did and said was for his own glory and his own control over me. I talked with my mom later and asked her if how my dad responded had anything to do with him feeling jilted because I hadn’t asked permission to like this guy. She told me it probably had a lot to do with that. My dad craved control and when I denied him the reigns of my relationship with Daniel, he lost it. To this day, I do not talk with my dad and I don’t anticipate resorting any sort of relationship with him until he changes.</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 15.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And that, is a summary of my husband’s and my relationship. Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you all!!</span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-59360204594800871172012-11-25T23:45:00.000-08:002012-11-26T16:37:31.285-08:00Complementarians Speak out about Violence Against Women<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZydIZzg_jSOARWvn6AuLUzPr_GK-_bmOEYbQeaqF59R0sIgqX5A7fg8nkADWgk_1tgj7XyKAGSeI2zD8JeScG4Z8-NBr8nYgqsRbJ0QYVSdmtXFMQRXBLUhRWV1yMtZnKZlS3nXlYeIA0/s1600/medium_3145945968.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZydIZzg_jSOARWvn6AuLUzPr_GK-_bmOEYbQeaqF59R0sIgqX5A7fg8nkADWgk_1tgj7XyKAGSeI2zD8JeScG4Z8-NBr8nYgqsRbJ0QYVSdmtXFMQRXBLUhRWV1yMtZnKZlS3nXlYeIA0/s400/medium_3145945968.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. </span></i></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Dietrich Bonhoeffer</span></i></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today, Novermber 25, was the day designated as the <a href="http://www.un.org/en/events/endviolenceday/">International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women</a>:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div style="color: #003366; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Millions of women and girls around the world are assaulted, beaten, raped, mutilated or even murdered in what constitutes appalling violations of their human rights. [...] We must fundamentally challenge the culture of discrimination that allows violence to continue. On this International Day, I call on all governments to make good on their pledges to end all forms of violence against women and girls in all parts of the world, and I urge all people to support this important goal."</span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div class="credit" style="color: #003366; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0.6em; padding-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon</span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A number of leaders who promote complementarian teachings spoke out against the violence against women. I am glad to see church leaders acknowledging the abuse of women and girls, especially among leaders who promote complementarianism from their pulpits or teachings. If you are unfamiliar with the <a href="https://www.cbmw.org/">Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood</a> and what complementarianism is, as I was a few months ago, here is a statement from their website defining their purpose:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 300; line-height: 24px;">In opposition to the growing movement of feminist egalitarianism, they articulated what is now known as the complementarian position which affirms that men and women are equal in the image of God, but maintain complementary differences in role and function. In the home, men lovingly are to lead their wives and family as women intelligently are to submit to the leadership of their husbands. In the church, while men and women share equally in the blessings of salvation, some governing and teaching roles are restricted to men.</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some of these people are connected with The Gospel Coalition, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and seeing them speak out against these abuses gives me hope that they take abuse of women seriously. A few of the articles even mentioned that sometimes it is necessary to involve civil authority. This seems to be a contrast to the way in which Sovereign Grace Ministries leaders/pastors handled many of the alleged abuse cases we read about in their recent lawsuit. This illustrates quite profoundly that C. J. Mahaney and his pastors/leaders did not respond in a way that many of his peers would respond to alleged abuse. You may recall, in most of the abuse stories we have read about online on survivor blogs, personal stories, and in the Sovereign Grace Ministries lawsuit, civil authorities were not notified. The crime was labeled as "sin" and dealt with in a so-called "biblical" fashion within the church. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"></span></span><br />
<div class="comment-content" id="bc_0_7MC" style="margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reader "An Attorney" offers additional insight for the abused woman: Help the woman get to a shelter with her children, or provide that shelter. Help her identify an attorney to deal with the legal issues. Help her get a protective order and access to the home. In many states, an abused woman can get an order granting her a car (of one or two the couple own), the house or apartment, the furnishings other than his clothes, and the bank accounts (short term, but in the long term, 1/2 of the cash and investments). Help her get and keep custody of the children.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, sans-serif;"><span class="comment-actions secondary-text" id="bc_0_7MN" kind="m" style="font-size: 12px;"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I would like to highlight a few of the articles posted on 11/25. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The first article is by Mary Kassian. </span><br />
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is Mary's bio:</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; line-height: 18px;">Mary is a distinguished professor of Women’s Studies at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky, and is the author of several books including</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">The Feminist Mistake</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; line-height: 18px;">and</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">In My Father’s House</em></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And here are key snippets of Mary's article:</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<h1 class="post-title" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 1.2em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/statement-on-abuse-on-the-day-for-the-elimination-of-violence-against-women/">Statement on Abuse on the Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women</a></span></h1>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Complementarians believe that God created male and female as complementary expressions of His image. We believe that men bear a distinct responsibility to be protectors. When a husband abuses his wife, it’s a heinous betrayal of his responsibility and a grievous sin in the eyes of God.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Statement on Abuse<br />
<em>Adopted by the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood at its meeting in Lisle, Illinois in November, 1994.</em><br />
