Friday, December 21, 2012

Doomsday Send-Off

I've managed to outlive all of the other projected dates predicting end times.  However, just in case it is the end of the world tomorrow, I thought I'd share this beautiful choral send-off.  Oh boy, I better hurry, it's already 12:23 AM.  What time is this thing supposed to happen?  

The lyrics come from a poem attributed to Mary Elizabeth Frye.  I find the choral arrangement breathtaking.  It's hard to describe what it's like to play a piece like this for a choir - especially when I feel such a connection with the music and the lyrics.  It's not particularly a religious poem, but the last line certainly is profound for a Believer:  I am not there, I did not die.

About five years ago, the high school choir I accompanied sang this at their spring concert.  Three days before graduation, a senior was in a car accident and died.  His parents requested that the choir sing the song at his memorial service.   I'm not sure how those kids were able to sing it knowing the last time it was sung, their friend was among them singing it.  But what beautiful lyrics to comfort them.  




Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
(Source)






Thursday, December 20, 2012

Music and Madness



'Tis the season and my kids and I have been playing a lot of this:







and singing in Christmas programs.  There are two final music events this week.  Music is so wonderfully healing and was certainly a nice distraction from some heavier subjects.

But hey, did you happen to read about Westboro Baptist Church's website getting hacked last week?  


The Anonymous collective has once again turned its attention to the Westboro Baptist Church.
On Sunday, the hacktivist group uploaded to Pastebin the names, phone numbers, and social security numbers of numerous people it said are members of Westboro Baptist Church, which is based in Topeka, Kan. The data dump also includes the names of multiple members' children and grandchildren.
The Anonymous outreach was fueled by Westboro members promising to picket the funerals of people killed last week at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. 

Can you imagine the audacity of this so-called Christian church picketing in a community that is grieving so badly?  It is truly sickening.   I imagine there are many who secretly (and vocally) applauded the efforts of Anonymous.  I don't agree with their approach at all, but the message they sent was very good. 
Check out this video Anonymous made for Westboro folks.  This is a very well-written message.  The computer voice is ever-so-creepy, too!   









Here is part of the message from Anonymous to Westboro Baptist Church:


“Since your one-dimensional thought protocol will conform not to any modern logic, we will not debate, argue, or attempt to reason with you. Instead, we have unanimously deemed your organization to be harmful and have therefore decided to execute an agenda of action which will progressively dismantle your institution of deceitful pretext and extreme bias, and cease when your zealotry runs dry.” From Anonymous – Message To The Westboro Baptist Church

I would not like to be the enemy of Anonymous.  Just sayin'....


One benefit of social media is that many heard about Westboro's plan to protest at funerals in Connecticut today.  Check out what happened:


Westboro Baptist Church Newton Funeral Protest Thwarted by Good Samaritans
Members of the quasi-religious group, Westboro Baptist Church, planned to gather in Connecticut to protest the funeral of Newtown, Conn., shooting victim Principal Dawn Hochsprung. However, Good Samaritans were already there to thwart any possible protest with a human wall.
The Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to picket Hochsprung's funeral on Wednesday in Woodbury, Conn., and "sing praise to God for the glory of his work in executing his judgment." The group has blamed the mass shooting on Connecticut's same-sex marriage legislation. On Dec. 14, 26 people were shot at Sandy Hook Elementary School, 20 of those victims included children ages 6 and 7.
Motorcylists lined up on Wednesday to protest the possible protesters. "All these guys see us and think we're bad. We're not. It's solidarity, is what it is," New York native Jim Hannigan told Newtown Patch. "I just felt I had to be here." 

Bravo to those who joined strangers to become a human wall to protest the disgusting efforts of Westboro Baptist!   I am so impressed by the power of those who stand shoulder to shoulder against a powerful force.  I kind of feel that some of you have been a human wall against spiritual abuse - especially those who have stood by me over the past 9+ months.  Thank you!  Your voices, prayers, support have been powerful!


