In a controlling church, it is impossible to leave on good terms. Because the pastor’s sense of worth is usually based on the control he is able to exert over the congregation, when someone leaves, this insecure leader considers it an affront to his leadership. Therefore he often takes it personally. As a result, when people do leave, they are labeled rebellious, or the rest of the congregation is given the explanation that they left because they had become offended.
In an unhealthy church, there is never a good reason why anyone should leave. Regardless of the situation, the people who leave are always the “problem.”
Administrative note: I was informed that readers had to register in order to comment on this blog. I have edited the settings to allow people to comment anonymously. This is a sensitive issue that has affected many lives for many years and there have been lasting repercussions to those who have been bold enough to leave the church. I want to make sure this blog is a safe place to post comments. Using a pseudo name or posting anonymously is fine with me.