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We understand abuse to mean the cruel use of power or authority to harm another person emotionally, physically, or sexually.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We are against all forms of physical, sexual and /or verbal abuse.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We believe that the biblical teaching on relationships between men and women does not support, but condemns abuse (Prov. 12:18; Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:18; 1 Tim. 3:3; Titus 1:7-8; 1 Pet. 3:7; 5:3).</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We believe that abuse is sin. It is destructive and evil. Abuse is the hallmark of the devil and is in direct opposition to the purpose of God. Abuse ought not to be tolerated in the Christian community.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We believe that the Christian community is responsible for the well-being of its members. It has a responsibility to lovingly confront abusers and to protect the abused.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We believe that both abusers and the abused are in need of emotional and spiritual healing.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We believe that God extends healing to those who earnestly seek him.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We are confident of the power of God’s healing love to restore relationships fractured by abuse, but we realize that repentance, forgiveness, wholeness, and reconciliation is a process. Both abusers and abused are in need of on-going counseling, support and accountability.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">In instances where abusers are unrepentant and/or unwilling to make significant steps toward change, we believe that the Christian community must respond with firm discipline of the abuser and advocacy, support and protection of the abused.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/themes/wp-prosper-prem/images/bullet.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 16px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">We believe that by the power of God’s Spirit, the Christian community can be an instrument of God’s love and healing for those involved in abusive relationships and an example of wholeness in a fractured, broken world.</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Julie Anne's note: Do you notice something missing in the above? The above statement which is the most current statement from the <a href="https://www.cbmw.org/">Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood</a> (CBMW) very clearly acknowledges abuse. That is good. But they failed to acknowledge that violence against women is a CRIME. There is also no mention of involving authorities when there is abuse. That omission is wrong. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mary's article continues:</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I emailed Wayne Grudem earlier this week to ask what he would like to communicate to complementarian pastors on this Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. This is what he said:</span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeeeee; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; color: #666666; display: block; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 20px; margin-right: 20px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-top: 15px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I strongly deplore any abuse of wives by their husbands and I believe the Bible teaches clearly against it. When pastors learn about abuse occurring in a home in their congregation, they have an obligation before God to seek to bring an immediate end to it, through direct personal conversation with the abuser, support of the abused, professional counselling, through means such as church discipline, protective personal intervention in dangerous situations, using law enforcement and other legal pressures, extensive prayer, and, if necessary, legal separation. Pastors also need to encourage their church members and attenders to tell someone in church leadership if abuse is occurring, so that appropriate means can be brought to bring an immediate end to it. Nobody in a leadership role in CBMW thinks that abuse within a marriage is justified by the biblical teachings about husbands and wives.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wayne Grudem, Ph.D., Research Professor, Phoenix Seminary, and co-founder and past president of CBMW</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm very pleased to read Wayne Grudem's response above. Notice he</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>does</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">discuss using law enforcement and also mentions legal separation. Finally! Someone needs to change CBMW's statement on abuse to incorporate utilizing legal separation and notifying law enforcement when suspected illegal activity has taken place. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dr. Russell Moore also left a public response on his <a href="http://www.russellmoore.com/2012/11/25/the-church-violence-against-women/">blog</a>. He is the Chairman of the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Here is his <a href="http://www.russellmoore.com/about/">bio</a>:</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', Constantia, 'Book Antiqua', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Russell D. Moore is Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice President for Academic Administration at <a href="http://www.sbts.edu/" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #315283; font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary</a>, where he also serves as Professor of Christian Theology and Ethics.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was very pleased with Russell's strong words against spousal abuse. He <i>does</i> mention getting the law involved, if necessary. The whole article is very good, please take the time to read it. I underlined the references of reporting to legal authorities. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', Constantia, 'Book Antiqua', sans-serif; line-height: 28px;"><a href="http://www.russellmoore.com/2012/11/25/the-church-violence-against-women/">The Church & Violence Against Women</a></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333233; font-size: 16px;">Male violence against women is a real problem in our culture, one the church must address. Our responsibility here is not simply at the <u>level of social justice</u> but at the level of ecclesical justice as well.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"></span></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-indent: 25px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="font: 16.0px Courier; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></span></span></div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333233; font-size: 16px;">“A man who hits you has surrendered his headship, and that is the business both of the civil state in <u>enacting public justice</u> and of this church in enacting church discipline.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"></span></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-indent: 25px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="font: 16.0px Courier; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></span></span></div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;">
