Friday, November 9, 2012

Calvary Chapel Visalia Pastor Bob Grenier is Helping Which Victims?

"It's hard on your soul to see the pain and the destruction," said Pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel in Visalia.

This is another one of those things that make you go "hmmmmm."

Remember Pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel Visalia?  Pastor Bob Grenier and his wife, Gayle, are suing their own son and a former church member for defamation, etc.  Let me remind you of a few key points- - this is the same pastor who was deep into a lifestyle of drugs,  was miraculously saved, and entered full-time ministry in SIX days (whoa - that's some seminary training!).   

God is clear in His word about how important family relationships are, especially those in leadership, yet on Pastor Grenier's page at the Calvary Chapel Visalia church website, there is no mention of Bob or Gayle's children.  This is what I reported earlier:

In the bio, you see his wife, Gayle, mentioned, but there is no mention of any children.  I've never seen a bio of a pastor not mention children and even possibly grandchildren.   Why would he leave out the names of his children?  Calvary Chapel is all about families.  Take a look at the website to see all the children's ministries.  Why would he fail to mention his own children   . . . .unless there was a problem???  Is this another red flag?  

We know that scripture is pretty clear that Christians ought not be suing other Christians:  

When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!
(1 Corinthians 6:1-8 ESV)

Well, evidently Pastor Bob Grenier is "special" just like my former pastor.  All of the verses in the Bible do not apply to "special" pastors, you see.   And don't you think it's strange that other pastors in Pastor Bob Grenier's Calvary Chapel group of pastors don't speak out publicly against Bob Grenier's behavior?  I tell you, there are strange happenings among church "leaders".  

But now we come to this.  Less than a month from filing a lawsuit against brothers in Christ (including son, Alex), Pastor Bob Grenier is now focusing on victims.  Isn't that nice?  Wait a minute?  Victims?  Which victims is he focusing on?  

He seems to have forgotten about these victims:  Calvary Chapel Pastor Pastor Bob Grenier: Stories of Abuse As Told by His Children, but instead wants to focus on Hurricane Sandy victims.  How sweet.  So the victims who are in close proximity to him, who he has rubbed shoulders with for years don't matter, but somehow his heart is moved by the victims of Hurricane Sandy?   Alrighty, then.  I see how that works.


Take a look at the the interview here with Pastor Bob Grenier and how he talks about the pain and destruction incurred by Hurricane Sandy Victims.  I wonder if the reporter who interviewed him knew about how Pastor Bob Grenier has treated his own church members, employees and family members?  Probably not.  KMPH FOX 26 | Central San Joaquin Valley News Source 

VISALIA, Calif. (KMPH) -
Although we're more than three thousand miles away, people here in Valley are stepping up to care for Sandy victims. 
A South Valley pastor plans to help restore hope in those coping with the devastation.
"It's hard on your soul to see the pain and the destruction," said Pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel in Visalia. 
He volunteered to join a network of pastors across California. 
They'll travel to Ocean Grove, New Jersey to feed mouths and souls of those left with nothing.
"When people have lost all their material things, they're devastated also emotionally. So being able to come alongside a person who's lost everything, and just love them and express care and concern for them is a real boost in the moment. But to be able to follow that up with practical help, those two things together can make a huge difference," said Pastor Bob.

But wait, there's more:

But he knows people in New Jersey need more than just food and shelter to re-group. While he's there, he hopes to also help restore their faith. 
"It's just hard for your soul to be exposed to tragedy," said the pastor.

The article lists Calvary Chapel Visalia to send donations and says that 100% of the donations will get to Sandy victims.  Ok, yada, yada, yada, but this is the kind of thing that just rubs me wrong:

"When people have lost all their material things, they're devastated also emotionally. So being able to come alongside a person who's lost everything, and just love them and express care and concern for them is a real boost in the moment."
"It's hard on your soul to see the pain and the destruction,"
"It's just hard for your soul to be exposed to tragedy," said the pastor. 

Dear Pastor Bob Grenier:  
I'm trying to connect with you, Pastor Bob, but there's just this little thing in the way.  It's hard on my soul to see how you have failed to address the multitudes of people who have brought to your attention issues of spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse - - victims from your very own family, church, and church employees.  To see your "heart" moved for victims of the hurricane sounds all sweet, but when you fail to deal with those whom God has placed right in your path, what message are you sending?  

