Earlier I discussed the impact of the internet and bloggers on churches with regard to how they handle abuse issues and ended with this paragraph:
I will be highlighting one of the above church groups in the next post because there's a whole lot of shakin' going on and it is important to keep tabs on this situation in light of church trends in dealing with spiritual abuse and sex abuse.
Another reason I have kept up with SGMSurvivors.com blog is that our family has some personal connections with SGM. We attended the Sovereign Grace Church of Chesapeake, Virginia a few times when we lived in Virginia in the late 1990s. We know people who have attended SGM churches and who currently attend SGM churches. Additionally, through the course of being a blogger who deals with spiritual abuse, a number of current and former SGM members have contacted me, relaying their very sad stories of spiritual abuse, heavy-handed authority among church leaders or home group leaders, and sex abuse situations in which church leaders failed to respond appropriately.
Today we learned about the reported lawsuit which was publicized in AP news and has gone viral: Lawsuit Against Sovereign Grace Ministries: Failure to Report Sex Abuse
Sovereign Grace Ministries has since issued a statement regarding the media's report of a lawsuit:
October 17, 2012
Statement by Sovereign Grace Ministries on Reported Lawsuit
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY – Today, Sovereign Grace Ministries Director of Finance and Administration, Tommy Hill, released the statement below regarding a reported lawsuit on October 17, 2012:
It has come to the attention of Sovereign Grace Ministries through media outlets that a lawsuit has been filed against Sovereign Grace Ministries related to allegations of child abuse apparently arising in the 1980s and 90s. To date, Sovereign Grace Ministries has not been served with any such lawsuit nor does it have a copy of the lawsuit. Sovereign Grace Ministries is not in a position to comment on the allegations of the reported lawsuit. Child abuse in any context is reprehensible and criminal. Sovereign Grace Ministries takes seriously the Biblical commands to pursue the protection and well being of all people, especially the most vulnerable in its midst, little children.
Sovereign Grace Ministries is a family of over 80 churches, primarily in the United States with the goal of proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ both locally and globally.
If the lawsuit was reported in AP news, you can be sure that a lawsuit was filed. AP would not risk leaking a story unless it was filed. It will be a matter of days before defendants are served. But I wonder how the victims' families felt when reading this comment from the press release, "Child abuse in any context is reprehensible and criminal. " In reading several of the abuse stories, it certainly did not appear that church leaders found the disclosed sex abuse to be "criminal" based on their actions, or shall I say non-actions. What a slap in the face!
If you have never read any of the sex abuse stories, here are a few that are published online. I must issue a disclaimer. These are heart-wrenching:
Personal Accounts of Abuse: Wallace’s Story Taylor’s Story Noel’s Story ExCLCer SGMnot
Brent Detwiler, a former (and founding) member of the Sovereign Grace board, has also issued a statement regarding the lawsuit. Brent has been a key person involved in exposing complaints against CJ Mahaney and Sovereign Grace Ministry pastors and leaders. Detwiler was known as an historian and took copious notes during his time at SGM. In the summer of 2011, documents were distributed to pastors and then leaked to the internet in which CJ Mahaney was accused of being proud, abusive, dishonest, and manipulative. Here is Brent's statement he issued today regarding the lawsuit:
“C.J. was the President and Chairman of SGM when these incidences occurred. He was also senior pastor of Covenant Life Church – one of the churches cited. He had knowledge of these matters and certainly would have provided counsel to the CLC pastors. He has taken no responsibility for any defective handling of either situation. It is possible the details of these events were covered up to save face. I was one of five SGM Board Members during this time period and I was never told about any of these cases of sexual abuse. That information was withheld from me.
“At the SGM Pastors Conference in 2009, C.J. asked Mark Mullery, the sr. pastor in Fairfax, VA, to make a confession regarding his/the pastors mishandling of the victims. C.J. took no responsibility and said nothing about his own mishandling of victims in Maryland at Covenant Life Church. I don’t know the facts concerning these events but I do know C.J. has a history of covering up serious sins and taking no responsibility as the senior leader.
“C.J. may also have withheld information from me thinking I would advocate for the victims and encourage contact with the law. In so doing, he may have been trying to keep a lid on things in order to avoid a lawsuit and bad press for pastoral negligence.” (Brent Detwiler, Oct 17, 2012)
Seems as though the wolf population has made a remarkable rebound in the lower 48. Very few churches are absent from the presence of the modern day wolf pack. And the alpha male will do whatever he needs to do to protect the pack and their feeding grounds.