</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">"In the public arena, <u>Christians as citizens should be the most insistent on legal protections for women</u>. We should oppose a therapeutic redefinition of wife abuse as merely a psychological condition. <u>And we should call on the powers-that-be to prosecute abusers of women and children in ways that will deter others and make clear society’s repugnance at such abuse</u>.</span> "</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">"Whatever our views on specific economic policies, we must recognize that much economic hardship of women in our age is the result of men who abandon their commitments. We should eschew obnoxious “welfare queen” rhetoric and work with others of goodwill to seek economic and social measures to provide a safety net for single mothers and abused women in jeopardy. We should join with others, including secular feminists, in<u> seeking legal protections against such manifestations of a rape culture as sexual harassment, prostitution, and sex slavery</u>."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-indent: 25px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="font: 16.0px Courier; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 15px;">
</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Owen Strachan is one more public leader who responded to the occasion. Owen is Assistant Professor of Christian Theology and Church History at Boyce College in Louisville, Kentucky and also teaches at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Additionally, he is a writer for the Gospel Coalition.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In Owen Strachan's article, he very succinctly identifies himself as a complementarian, describing what he perceives as his role as husband and how he would handle a situation of spousal abuse. He writes a hypothetical letter to Bob, an abusive husband. I will highlight a few paragraphs, but please read the article. You can see that he, even as a complementarian, has very high regard for the protection and care of wives. I enjoyed his Dear Bob letter very much. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thoughtlife/2012/11/why-abusive-men-repudiate-true-manhood-letter-to-an-abusive-husband/">Why Abusive Men Repudiate True Manhood: Letter to an Abusive Husband</a></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px;">Dear Bob:</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px;">It has come to my attention that you are abusing your wife verbally and physically. Knowing this, I am trying not to tremble as I write. There is nothing worse than the strong mistreating the weak.</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px;">Please know this: your abuse of your wife in the name of Christian leadership is a direct repudiation of true manhood. You think that the expulsive exercise of your strength is warranted by Scripture. You think that it shows that you are a man. Actually, it shows your depravity.</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px;">
</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Owen then discusses the complementarian view using scripture in Ephesians to support his views. We then read his views of Bob's behaviors in light of his interpretation of scripture. These are strong words showing he understands abuse as abuse, not as accepted behavior for a "man of God". </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Your present pattern, Bob, looks like Satanic headship. You are attacking and tearing down. The biblical pattern is Christic headship, sacrificial, others-centered, offered in order that others might flourish and thrive. If you do not cease your ways, the elders of your church will “deliver [you] to Satan for the destruction of the flesh” (1 Cor. 5:6). If you are bent on destroying your loved ones, you will face the prospect of a life outside the church, which places the soul in danger of eternal destruction if gospel repentance does not happen.</span> </blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And like Wayne Grudem, and Russell Moore, Alex also mentions bringing civil authorities into the picture in this paragraph (my underlines):</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Repent of your sin. It is a stench in God’s nostrils. Were it not for your worth as an image-bearer, I would find it difficult not to threaten harm to you myself, and to bring many men with me. As things stand, if you continue your pattern of abuse, I will indeed bring men with me, and we will rescue your wife and family, and we will not allow you to harm them. <u>We will bring the full force of the law crashing down upon you.</u> We are men of God; we are not weak; we are leaders and protectors of wives and children. The Lord has saved us from our own wickedness and transformed us to be good to those he has given us. As men of God, we are not scared of you. We will surely stand up to you. We urge you to stop your abuse, repent of your sin, and leave the pattern of destruction you have begun.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #40464b; font-family: Georgia, 'Trebuchet MS', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can you imagine if this would have been the action taken in response to alleged abuse stories we have heard from Sovereign Grace Ministires? Whoa Nellie!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And lastly, on the Gospel Coalition website, there is an article by Matt Smethurst entitled,</span><span style="font: 16.0px Times; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> <a href="http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/11/25/dont-mess-with-her-man/?comments#comments%23comment-43751"><span style="font: 16.0px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0.0px color: #001ba6; text-decoration: underline;">Don't Mess With Her, Man</span></a></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">. This article acknowledges the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and discusses male authoritarianism listing many Bible verses on "the sort of men who would ever dare harm their brides." The verses are good, but again, I found the article lacking on what to do if there is abuse taking place. There was no mention of contacting civil authorities if crimes were committed. The verses discussed how women should be treated and behavior that God does not like. They are missing the boat when they fail to address practical applications such as reporting to authorities. I left a comment on the website and we'll see if they allow it to remain. It wouldn't be the first time I've had a comment removed from The Gospel Coalition website (hmm, wonder why?).</span></span></div>
<div style="font: 16.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMDM4VJWA6Bu83MG1HsGlL1rCMjn6Rk4niOHVN3VTohY6ltoSV8wD9CyRIWbe2SasItA9sdvftPvdahhAGg-rIEJDyCHmArcMGCsnr-QuK_n3qta1HdDazqpRvEsunR2QgGRSpRgsEo_xw/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-11-25+at+2.52.32+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMDM4VJWA6Bu83MG1HsGlL1rCMjn6Rk4niOHVN3VTohY6ltoSV8wD9CyRIWbe2SasItA9sdvftPvdahhAGg-rIEJDyCHmArcMGCsnr-QuK_n3qta1HdDazqpRvEsunR2QgGRSpRgsEo_xw/s640/Screen+shot+2012-11-25+at+2.52.32+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These public posts encourage me to some extent because they are identifying real abuse issues, instead of ignoring them. Yet I remain puzzled. And I think a lot of that puzzlement is due to what I see behind the scenes. It makes me curious to know if these leaders are just using the right words on this special day to highlight abuse or if they will really put their money where their mouth is and bring harsh action upon abusers? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then my mind drifts to stories we've read of church leaders who have covered up alleged abuse (such as Sovereign Grace Ministries, Calvary Chapel, etc). What if your close friend was a leader of a church who covered up abuse and failed to report alleged abuse to authorities? How would you handle that situation? Do you have an obligation to say something - - - even if your friend's church was out of your "jurisdiction"? </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think you do. If you don't say anything, how many more victims will there be? </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Addendum: Pastor Jeff Crippen's <a href="http://cryingoutforjustice.wordpress.com/2012/11/26/abuse-and-divorce-wayne-grudem-and-the-council-for-biblical-manhood-and-womanhood-still-say-no/">blog post today</a> caught something that I missed in Wayne Grudem's comment above. Here are a couple key thoughts:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Notice once again the glaring absence of any affirmation that divorce is a biblical means of dealing with abuse. Abuse victims/survivors will quickly understand that this statement dooms victims to a lifetime of working to “restore relationships”, to “involvement in a process of reconciliation,” of “ongoing counsel and support,” but divorce? Forget it. Remarriage? Forget it. Abusers love this sort of talk. If the victim will just believe God and trust Him and keep doing all she can, God can bring her abuser to repentance and they can live happily ever after. That is a fairy tale. [Also notice that they tell the victims that they need counseling too. For what? PTSD? That would be fine. But I suspect this "counseling" is going to me more of the ilk of "you aren't perfect either, you know."]</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
As long as any theologian, author, or organization refuses to tell victims that they can divorce their abuser because the abuser has already treacherously divorced them by ongoing, hard-hearted violation of the marriage covenant, then my ears are deaf to everything else they have to say. That is too bad, because I do think that Grudem and CBMW have done some good and have published some excellent books. I just cannot hear them though as long as they continue to sentence abuse victims to ongoing bondage. [I refuse to use the ESV Study Bible for this reason. Grudem's notes in the back forbid divorce for abuse].</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reader "Sad" notified me in the comments of another article from Jonathan Leeman of 9Marks: <a href="http://www.9marks.org/blog/violence-against-women-and-church-discipline">Violence against Women and Church Discipline</a>:</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #2e2e2e; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">As in other cases of clear and unrepentant sin, <strong style="color: #1f2a5b; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;">abuse can and often should be grounds for excommunication from the church</strong>. Rather than simply explain this, I thought it might be helpful to offer a sample of the kind of church discipline letter our church will send. (This particular letter does not refer to an actual situation.) No doubt, a letter like the following presumes that the elders have already been working with the individual, and for one reason or another they determine that the man's profession of faith is no longer credible by virtue of his actions.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Following up on Jeff Crippen's thoughts above, I wonder if Jonathan Leeman's church (or any of the other blog authors for that matter) would consider "divorce" as an option? If the husband fails to repent and change his ways, is the wife to remain legally separated for the rest of her days? </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/devastar/3145945968/">devastar</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 300; line-height: 24px;"></span>Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-29567860533304786012012-11-25T20:02:00.000-08:002012-11-25T21:45:05.466-08:00Judge Refuses to Drop Charges in Oklahoma Failure to Report Case<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of my big pet peeves is pastors or church leaders who fail to report cases of suspected abuse to civil authorities. I found an update on a case mentioned earlier in this post: </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;"><a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/10/mandatory-reporting-laws-for-clergy.html#.ULLnNY6ExSU">Mandatory Reporting Laws for Clergy: Loopholes for Abuse</a></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is the new update:</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://global.christianpost.com/news/okla-judge-refuses-to-drop-child-abuse-charges-against-victory-christian-center-85286/#qXi45EDDyQf8VJho.99">Okla. Judge Refuses to Drop Child Abuse Charges Against Victory Christian Center</a></span></blockquote>
<div id="article" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: auto;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"></span><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Two youth pastors from the Victory Christian Center megachurch in Tulsa, Okla., failed in their attempt to convince a district judge to drop the charges against them, after they were accused of failing to notify police in a timely manner of child abuse that happened on church property.</span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">
</span>
<div style="font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">
<div style="font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 20.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">John and Charica Daugherty, the son and daughter-in-law of Victory Christian Center senior pastor Sharon Daugherty, appeared in court on Monday, where Assistant District Attorney Kali Strain explained that Special Judge Sarah Smith denied the defense's motion to dismiss the charges.</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 20.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The Daughertys are among five employees charged with taking over two weeks to report the rape of a 13-year-old girl in August, which occurred inside a building owned by the church. The youth pastors have defended themselves by saying that they reported the crime to Human Services, and are not responsible for the fact that police did not get the details until two weeks later.</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 20.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The District Court has insisted, however, that state laws are clear and that the pastors knew they should have acted sooner, but didn't. This means that they are due back in court on Dec. 12, along with the three other church employees who also failed to report the crime on time. Tulsa World <a href="http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20121120_11_A1_CUTLIN143933"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px color: #001ba6; text-decoration: underline;">reports</span></a> that the other defendants in the case include Victory Christian Center staff members Paul Howard Willemstein, the associate youth pastor; Anna Alisa George, the high school outreach program director; and Harold Frank Sullivan, the former human resources director.</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 20.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Jason Robertson, the Daughertys' attorney, told <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/article/Okla-judge-refuses-to-drop-sex-abuse-case-charges-4051066.php"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px color: #001ba6; text-decoration: underline;">the San Francisco Chronicle</span></a> that although they hoped Judge Smith would have consider granting the dismissal, her decision is not entirely surprising.</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 20.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">"Motions to dismiss are rarely granted in a criminal case," Robertson said.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
</span></blockquote>