I will be straight with you.  I believe you are a hypocrite.  I believe this Hurricane Sandy focus is a PR stunt to make you look good among your peers and the world in an attempt to divert the focus off the ridiculous lawsuit.  Stay home.  People whose families and lives are in order can help Hurricane Sandy victims.  Withdraw the lawsuit.  Tell your wife, Gayle, to restore her relationship with her son, Alex and his wife, and her precious grandchildren.  Get reconciled with your family.  Get reconciled with the people of your church.  Be done with this farce.  It is only making you look more foolish.  

Julie Anne

for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.
(1 Timothy 3:5-6 ESV)

Please take note of signs of spiritual abuse:  preoccupation with image (narcissism), damage control, extra-Biblical rules (he gets to sue), etc.  It's easy to extend care and love to those who you don't rub shoulders with all the way on the East coast, but it is a leader's responsibility to make sure his own home is in order.  This house is a mess.  Watch these patterns.

As a side note:  Alex and Tim, defendants in the lawsuit are surely going through an emotional ordeal at this moment with regard to their lawsuit.   They are just like you and me - normal family folk but are forced to retain an attorney to defend themselves from someone I believe to be a spiritual tyrant.  If you are able to donate anything to help the cause, I know it would be greatly appreciated.  Just an FYI - when I was looking for my attorney, retainer fees ranged from $3,000 to $10,000 just to start.  I don't know about you, but most people I know can't write out a check for that amount.   If you feel led, please go over to:  Calvary Chapel Abuse and click on the Paypal donation button on top left side of the screen.  


  1. Holy sh!t that's my hometown/parent's denomination.

    1. Abuse is everywhere, sadly, Mattie :( Sucks.

    2. Wow, I thought this was a Christian blog.

    3. Exclamation points more than you can handle, Anonymous?

    4. Maybe, understandably, an explitive is not so very grievous when compared with the allegations of abuse that have been detailed on this blog?

    5. I wasn't sure what Anonymous was talking about, my use of the word "sucks" or the one above mine, but it really doesn't matter - - they are just words. When I read someone's comment, I try to understand the heart of what they are saying and I think I got it loud and clear. Sometimes stronger words or "colorful" words make the communication process easier because there's no second guessing.

    6. I beg to disagree. Two wrongs do not make it right. With all due respect dear ones:

      Col. 3:8 and Eph 4:29 come to mind. "Put away... filthy language out of your mouth" and " corrupt communication..." Sure, there isn't a list of cuss words, but c'mon, we're grown ups. We know what they are. The Bible doesn't have to list them for us. Principles.

    7. Of course you are correct, Linda. I just do not police my blog like that here. I won't do it. I know a little about Mattie from her blog to know that she has suffered spiritual abuse. You and I both know what turmoil people go through. Her response was a reaction of shock and perhaps anger. It seems to me that if "filthy language" is used, this would the most appropriate time to use it - - -being disgusted about the atrocities of spiritual abuse and it's effects.

      This must remain a safe place to vent.

    8. This is why I have come to loathe many of my fellow self righteous so called Christians...rather then focus on the issue at hand-the abuse in the story and the pastor these clowns want to get all offended because of the word s*it. No doubt they would rather stone the gal that said it then see justice upheld against the sinful pastor (s). They remind of the Pharisee's always pointing fingers at the smallest of sins of others (and actually I don't consider the word s*it a CURSE word, it may be a crude word but its hardly taking God's name in vain or such but I guess these folks have never said a bad wordy when they stub their toe or burn their finger ? Ya God knows the truth and I bet they don't say " darn it " or " shucks" . Hypocrites all.

    9. I hear ya, Anonymous. The small curse word is nothing compared to spiritual abuse that can cause a crisis of faith. We need to look at the full picture.

  2. See Julie, this dude is a prime example of that article I sent you yesterday.

    1. Exactly! Might be time for another narcissist post soon :)

  3. So 100% of donations are going to the victims of hurricane Sandy….. and we can be sure that BG is trust worthy to see that happens, since he has accountability is so many other area’s (NOT)

  4. People like Grenier must not believe the Bible-we are told we will reap what we so and he will.

  5. Julie Anne,

    You can always go to my page if you need information regarding classical behaviors of the Narcisist/Psychopath.

  6. LOL---that would be Narcissist, as in Personality Disorder, by the way.

  7. You know it is not unusual for a person such as that BG is described to be/to do something that would neutralize that which he does not wish to be exposed.