ReplyDeleteFeeding grounds made me think of Kool-Aid. Wonder where the wolves store all of that Kool-Aid for their next victims?
DeleteThese stories are all so sad. I have to admit, my first thought was to wonder why these people stayed so long with the churches and endured all of the meetings and non-help. But, I understand the mindwarping that these churches perpetrate on people and the fear that people have of leaving. It's just all so sad.
ReplyDeleteKathi - It's the same thing that happened with us. You are either told that other churches are inferior or that is the vibe presented from the top. Also it's so difficult to leave if there have been years of relationships invested - families/kids, etc. Sometimes they are so invested in church that there are little to no relationships outside of church.
DeleteI get it. Even since we left our non-abusive church, none of the people that we were friends with have maintained friendships with us. These were people who told us that we were "like family" to them and they simply just disappeared from our lives - even though they live a few blocks away from us and not from our lack of trying to maintain relationships. Leaving the church has probably been one of the loneliest things I've ever done.
ReplyDeleteI also get the feeling that these "leaders" and their wives must be awfully tired. Trying to hide so much and maintain good status is wearisome. All the meetings and making sure that everyone plays by the rules...
It reminds me of when Abileen asks Miss Hilly in The Help, "Ain't you tired?"
When we lived in the area, I occasionally ran into members from our former church and found it very awkward - they'd turn around and walk the other way. Have you run into former church friends, Kathi? If so, how do they respond to you? They certainly aren't showing love by disappearing from your lives, are they?
DeleteI run into people all the time. It's usually just a quick "Hi, how are you?" It used to be that whenever I saw someone I would take the effort to go and say hi and have a bit of a conversation. Now I just wait to see if they even notice me and will say hi. It doesn't happen very often.
DeleteI'd be so tempted to ask them to coffee and then ask the pointed questions: "What happened to us and what used to be?" "Why did things have to change?"
Delete. . . . But then, I'm the one who also broadcasts my thoughts on the internet for all to see and doesn't care what people think ;) . . . . . well, for the most part
Believe me, I've done that. The response usually is, "Nothing has happened between us." While it has hurt, I've let it go. I'm convinced that it's more because they are so wrapped up in church events and doing things with church people that they don't have time or don't think about doing things with others outside of the church.
DeleteThat's so sad, Kathi. They are blinded. Where's the love?
DeleteWith my simple mind I used to think that Heaven was going to be a crowded place with all the billions of people that have lived and died since the beginning of time. I envisioned standing room only around the throne as we worship and give praise to Our Lord and Saviour. As I have grown older and more mature in my walk with the Lord and his word, I am afraid to say that there will probably be plenty of empty seats in heaven. A sad reality!!
ReplyDeleteI think my mind has adjusted about a lot of these kinds of things, too, Raymond. I think we have new eyes when we have gone through spiritual abuse. I think, however, that it is a gift, too. You have a great amount of compassion for those who are still stuck at Eagle Heights. They just don't get it. But when they do - - - I'll bet you'll be there for them.
Deletehttp://teampyro.blogspot.com/2012/05/you-know-what-all-right-already.html
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Frank and all his cohorts over there will be baking up a crow pie soon? Frank (at the end of the comments) says the issue is closed and anyone who brings it up again will be banned.
The stupid comments by the illustrious Tom Chantry made me furious. "Here's my question to all of you: What would qualify any outside person or group to intervene and/or mediate this dispute?"
Certainly not sexual abuse of children, Tom. Certainly not!
Circle the wagons, protect your pastor friends, guys... after all that's where your ministry nest is feathered, by networking with these guys and having conferences blah blah...
Terriergal - - - it's sick. At what point do those guys say "Enough is enough!!!!" What is worse than sex abuse of children?
DeleteAnd I SERIOUSLY have to wonder about Phil Johnson's claims to have been in an abusive church himself if he can't recognize a legitimate complaint even from afar off. He's clearly more interested in protecting his obnoxious friends than looking into the truth of an issue. (lest he be participating in 'gossip', egads!)
ReplyDeleteMaybe PJ's just a disgruntled former church member himself and engaging in a bit of psychological projection.
He told me personally that he had nightmares from his abuse. But . . . . he was also talking with a woman blogger whose fingers were 6-inches from the keyboard. Woman bloggers are dangerous creatures, ya know?! I suppose it probably was important to make a good connection with me.
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