I hope my former pastor is reading this as well as any other pastors or church leaders who think they might want to use loopholes to fail to report crimes. This is not good news for people involved in the SGM lawsuit. People do not look kindly on this practice anymore. It's time to care for and defend victims of abuse appropriately. Amen.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-83971499943097224392012-11-24T21:55:00.000-08:002012-11-24T21:56:52.936-08:00Courtship: The Background and Negative Outcomes<div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Soon I will begin posting personal courtship stories, so it might be helpful to get a little background of the history of courtship. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The courtship model is unquestionably a part of the culture of many conservative churches</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, conservative Christian groups, and promoted by leaders in the homeschooling community. Some groups who have embraced the courtship model are: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">, Doug Wilson, <a href="http://www.ncfic.org/">Family Integrated Churches</a> (such as Household of Faith Community Churches), ATI and Institute in Basic Life Principles by Bill Gothard, Steve and Terri Maxwell of <a href="http://Titus2.com/">Titus2.com</a>, Mike and Debi Pearl of <a href="http://nogreaterjoy.org/">No Greater Joy</a>, <a href="http://www.visionforum.com/">Vision Forum</a> - Doug Phillips, etc. The Maxwells and Pearls are families who homeschool, full-quiver, speakers, authors, and promote courtship. I'm sure there are more.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bill Gothard taught a form of courtship in the 70s. I remember reading documents and listening to <a href="http://boldchristianliving.com/articles/youthful-romance/">Jonathan Lindvall</a> cassette tapes on courtship in the early 90s called Youthful Romance. I've read that Jonathan got his material from <a href="http://iblp.org/iblp/about/billgothard/">Bill Gothard</a> who founded Institute in Basic Life Principles.</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In 1997, Senior Pastor Josh Harris, the pastor at SGM's flagship church, Covenant Life Church, wrote a very popular book called, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Kissed-Dating-Goodbye-Joshua-Harris/dp/1590521358/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352480303&sr=8-1&keywords=i+kissed+dating+goodbye">I Kissed Dating Goodbye."</a> when he was only 21 years old. This book underscored what many church and homeschool leaders were saying all along, that modern dating is not healthy and recommended an alternative to recreational dating, courtship. Josh had been in the limelight from an early age because his father, homeschool pioneer and pillar, Gregg Harris, took him on his speaking tours at homeschool conventions from state to state. I remember seeing Josh manning his father's book table at homeschooling conferences. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Josh Harris was already popular among homeschoolers because of the magazine, New Attitude, he published from 1994-1997. The magazine's readership was focused on homeschooled teens. When Harrris published <u>I Kissed Dating Goodbye</u> in '97, it was well-received in homeschooling circles, but also ventured into mainstream Christianity. <u>I Kissed Dating Goodbye</u> highlighted the negative aspects of recreational dating practices and provided a seemingly healthier and new alternative: courtship. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="border-collapse: collapse; clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJH1LyFgId_leRmnxEP5VBP25DhEHxhRqXPwkRv8RDp8qOfHkLQ-ABcIZG2ly6243Vs3dUfi-NIDcJutwoD9_QC2yjVB1nyhJapRT5TL8LoUgpUJfV4JZghXygBojfCzFpt7aYgft546P1/s1600/i-kissed-dating-goodbye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJH1LyFgId_leRmnxEP5VBP25DhEHxhRqXPwkRv8RDp8qOfHkLQ-ABcIZG2ly6243Vs3dUfi-NIDcJutwoD9_QC2yjVB1nyhJapRT5TL8LoUgpUJfV4JZghXygBojfCzFpt7aYgft546P1/s320/i-kissed-dating-goodbye.jpg" width="198" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="border-collapse: collapse; clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="border-collapse: collapse; clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #6b6b6b; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 21px;">I was 21-years old when I wrote my story of giving up the dating game in order to focus on serving God. The hope behind it was that other singles would be helped by some of the lessons I was learning. Most people have an opinion about "that book about not dating." Some love it; others despise it. I'd encourage you not to assume you know what it says without having read it. Many readers who start out critics of <em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I Kissed Dating Goodbye</em> are surprised to learn that the core message of the book isn't about "dating," but living your life for God. ~Josh Harris</span></blockquote>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/IVJqlaNJRnw" width="480"></iframe><br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
Years later, Josh Harris wrote <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Meets-Girl-Hello-Courtship/dp/1590521676/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1353384225&sr=8-2&keywords=i+kissed+dating+goodbye">Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship</a>. </div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEf-Gt5JQ2y3g8N371cnWoRZGRgB7wpVAiFkVp635he65u5Q1QGAD1bKZRXlIpD1L-s92rdBCi662ZA3LeYMqHKRzOE_YXIgOpZmF8M2njtPpi4GCO3AEmwCSAu_8nAxK5OVoTCW_Q_2_0/s1600/boymeetsgirl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEf-Gt5JQ2y3g8N371cnWoRZGRgB7wpVAiFkVp635he65u5Q1QGAD1bKZRXlIpD1L-s92rdBCi662ZA3LeYMqHKRzOE_YXIgOpZmF8M2njtPpi4GCO3AEmwCSAu_8nAxK5OVoTCW_Q_2_0/s320/boymeetsgirl.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is the description from Amazon:</span></div>
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black;"><b>Purpose Driven Romance</b> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black;">The last thing singles want is more rules. But if you’re looking for an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse, Joshua Harris delivers an appealing one. A compelling new foreword, an all-new “8 Great Courtship Conversations” section, and updated material throughout makes this five-year revision of the original <i>Boy Meets Girl</i> a must-have! Harris illustrates how biblical courtship—a healthy, joyous alternative to recreational dating—worked for him and his wife. <i>Boy Meets Girl</i> presents an inspiring, practical example for readers wanting to pursue the possibility of marriage with someone they may be serious about. </span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<div style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The summaries of these books come across as fairly decent, in fact, a lot of it still appeals to me today. However, there has been a culture that has evolved since these books were published - not just at Sovereign Grace churches where Harris pastors, but throughout the interconnectivity of churches, homeschool groups, conferences, the internet, etc. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Josh Harris received a lot of feedback on both books, including negative feedback, and he tried to address those issues in an attempt to clear things up in a sermon called, Courtship Smourtship which can still be found <a href="http://www.covlife.org/resources/series/Courtship+Shmourtship">here</a>.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I found an old comment by Kris (blog moderator from SGMSurivvors.com) from April of 2008 on the <a href="http://ikdg.wordpress.com/">I Kissed Dating Goodbye</a> blog. I realize this is an old comment, but it helps to illustrate how this courtship concept caught on and developed a life of its own in a negative way.