Changing subjects, I followed blog hits and it looks like the recent developments regarding the Impostor Site are getting more publicity, perhaps not the kind of publicity in which was intended:

ToddRhoades.com has done an article on my former pastor's recent blog endeavors:  Pastor starts website to attack church's attackers


Additionally, Ken Silva of Apprising Ministries has published his second article on O'Neal:  TODD RHODES ON PASTOR CHUCK O’NEAL’S WEBSITE ATTACKING “CHURCH ATTACKERS”  Ironically, I remember learning about Ken Silva's discernment ministry site while attending BGBC.  

and a couple more sites which link back to the Rhoades.com article here:  Christian Research Network and Faithfulnews.com








photo credit: PhilBailey Photography via photopin cc

Monday, December 17, 2012

Who'da Thunk It?





Thus, I heal therefore I blog; I blog therefore I heal. ~Brad Sargent









A new milestone:  300,000 blog hits


Thank you for reading, for walking this journey with me, for learning along with me, for spreading the word about spiritual abuse.  It's not a pleasant topic, but it needs to be discussed.  I could never have imagined this nearly 9 months ago.  I thought my story would be over with the conclusion of the lawsuit, perhaps not.  




Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As Thou hast been,Thou forever wilt be.


Refrain:
Great is Thy faithfulness!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above;
Join with all nature in manifold witness,
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.
(Refrain)

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.
(Refrain)













photo credit: ClickFlashPhotos / Nicki Varkevisser via photopin cc

Sunday, December 16, 2012

SGM Flagship Church Covenant Life Church to Cut Ties with Sovereign Grace Ministries



Reports are just coming in from SGMSurvivors.com that members of Covenant Life Church under head pastor, Josh Harris, have voted to sever ties with their parent, Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM).

This is a very big decision.  Joshua Harris was mentored by SGM's president, C.J. Mahaney for several years before C.J. turned the reigns over to Josh as  pastor.  



Source

93% affirmation shows a solid majority wanting to change directions.    Good for them!   It will be interesting to see how this plays out with the SGM lawsuit.  
My hope and prayer is that they will throw away the SGM polity and start fresh with much more member involvement.  They will have a lot of work ahead of them, but this was a necessary start.  We need to pray for those folks as they maneuver unchartered waters on their own.





Saturday, December 15, 2012

She Was Not Alone


Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4


This story amidst pain and tragedy we have witnessed this week really touched me:






Heroes stay with mall shooting victim to the end: 'she did not die alone'
CLACKAMAS, Ore. - In the chaos of the shooting spree Tuesday at Clackamas Town Center, several people stayed with Cindy Ann Yuille, 54, who was shot and died at the scene.
Retired emergency room nurse Joan Smith of Milwaukie, Ore., was one of the people who worked to revive Yuille after shots rang out.
She said she wanted the family to know that Cindy was cared for until she passed away. "We had to stay with her," she said, even though it was unknown at the time where the shooter was or if they were safe.

This has been a difficult week.  We will never forget the senseless crime of the Newtown, Connecticut school shooting.  What a tragedy.  There was also a mall shooting at Clackamas Town Center in Oregon, near my old stomping grounds, in which two people were killed.   When I was in high school, Clackamas Town Center was newly built and I had to transfer buses there.  Many times my classmates and I would go in the mall for a quick snack at the food court where the murders took place.  It's so sad to think about.  

Earlier this week, I dealt with someone whose family member had threatened suicide.  The family member was not in a safe place and thankfully we were able to get this family some help.  It has weighed on my heart.  I've also thought about the Impostor Blog and the difficult exchanges we've had on the Wartburg Blog. It has been uncomfortable and has opened old wounds for me and also for some who have contacted me privately.  I am putting up some personal boundaries on that issue because I need to live life and enjoy the beauty around me:  my family, friends.  Please consider doing the same if you are getting triggered.  