    For instance what did the pastor who got caught spending his time with prostitutes by participating in one form or another, sexual immorality, do —–he was really pressing the pulpit in preaching hell and damnation for those who did such thiings. I think his name was Jimmy Haggard, but my memory is lapsing on this one.

    My own husband forcing me into hiding, thus also into the streets turned right around, then volunteer to work alongside those who were doing a homeless outreach.

    I have no doubt in my mind that BG is using the crisis on the East Coast to make his “goodness” known and to be seen as a benevolent and loving person. By heading this project up and including the CC leaders across the board, he also recruits those who he will need to squash any bad press while gaining better press on his behalf. He will make sure his name is on this project and that he gets credit for it.

    IMO this is classical and a very effective tool to take the eyes of truth and justice off of him. In turn, his children will be seen as unforgiving and being too hard on a person who has gone on in his life to do good to others while bringing hope and encouragement to so many lost and discouraged people.

    At the same time, we have to remember God is in control and he knows what hidden agenda undergirds these things. Nevertheless, He will use these “works” to touch the lives of others, and we ought not to resent or fear that at all. For He also tells us that He will reveal these things done in the dark and bring them into the light—–what is of Him, and what was not.

    So, we can still pray for the people on the East Coast to be helped and ministered. And we can pray that in the process, God would make a way for BG hidden person to be exposed, long before this court case comes about.

    What was that Joseph said to his brothers: You meant it to do harm, but God used it for my good.

    Those are my thoughts anyway.

  8. Excuse me, the preacher's name was Jimmy Swaggart. Nice guy, but like most sex addicts, unless held to an account, his behavior only escalated. Being a Pastor only enable him to cover these things up unfortunately.

    1. Linda - I think you combined the names of two pastors names who have had similar issues: Ted Haggard and Jimmy Swaggart.

      Ted Haggard was caught with a male and Swaggart was caught with a prostitute.

  9. Hi Julie Anne

    You write about “Church Leaders” and “Leadership.”

    “God is clear in His word about how important family relationships are,
    especially those in leadership,”

    “I tell you, there are strange happenings among church "leaders".“

    “it is a leader's responsibility to make sure his own home is in order.“

    It wasn’ till after I left “Leadership” and “The Abusive Religious System”
    That I realized Isaiah had prophesied about my “Leadership” skills. ;-)

    Isa 3:12
    ...O my people, *they which lead thee* cause thee to err,
    and destroy the way of thy paths.

    Isa 9:16
    For *the leaders of this people* cause them to err;
    and they that are led of them are destroyed.

    And I began to understand why Jesus taught His Disciples...
    NOT to be called “Leader”- For you have “ONE” “Leader” - Christ.

    Mat 23:10-12.NASB
    Do not be called leaders; for “ONE” is your Leader, that is, Christ.
    But the greatest among you shall be your servant.
    Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled;
    and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.

    Could these - “strange happenings among church "leaders".
    Be happening because they have “Exalted” themselves?
    And they have taken a name of the Lord thy God in vain?
    The name "Leader" that belongs to only "ONE" - Jesus?

    1. Amos: Great scripture references on "lead" - those are very insightful.

  10. Julie Anne

    P.S. This guy causes my Creepo Meter to red line
    and gives me the shivers. ;-)

    1. Yea, my Creepo Meter went BOY-OY-OING when I heard about his Hurricane Sandy relief efforts.

      As someone cleverly posted on the Calvary Chapel Abuse blog: "What about the Hurricane Bob victims?
      Why doesn’t he care about them?"

      Indeed Pastor Bob has left a trail of victims in his path with no relief in sight - just more torrential storms, including the current lawsuit against his son and former church member.

  11. Amen, thank u for sharing! Evil doings will only hide in dark corners for so long until exposed by the light.
    I am very aware of what is going on w/ Bob & his family. I believe his children's accusations of sexual, physical & mental abuse. May God bless his children w/ courage & strength & place conviction in hearts of Bob & Gayle. Their children may be grown, however they have suffered enough. I pray God will spare them any further grief. Lashing out on their children & those who have exposed the horrific details will not make it go back into hiding.
    Get right Bob & Gayle, w/ God & your children!

    1. Thank you for your insight, Anonymous. I do hope and pray that the abuse is exposed and there will be reconciliation in the Grenier family and also with members of CC Visalia.


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