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><cite style="font-style: normal; text-decoration: none;"><a class="url" href="http://www.sgmsurvivors.com/" rel="external nofollow" style="color: #0066cc; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none;">Kris</a></cite></span> Says: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><small class="commentmetadata" style="color: #777777; display: block; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://ikdg.wordpress.com/#comment-184" style="color: #0066cc; text-decoration: none;" title="">April 30, 2008 at 9:43 pm</a></small></span><a class="comment-reply-link" href="http://ikdg.wordpress.com/?replytocom=184#respond" style="color: #0066cc; text-decoration: none;"><br /></a>It was my observation at our SGM church that the attitudes Josh Harris preached against in “Courtship Smourtship” were alive and well…and this was at least 2 years after he preached that sermon. Actually, “alive and well” wouldn’t do it justice. The paranoia about male-female interactions and the idea that “guarding one’s heart” meant running the other direction in the face of ANY sort of attraction – those attitudes were stronger and more pervasive than ever at the SG church we attended.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don’t think any of the folks knew of Harris’ sermon. Or, if they had, by that time they’d taken his ideas and run with them to such an extent that they’d turned the courtship system into some sort of foolproof immorality-and-heartbreak-prevention-system.</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Honestly, I believe that at our SG church, anyway, courtship was more about parents who wanted to control every aspect of their children’s lives than it was about actual purity. Purity may have been one of these parents’ well-intentioned goals for their kids, but purity can be accomplished in other ways, like equipping young adults to MAKE GOOD DECISIONS, rather than setting up a bunch of stringent rules for their kids to follow…and a weird artificial process for finding a mate.</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I think what disgusted me the most was to watch people’s responses to the one successful courtship at our church that had actually ended in marriage. Everybody thought that this couple had lived out the absolute ideal. Yet (and granted, I could be wrong, as I did not know this girl that well) I got the distinct feeling, from my position as an observer, that the girl in this couple was woefully ill-prepared for marriage to the young man. She seemed very stiff and uncomfortable whenever the two of them were together in public. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her, to go from living with her parents (she was about 20, had never been to college and had never held a real job aside from giving piano lessons to some of the other kids from church) to – within a period of about 3 months – having gone through a whirlwind courtship with someone she’d hardly spent any time alone with, to being engaged, to getting married to him.</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I should probably quit this rant. But courtship and the legalistic excesses that I witnessed are subjects that really get me hot under the collar, almost more than anything else within SGM. There are extremes that NOBODY could ever address in a single sermon.</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span>
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span>
<br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is a response to Kris' comment - - someone's personal experience of this courtship, purity, father-owning-daughter's-heart culture. Read how church leaders used their authority in ways that were really out of line. It's sad.</span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><cite style="font-style: normal; text-decoration: none;">Fundamentalism Survivor</cite> Says: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><small class="commentmetadata" style="color: #777777; display: block; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://ikdg.wordpress.com/#comment-1627" style="color: #0066cc; text-decoration: none;" title="">March 24, 2011 at 6:14 pm</a></small></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">That’s bad. But it gets carried to even greater extremes in other churches, where people’s paranoia and subjective interpretations of the book are involved.</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The doctrines of this man (Josh Harris), difficult enough in themselves, provide a ready platform for fundamentalist hypocrisy in the church. Fanatical proponents of “Kissed Dating Goodbye” methodology ultimately trashed my reputation in my old church (it was found out I “went too far” with my ex-fiance). They stalked around with lists of requirements for their future wife/husband. The sexes avoided each other and were embittered. Elders/deacons kids got a lot more freedom even though they weren’t above messing around at times. The singles had a gossip network by which others were “warned” as to who was “marriage material” and who was NOT. If you didn’t make the lucky few, people were distantly polite & emotionally absent in the youth group; you didn’t have a chance at making friends.</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Josh, I don’t believe you intended for extremes to happen. But you have muddied the pond for a couple of generations now. Many of us are so cynical that we have resigned ourselves to singleness. Some of us had meaningful, pure relationships with Christian sisters that have been destroyed because of confusion on topics like “emotional purity” (we don’t want to cheat on our future spouses by opening up). You are in a position of great recognition and authority. You have the responsibility to set a better example…”</span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"></span>
<br />
<ul class="children"><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span></ul>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: #333333;">
</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who is to blame for all of these legalistic excesses? I cannot be sure. It seems Josh has tried to clear up some misunderstandings, but there is definitely something still amiss in this "courtship culture". I personally don't think Josh Harris is to blame for what has occurred in the homeschool movement and courtship culture, but the books played a part. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I believe the problem occurred when pastors, leaders, and fathers went above and beyond what is normal involvement in the lives of their congregants and used their power to control and shame their flock/adult children. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-42304481677400238492012-11-23T12:09:00.000-08:002012-11-23T12:39:12.083-08:00Hannah's Purity Ring Story<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjq52EP4kwbTNWTWLtiySZeTkDJHeBLpti2oPRc2CBWE1XzJP6W69ZPmmtKIFFfLuaW_ap6-qczWuV1ZgWFWdYmNWU4Y5rQSMx6HCVBAdN6nvlzgnlEaopNGkfiT-e1iECQAZX5ZYZbLCf/s1600/medium_3944865367.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjq52EP4kwbTNWTWLtiySZeTkDJHeBLpti2oPRc2CBWE1XzJP6W69ZPmmtKIFFfLuaW_ap6-qczWuV1ZgWFWdYmNWU4Y5rQSMx6HCVBAdN6nvlzgnlEaopNGkfiT-e1iECQAZX5ZYZbLCf/s320/medium_3944865367.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Verdana; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">After posting the article, <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/11/fathers-and-daughters-who-owns.html#.UK_F-Y6ExSU"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px color: #001ba6; text-decoration: underline;">Fathers and Daughters: Who Owns a Daughter's Heart?