Monday, February 27, 2012

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

I've spent a lot of time researching spiritual abuse, the kinds of people who spiritually abuse and found this great article called "Narcissism in the Pulpit" about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Be sure to check out the very informative website.  Here is a snippet from the website:

Sam Vaknin, described by the New York Times as the “world’s leading expert on narcissism”, describes narcissism as:  “Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the following criteria must be met:
1. Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements & talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion.

3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique &, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions).

4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention & affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply).

5. Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special & favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations.

6. Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends.

7. Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others.

8. Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her.

9. Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted.”



  1. As I was in this church (BGBC) for some time, I recall on several occasions he (the pastor) would be having a conversation with one group of individuals, while simultaneously listening to another conversation going on with different individuals several feet away. I personally witnessed this myself on several occasions.would this be considered narcissistic personality dissorder? or just plain evesdropping?

    1. As a mom, I'm pretty good at multi-tasking, but I don't think I could effectively listen to two conversations at once. Funny that you mention it, but I do remember him doing that as well. It seems that hearing only parts of conversations could lead to problems down the road, though. As far as your questions - my opinion is that he liked to be in the know about all things going on in the church.

  2. Perhaps a need to be in control by knowing everything going on. Maybe ask Chuck... he has a degree in psychology.

    1. You must be responding to the previous anonymous poster.
      Good point, though.

    2. interesting. I think it really is all about control. And the most dangerous person to have a degree in psychology is either a narcissist, sociopath our psychopath. The difference between the first and the latter two is that narcissists may still have a conscience whereas the others do not - they never feel sorry for harm they cause others. They are often the "captains of industry" (presidents, ceo's, etc) as they tend to be very intelligent, ruthless, and do not care who.they harm in the pursuit of profit & there own monetary and/or advancement of power. The reason the knowledge of psychology is so dangerous is that they use it as a skill set to learn more about people and what they are about, then use that information to manipulate, control, and, if they wish, destroy that person our people either figuratively our literally if that person poses a threat to their power & control, or stands in their way of it's pursuit.

      Your pastor sounds much more like a sociopath than a narcissist. Sociopaths will never be able to be convinced that what they are doing is wrong or hurtful, and frankly, would not care at all. Guilt is an emotion they never experience. In fact, they are unable to care as they are devoid of both empathy and conscience. There is nothing that can help this disorder; for example it's been found that criminal sociopaths & psychopaths cannot be reformed.

  3. (Sorry about the spelling errors in my post about sociopaths (there instead of their, our instead of or). Darn "smart" phone does word substitutions.)

  4. 5 of these? I think if you have 2 of these qualities something is wrong!

    1. Mike, you are welcome to stop by anytime. Just sayin' . . . . :)


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