Who'da Thunk It?

Thus, I heal therefore I blog; I blog therefore I heal. ~Brad Sargent

A new milestone:  300,000 blog hits

Thank you for reading, for walking this journey with me, for learning along with me, for spreading the word about spiritual abuse.  It's not a pleasant topic, but it needs to be discussed.  I could never have imagined this nearly 9 months ago.  I thought my story would be over with the conclusion of the lawsuit, perhaps not.  

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As Thou hast been,Thou forever wilt be.

Refrain:
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above;
Join with all nature in manifold witness,
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

(Refrain)

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

(Refrain)

photo credit: ClickFlashPhotos / Nicki Varkevisser via photopin cc

Response to Apology - Trolls and Spiritual Abuse

Last week, Fred Butler issued a public apology to the Smith Family on his own blog per my husband's request.  Comments on the post were closed, so I have copied Steve's words here (and sent Fred an e-mail):

Fred, 

Concerning what you wrote about Hannah - your apology is accepted and I forgive you. Thank you for taking my request to heart.  Bear in mind I'm only speaking for myself, not JA or Hannah. 

One further question: How much oversight do you give GCC peers or pastors over what you write publicly?  I realize you may never answer that question, but for sensitive issues like this it is human to write something hurtful in the heat of passion over strong beliefs.  It is easy to take a favorite side without investigating the facts.   With GCC being such a trend-setting church worldwide I'm sure the broadcast image of all the elders is very important. 

Regards, 

Steve

I, too, have forgiven Fred for last week's inappropriate comments regarding my daughter and repercussions on our family and have sent Fred a personal e-mail.  Hannah accepted Fred's apology earlier.

Thanks to reader Tom Kelley for submitting this :)

Trolls and Spiritual Abuse

I lost track of how many posts were deleted these past few days.  These are not the typical trolls that cause disruption on blogs,  These trolls are posting very hurtful comments directed towards my daughter and Emily and her friend, who were also former members.  Other comments were disruptive, just to stir up trouble and waste my time.

I've been saying from the beginning that the lawsuit was about spiritual abuse;  a pastor is trying to exert his control over those who have left to prevent them from talking.  The lawsuit was an attempt to shut down this blog.  The pastor and some of his people will do anything to sabotage this blog, including trying to bring sympathetic outsiders into their fight against us by spreading gossip, and using them to continue this battle as was evidenced last week.  (Fred mentioned in his blog comments:  "Your old pastor emailed me when I put up my second post on wicked sheep to tell me how much he appreciates my being discerning with my post and comments interacting with other "survivor bloggers" and to explain his side of the story. "


What's interesting is that in their quest to cause disruption here, they are blatantly sinning (calling young girls disgusting names) and bullying and showing no Christ-like behavior.   Would God call people to sin in order to fight His battles?    I don't think so.  People who are so blinded that they behave in such a fashion are also ones who could be easily deceived and convinced to drink the tainted kool-aid because they have lost common sense of what is right and what is wrong.  Please pray for these folks as they are in a dangerous place.

In light of the above, I am going to toughen up the posting rules a bit.  I will periodically switch from moderated to unmoderated comments,  as necessary.  I am much more inclined to delete Anonymous posts, so please refrain from posting using "Anonymous" as a name.  Instead, either use your real name (first name is fine), or select a pseudonym and stick with the pseudonym.   Thank you for your understanding.

Let's move on . . . . 

A Few Notes from Julie Anne

Countdown:  5 days till court date,  drawn by JA's 9-yr old

Just a few things to share before a "regular" blog post coming up as my 9-yr old is busy with his drawing for the post.

Phil Johnson from Grace Community Church (John MacArthur's church) reached out to me yesterday and we had a lengthy conversation.  As you may recall, in one of the earlier reviews that Chuck O'Neal posted on Google (oy, a lot of activity here!), he said something to the effect that a pastor had given him the okay to sue us.  John MacArthur has continuously preached/taught that Christians should not sue and so it was important to find out if they in fact had recommended Chuck sue us.  I don't know if there will be more of an official statement coming out than was issued yesterday, but I personally don't think they outright encouraged Chuck to sue.  This would make sense also by the fact that Chuck recently removed that particular review from the Google site.  There might have been some gray area in communication and understanding, but I just don't believe they encouraged it.  Regardless, I was very pleased with the conversation and I think he left with new insights regarding the situation between Chuck O'Neal and the defendants of the law suit or at least my perspective on situations.  I felt he was warm and genuine and really listened.   He said there would be a staff meeting today and would be bringing up this situation.   Ya think?   

During my first two conversations with pastors from Grace Community, I did not feel like our issues were heard very well or even acknowledged and this was conveyed to Phil.  He apologized for that.  In hindsight, they are probably aware that things could have been done differently.   Who ever would have thought this would have gone so viral?  Wow!   LOL  Go Streisand Effect!

  * * * * * * * * **

It appears that Chuck O'Neal has broke his silence.  MSNBC.com featured the first story I've seen which includes comments from Chuck.

* * * *New edit here:  Regarding the issue of were we asked to leave or did we leave on or own accord, this is the msnbc.com quote:

Smith, who used to play piano at the Beaverton church, said she and her family were asked to leave the congregation in November 2008, but it was almost a year before she took her grievances online. Church leaders, however, deny ever asking the Smiths to leave and claim her family left of their own accord.  (http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/16/11698334-oregon-mom-sued-by-church-over-online-criticism#comments)

Oopsie:  look at this post and judge for yourself.