</span></a></span>, it opened up a can of worms for Hannah, my 25-year old daughter. <span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> For new readers, she's my daughter who was also named in the defamation lawsuit by our former pastor (you can read her story from her perspective: </span><span style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; letter-spacing: 0px;"> <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/08/hannahs-personal-story-in-her-own-words.html"><span style="font: 16.0px 'Trebuchet MS'; letter-spacing: 0.0px color: #001ba6; text-decoration: underline;">Hannah's Personal Story in Her Own Words</span></a></span><span style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Trebuchet MS';"> and from my perspective: <a href="http://bgbcsurvivors.blogspot.com/2012/05/in-honor-of-hannah.html"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px color: #001ba6; text-decoration: underline;">In Honor of Hannah</span></a></span><span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Trebuchet MS';">)</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">. She abruptly left our home at the age of 21 because she couldn't deal with the spiritual abuse at our former church any longer and knew we would make her go to church if she remained at home - it’s a long and sad story, my relationship with Hannah is great now. She mentioned that the video clip from the movie, Courageous made her get teary-eyed. I asked if she had anything she might like to share about her purity ring experience.</span></span></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before we get to Hannah's thoughts, she refers to the "umbrella" philosophy in her story. This is a teaching that came from Bill Gothard - a man whose teachings have strongly influenced the homeschooling movement (and our family): </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<h1 style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Palatino, Times, serif; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0.1em;">
<a href="http://billgothard.com/teaching/authority"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Protection Under Authority</span></a></h1>
<div class="region region-content" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Palatino, Times, serif;">
<div class="block block-system" id="block-system-main">
<div class="content">
<div about="/teaching/authority" class="ds-1col node node-page view-mode-full clearfix" typeof="foaf:Document">
<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden">
<div class="field-items">
<div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded">
<div style="clear: none; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
The use of an umbrella to symbolize protection is commonly understood and accepted. In the insurance industry, an overall coverage of protection is referred to as an “umbrella policy.” In the Bible, similar symbols teach the concepts of provision, protection, headship, and leadership.</div>
<div style="clear: none; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
The use of this symbol in relation to the family is to give special encouragement to fathers to protect, instruct, lead, and provide for their wives, sons, and daughters. It is also to remind the family that no father is perfect, but as they pray for him and encourage him, they can increase his ability and motivation to fulfill his God-given responsibilities.</div>
<div style="clear: none; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
In addition to the father, Scripture has other umbrella analogies: The cloud of protection that God gave to Israel during their forty years in the wilderness <span class="reference">(Exodus 13:21–22)</span>, the shadow of God’s hand over His people <span class="reference">(Isaiah 51:15–16)</span>, <span class="verse">“the shadow of the Almighty”</span> <span class="reference">(Psalm 91:1)</span>, and the wings of a mother hen <span class="reference">(Matthew 23:37)</span>.</div>
<div style="clear: none; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Understanding the umbrella concept increases our love for God and assures us of His love, protection, and provision for us as His children.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok, I just yanked <u>Research in Principles of Life Basic Seminar Textbook</u> off the bookshelf. I have been tempted to throw this book away many times, but decided to keep it for blogging material - HA! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg2bnuuL6wqHaTubV24_Pn5KqIIMzGzy2MFssqskkq03tF4tiNVHk9R3ZT6Z0K7f8BxQ8rOb7Km3XGhRyoCXXqP2PgUyLETIA0WXP_90bndEK1eD7BZ5Eq4BWvtFAGk8AYcSgG5sx7LN1y/s1600/photo-12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg2bnuuL6wqHaTubV24_Pn5KqIIMzGzy2MFssqskkq03tF4tiNVHk9R3ZT6Z0K7f8BxQ8rOb7Km3XGhRyoCXXqP2PgUyLETIA0WXP_90bndEK1eD7BZ5Eq4BWvtFAGk8AYcSgG5sx7LN1y/s320/photo-12.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is the workbook from Gothard's Basic Seminar which was very popular over the years, not only in homeschooling circles, but among Christians in general. It was dusty and I haven't opened it since I heard the teaching around 18 years ago. This should give some ideas about the teachings of authorities and young adults. The expectation is for daughters to remain at home until dad can pass her off to her new authority - her new husband. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<u>"When does the parental "chain of responsibility" end?</u></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The parental "chain of responsibility" ends when they delegate that authority to someone else - as in marriage or the ministry. However, even before this, a certain measure of independence should be earned by learning to discern and obey the wishes of parents. When they are confident that we will do what they would do in a given situation, they will give more freedom to make decisions.</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<u>What if I'm an adult and still single?</u></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
By this time, we should have earned the position of being in a "chain of counsel." If we haven't, there must be some serious deficiencies in our attitudes or understanding.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Whatever our age, however, we are instructed in Scripture to always be responsive to our parents' counsel: "Hearken unto they father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old." Proverbs 23:22</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<u>What if I'm single and living in an apartment?</u></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
First, be very sure that God has led you to move away from your parents, and that they were fully in harmony with the move. When God designed the family structure, He purposed that each one in the family meet basic needs for others - especially social needs. When a single person leaves his family apart from God's direction, he exposes himself to many unnecessary temptations to wrongly fulfill these social needs. If your parents are in full harmony with your move to another location, it is important to maintain good lines of communication with them in order to receive counsel from them.</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<u>What if I don't respect the authority over me?</u></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
It is important that we learn how to distinguish between an authority's position under God and his human personality. We are to reverence his position, although at the same time we may be very aware of personality deficiencies.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