I saw this news clip about two kind-hearted individuals who stayed with shooting victim, Cindy Ann Yuille, until she passed away.   This is what a victim's family would want to know:  did she die alone?   Cindy Ann Yuille did not die alone.  Two brave individuals, Joan Smith and Tony Charro, risked their lives while the shooter was still on the loose to attend a precious human being as she breathed her last breaths.  Even though they did not know this woman, they respected her, they cared for her, they demonstrated love to her and did not want her to be alone.  What a precious gift they gave.

I see that happening here as we share abuse stories.  One of the scariest things that abuse survivors feel is the feeling of being alone.  When I shared stories about the challenges of being single in the church, a common response was:  we feel so alone.   The love and support you show one another here - complete strangers - is wonderful.  I want to be intentional in my love and support of others who are going through difficulties and struggles.  

I don't ever want to lose the aspect of that beautiful gift God has given us - the gift of relationships, the gift of encouragement, care, and support.  Thank you for supporting me behind the scenes this week.  You know who you are.  



Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Impostor "True" BGBC Survivors Blog Site Created by Suing Pastor Chuck O'Neal

Just when I thought I had seen it all, there is a new twist in the Beaverton Grace Bible Church (BGBC) saga with Pastor Chuck O'Neal - you remember, the pastor who sued me and 4 others for $500K for defamation.  Ya know, us moms always know when our kids are up to no good when things are too quiet around the house.  Well, things have been a little too quiet around here and the kids have been caught.  The kids aka Pastor Chuck O'Neal and "those with him" have created a blog using the domain name bgbcsurvivors.org.  They are calling themselves True BGBC Survivors.  Who or what have they survived?  Us - the ones they sued.  HAHAHAHAHA  I'm sorry, I can't help myself sometimes and I must find some humor in this somewhere.


How did I find out about this new blog?  This morning, I received an e-mail from a reader mentioning "scripted videos".  I asked for clarification and was told about the comment from Anonymous.   Here are the screenshots: 











Beyond the initial laugh about the idea of a man who calls himself a pastor and church members being afraid of two moms and beginning an impostor blog, the reality is that spiritual abuse still continues.  I've spent a long time on this blog talking about signs of spiritual abuse.  When (if) you go to the impostor site, I think my brilliant readers will be able to spot some clear signs. 

I'm sure you've seen children's coloring books with hidden pictures, right?




I thought it might be a good test of our spiritual abuse detective skills to use that same concept and attempt to "find the wolf" or signs of spiritual abuse on the Impostor Blog.  But wait!!!  Let me give you some clues:   a master manipulator will suck people in emotionally - they do that by providing information that invokes an emotional response.  If you are able to separate yourself from that emotional tug, you will be able to more clearly see behavioral issues abusers use - the same behavioral issues that identify a:




WOLF!!!!!



I need to cut this short.  Tonight I'll be singing at a Christmas performance.  I am praising God that He has revealed His truth to me, that His love never fails,  that God does not bully us around, but his slow to anger and rich in love.  




* * * * Update 12/14/12:  Deb of The Wartburg Watch blog has done an article on this recent BGBC situation here:  (click on title)

Chuck O’Neal’s Church Launches ‘True BGBC Survivors’ Website



photo credit: akahodag via photopin cc

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Homeschool Movement: Michael Farris, Patrick Henry College and His Response to a LGBT Group



You all might feel like a yo-yo today because I'm going to go down an entirely different path today.  This post has to do with Michael Farris, but not about Reconstructionism or Patriarchy.   I did, however, think it was important to understand his background and also the vision of Patrick Henry College leading into today's article.  Today, we will be discussing the recent behavior of this Christian leader.  

If you were not able to read the previous two posts, we discussed about Michael Harris who founded Patrick Henry College, a conservative Christian college geared primarily for homeschooled students with a vision of impacting the world for Christ.  Presently he serves as Chancellor of Patrick Henry College (PHC).  For the record, I know a student who attended PHC.  This student had life-long goals of becoming an attorney and the school seemed to do well for him, as he recently passed his bar exam.  I'm sure there are fine professors there. 