I copied the top part of the review.  I have underlined the important phrase:

Chuck O'Neal ‎ - Nov 18, 2009

JulieAnne's Destructive Slander Continues To Whom It May Concern: Almost a year ago JulieAnne and her husband were Biblically put out of Beaverton Grace Bible Church with a group of families and individuals that were engaged in ongoing divisive slander. 

This is Chuck's "review" on Google.  I have a screen shot of it in case it is removed from Google. 

Also, I found out early this morning that a press release was issued.  I've read it, it's long, drawn out and has no place here on my blog and he does not get to have a platform here.   Amen.  Amen.  And Amen! 

 * * * * * * * * * *

I've added links to blog stories and interviews (both tv and radio) on the right side bar.  I did an interview with  Don Miller in FL and would love to find a copy of that.  If anyone can locate it, please send me an e-mail.  Don Miller was the first media personality to discuss the case as it pertains to spiritual abuse and I very much appreciated that.  I'd love for you to hear it.

My Name

 I previously listed my user ID on this blog as "Free".  Free expressed how I feel now that I am no longer held captive emotionally and spiritually.   I set up the blog quickly and hadn't thought through the implications of revealing my identity.  Now I've had some time.  My original Google review listed my first name.  Chuck O'Neal listed me by my first name in his  reviews (not always spelled correctly, btw). 

I typically use a pseudonym for online purposes, but in this case and because of the possible publicity involved, I think it's important to clearly identify who I am especially since there are three others named in the lawsuit.  So Julie Anne it is.    Please note the spelling (Ann is not naked - it requires an "e" - just like the queens in royalty and of course, who can forget Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables).  They are two separate names.  And if you call me Julie without the Anne, I may not respond  :)   Just so you know. . . .

One Month and I Feel Good

It's been one month since this blog was created.  After noticing my Google reviews on Beaverton Grace Bible Church were being removed from the Google review website without any explanation, I began this blog to share my story because I felt my voice was being taken from me.  I don't get this idea of silencing someone on a review forum, especially in America.  How can that happen?  Don't we have a thing called Freedom of Speech?

When we were at BGBC, I would guess the highest church attendance rate to be around 100 people, including children.  I've heard that the numbers were about 80 fairly recently.  How many people typically look up Google reviews when searching for a new church?  Probably not too many.  I wonder how many actually would have seen my initial review had it been left there - especially after it had been bumped down with the glowing reviews by current church members?  Probably even fewer.

Having the Google reviews removed encouraged me to find to a different platform.  This blog has accomplished that with a wider audience, thanks to Google's search engines.  More people will be able to read my story, compare it with theirs, gain understanding on how spiritual abuse can affect the lives of people in such devastating ways and hopefully will be able get back on the right track.  

Through this blog and my story, I have connected with individuals, bloggers, organizations, and even an author who deals with this topic.   It's been wonderful to get support and feedback from people around the world. 

When I initially sent the link out to three people, I suspected a few hits a day and thought it might fizzle out.  Last week, there were several days with over 200 hits a day and the total amount of hits at the time of this post is 4,435.  

It feels great to have a voice again.  I will not stop talking.  I will not stop sharing my story.  I believe it needs to be told.   Thank you for your comments and prayers.  I feel your support. 

And to further express how I feel, go ahead have a little fun with me and picture me as one of the young ladies dancing on the stage.  Oh yea, baby, I feel GOOD!  And yes, that was a shout! 

How People Search for This Blog

Blogger (the hosting site for this blog) gives me behind-the-scene stats on my blog.  Although I am unable to tell exactly who is frequenting the blog, it does give some interesting information.  Here's a picture shown on my stats page of the words/phrases people have used to find this blog.  I guess I'm a nerd because this sort of thing amuses me (click to enlarge).

Blog Hits

Between late last night and early this morning there were 25 new hits on this site.  I've personally given the link to only 3 people, so obviously it is traveling quickly since not many people would have a need to do a Google Search for the church between midnight and 7:30 AM.  

I wish I could be a bug on the wall and hear today's sermon.  Perhaps it has something to do with people who bring discord and strife to the body and stir up dissension.  It is not wrong to question your pastor, to scour the Scriptures for truth, to question when something inside your heart tells you something is not right.  Be careful that you do not turn yourself, your hearts, mind, soul, to a man, but to God. 

I leave you with this:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I pray that each of you would seek the Truth in love.  (1 Cor. 13:4)

Introduction

This blog has been set up primarily as a safe haven for those who suffered at the hands of the pastor and/or members (perhaps unknowingly) of Beaverton Grace Bible Church.  If you would like me to post your story, please send to:  bgbcsurvivors@gmail.com   Because of the nature of this situation, I understand that some will want to remain anonymous and I fully respect that choice.

As I have gone through this process personally and have read books, scoured the internet for understanding of what we went through, I am aware that others who may not have gone to BGBC will venture upon the site.  You may read something here that sounds very similar to your church experience, just as I did on other blogs/websites.  You are free to comment and respond, too.  Sadly, this is not an isolated church experience and my heart goes out to you, too!  You are not alone.

When you post anonymously on my Blogger blog, I am unable to see any identifiable information (ISP addresses, etc), so please know that this is a safe place to share your story or comment.

If you have ideas for discussion, please send them along to:  bgbcsurvivors@gmail.com





* * * * Update 1/2/13:   I have a new blog www.spiritualsoundingboard  Come check it out!