To say that we reject an authority because we don't respect him would be as much in error as tearing up a speeding ticket because we didn't like the attitude of the arresting officer. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you'd like to read more stories from people who have gone through years of Gothard's teachings, be sure to check out <a href="http://www.recoveringgrace.org/">Recovering Grace</a> website, "a Gothard generation shines light on the teachings of IBLP and ATI." By the way, ATI is the same program that the <a href="http://www.duggarfamily.com/">Duggard</a> family uses for teaching their children - the Duggards are the famous quiver-full family on TLC television with 19 kids. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is Hannah's purity ring story. There are no real bells and whistles, but it's interesting to read her perspective now - nearly a decade later.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">For my sixteenth birthday, my parent's gave me a purity ring. I was taken to an up-scale restaurant and given a little box with the gold and gem ring. I vaguely remember the little speech that went with the ring. "This symbolizes a covenant..." They discussed the "umbrella" philosophy they'd taught me - that I was under my father's protection until he was able to hand the "umbrella" of protection and love to my husband.</span> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">I remember having mixed feelings about the entire concept. My mother recently reminded me that I loved reading courtship books - I did, but whether it was for the love story, the romance, or because I believed in the courtship model, I couldn't tell you. I've had reservations about the concept.</span> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;">I've always loved working on my career, and had plans to go to school and graduate. I didn't know when I'd want to marry a man, because school and work were very important to me. I know I was not quite comfortable with thinking about living with my parents, under my father's "umbrella" until at least my mid-twenties and had finished school because I thought that if I married before I finished school, I would never finish because my husband and having babies would take precedence.</span> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sadly, I was never able to bring myself to discuss my concerns about the purity ring, the covenant it symbolized, and my ideas for my life with my parents. I took the ring that day because I couldn't not take it, I was in a public place, I was trained not to disagree with my parents, I didn't want to spoil the mood, etc. Once I moved out, I realized I had major issues with the whole concept, and since have not worn the ring on my ring finger. I still like it as a piece of jewelry, but that's all it is to me.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">From my perspective looking back, we were trying something different than how we were raised to hopefully avoid some of the pitfalls we had experienced as teens/young adults. I don't think modern day "recreational dating" where couples go out spontaneously with "sexperimentation" is an ideal situation. I think we were hoping courtship would be a healthier way to find one's life partner. The courtship model we appreciated involved getting to know potential suiters, having them over, working on projects together, spending time with the family to see how he interacted with younger siblings, etc. I still think a lot of this is important, but I am not convinced that courting is the ideal way anymore. I think it made Hannah feel confined and I especially do not agree with the father having ownership of his daughter's heart. I think I could type up a post or two on just that topic alone. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Another thing that the purity ring/courtship emphasis did was created real boundaries between guys and girls. The ring represented that she was taken (by her father) and so any guy who saw a ring on her finger kept his distance. I noticed some uneasiness of teens when they were in a group setting that I never experienced in high school. I can only think that comes from the rigid boundaries. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Interestingly, our other daughter who is now 18 years old does not have a purity ring and we have not discussed courtship with her. She is equally comfortable hanging out and talking with guys or girls. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/atillavibes/3944865367/">Atilla1000</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">cc</a></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4861198333046479177.post-8382541025520601142012-11-20T19:54:00.001-08:002012-11-22T11:01:26.612-08:00The Offering Plate<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't usually do this, but this article is just beautiful and . . . radical. It comes from Wade Burleson who pastors <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">Emmanuel Baptist Church in Enid, Oklahoma. You can hear his sermons each week at <a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/echurchwartburg-2/">EChurch</a> at the <a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/">The Wartburg Watch</a> blog. </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3sL-MdJeX6LrkKds3MxV419_XlMSK5UCdSplLGGfHtXAEVNpc4z4M0wnA6kw3Kx3csmO-e8Yp-8SazvlSiFp7at649_64X_q-exQnNZOOeCAyVsqzSvWGOd2r_GsPTKtLXNuUVrbszzim/s1600/medium_6859392170.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3sL-MdJeX6LrkKds3MxV419_XlMSK5UCdSplLGGfHtXAEVNpc4z4M0wnA6kw3Kx3csmO-e8Yp-8SazvlSiFp7at649_64X_q-exQnNZOOeCAyVsqzSvWGOd2r_GsPTKtLXNuUVrbszzim/s320/medium_6859392170.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #333333; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.wadeburleson.org/2012/11/thankful-for-giving-this-thanksgiving.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thankful for Giving at Thanksgiving<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></a></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #333333; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Emmanuel Enid receives offerings in our four morning worship services the old fashioned way - we pass plates. Since coming as pastor of Emmanuel in 1992, it has been our standard practice to invite people in the auditorium to either give to the offering or receive from the offering. When we pass the plates we encourage those in financial need to take from the offering if they have need. We only ask that they take the cash and leave the checks and the envelopes because those are checks made to Emmanuel, and they couldn't cash them anyway. We also typically announce that if there is not enough cash in the plate to meet their need, they can see us after the service and we will see what we can do to help them financially. There are no restrictions. Members and guests are invited to take from the offering plate. Money can be taken by the same person every week for fifty-two weeks. We mean what we say, and we have many stories of people who have been helped through our offering, sometimes in surprising fashions. One young lady who was in college stopped me one Sunday with tears in her eyes. She was an only child. Her only surviving parent and grandparent, her father, was dying of cancer. . . . . . . . . <i>please enjoy the rest of the story <a href="http://www.wadeburleson.org/2012/11/thankful-for-giving-this-thanksgiving.html">here</a></i>. </span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-size: large;">Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/landerholm/6859392170/">k.landerholm</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a></span>Julie Annehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03125322661578802590noreply@blogger.com7