Apparently there is an underground group that has formed and has connections with Patrick Henry College (PHC).   The LGBT group began a Facebook page and also a blog (QueerPHC) and Michael Farris found out about it.  The group used the name "Patrick Henry" in the title and that did not go over too well, to say the least.   

PHC has very clear policies regarding homosexuality in their student handbook:

We choose to limit our student body, board, and staff to those who are committed to our statement of faith. PHC is committed to a non-discriminatory policy in so far as it is consistent with our statement of faith. The practice of homosexual conduct or other extra-marital sexual relations is inconsistent with our faith position.
and

While we seek to avoid rules that suggest legalistic righteousness, for the good of institutional order and to convey a message that is consistent with the community we represent, we will always have student rules of conduct that will set us apart from the amoral, secular world. 


Here is a pledge students must adhere to:

We, the students of Patrick Henry College, fully aware of our daily dependence on the grace of God, commit to set ourselves apart in thought, word, and deed, to honor Jesus Christ, and to love our neighbor. We passionately aspire to live our best for the Lord by conducting ourselves in the spirit of Titus 2:11-12: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age.” 
Therefore, I pledge, by the grace of God, to submit to proper authorities, to be honest, to respect the property of others, and to speak edifying words. I will refrain from using any substances, such as alcohol, tobacco, and drugs, in any way prohibited by proper authority such as the government, church, family, or school. I will reserve sexual activity for marriage, shun sexually explicit material, and seek parental counsel when pursuing a romantic relationship. Finally, I will seek biblical resolution and reconciliation in my conflicts. I pledge to hold my fellow students accountable to these principles and ask that they do the same for me, in order that Jesus Christ might be honored and glorified.

And here are more specific guidelines referring to sexuality:

Students will not advocate non-Biblical sexual practices, such as extra-marital sex, homosexuality or homosexual “marriage” (e.g., Is 5:20, Romans 1:26-27). (Supporting a candidate for public office who advocates such practices does not in itself constitute the advocacy of such practices.) 
Jurisdiction: These Biblically-based standards apply to all PHC students at all times, both on and off campus, without exception; they are binding from enrollment until Commencement, even during the summer and College breaks.
Students will dress modestly out of consideration for one another.  Also, students will not dress in a way that will cause others to mistake them for a member of the other sex (e.g., 1 Tim 2:9; Deut 22:5).



So, evidently, this new LGBC blog began last summer and recently added a Facebook page.  This screenshot comes from the group's Facebook page:






Now, I don't want to get confused on issues here, but want to focus solely on the behavior we see by this homeschool and Christian leader.  It is perfectly within a private institution's right to enforce a code of conduct for their students.  If students sign some sort of commitment, the institution has every right to take appropriate measures to resolve the issue.  Patrick Henry College has very clear guidelines in their student handbook.  They make it very clear that the homosexual lifestyle is against the Biblical standards they adhere to.  I have no problem with that.  If I had my own college, I would also have a code of conduct and it might look similar to PHC's.

Image is very important to people.  That is understandable.   It makes sense that Farris would have an issue with a group using the name "Patrick Henry" in connection with "LGBT" because the LGBT lifestyle is contrary to the moral code of PHC and its core biblical beliefs.  But . . . . . how did Harris handle this conflict?  Because he demonstrated his behavior publicly, I am addressing it publicly.  

Part of the agenda on this blog is to point out patterns of behavior in church leaders or Christian authority figures that I find troubling, heavy-handed or even abusive.     

Let's take a look at the actions and behavior as a result of the LGBT blog and Facebook page.


Patrick Henry College is an institution which teaches students critical thinking skills.  Students are taught how to debate and argue with the finest, how to lobby and engage lawmakers.  They learn about First Amendment rights.  They are taught how to use the law for religious freedoms and homeschool freedoms, but apparently only when it lines up with their morality.  PHC does not like the freedom some of their students have exercised in forming their own online groups outside the school campus.  In fact, the powers that be at PHC  blocked the LGBT group's blog from the school servers.  Take a look at what happens when you try to access the site:




Source




Did PHC not realize that by censoring, they were actually promoting the site?  This is titillating news for students.  Most likely the news of this banned site was spread far more than if they had ignored it.  A school that teaches students how to debate is afraid of a little conflict and censors?  Rather than banning the site, they could have used it as a discussion tool.  Let's not forget that most of these students are adults.  Oy!  Moving right along.  

So, not only was the site censored, Chancellor Michael Farris publicly posted a comment on their Facebook wall threatening legal action:










Ok, this comment touched a big nerve with me.  As most of my readers are aware, my former pastor bullied me, trying to force me to take down my blog by not only threatening to sue me, but by actually filing a defamation lawsuit against me and four others who commented on my blog or elsewhere.   I want to be clear that I'm talking about behavior of this key leader.  What does God's word have to say to do if you have a problem with someone?  How are you to handle this kind of situation?  

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
(Matthew 18:15-17 ESV)


In light of this passage that any seasoned Christian would know, I wondered if Farris had made any attempt to contact this group privately either on their blog or Facebook page before publicly posting his comment above, so I sent a private message via Facebook to "Kate" from the group.  Here is my quick note and the response from Kate:







The bloggers had this public response to Farris' legal threat:

There’s not much to add, except that our message is intrinsically tied to the name Patrick Henry College. We are students of Patrick Henry College. We share about our experiences at Patrick Henry College. We reach out to other students at Patrick Henry College. The demand that we stop using the school’s name is really a thinly disguised demand that we shut up.

Snark meter is in full throttle now:  You don't imagine I'd have personal Freedom of Speech issues, would I?  Yes, it appears that Mr. Farris doesn't like people exercising their rights to Free Speech.  So, let me get this straight, when First Amendment rights benefits Mr. Farris and his agenda, he uses it, but when it conflicts with his agenda or morals, he gets to act like a bully and threaten someone with a lawsuit.   Where's the love, Mr. Farris?


These students are not dumb.  They sought legal assistance with Public Citizen who also reported this story:

The students reached out to Public Citizen for assistance, and before drafting a letter in response to his threat, I called Farris to inquire whether he was represented by counsel. Within a few minutes, Farris had posted on his Facebook page a retraction of this threats, saying in tortured English that “while we believe in the inappropriate nature of the use of our trademarked name, litigation is not appropriate.” (The retraction may also have been the result of an inquiry from New York Magazine).



Farris must have had a big reality check with that response and issued this retraction on the group's Facebook page:





Well, yes, Mr. Farris, litigation is not appropriate.  But the most inappropriate part of this whole ordeal was your behavior.  The issue of lawsuits is discussed plainly in Romans.  Christians should not be suing one another.  Why were you so quick to take this situation public in the civil courts when you failed to address the conflict appropriately or in a biblical fashion?  

This really brought back flashbacks of my lawsuit.  Can you imagine being a young student and then the top leader from your school threatening you with a lawsuit - without ever having spoken to you to work it out?  This is bully behavior.  I feel very bad for those current and former students who were threatened like that.  This should not have happened.  

My pastor did not like me exercising my right to free speech.   My speaking out and naming his name and church's name tarnished the image.  He used all sorts of methods to shut me down, removed Google reviews, and eventually filing a lawsuit.  He was concerned about his image and reputation and used inappropriate methods of dealing with the conflict.  He refused to try to work out our grievances one on one, with an arbitrator, but instead took it to the public arena, going against scripture in filing a lawsuit against Believers.  

I have one question for Mr. Farris:  how would Christ have handled this situation?  Would he have gone public or threatened a lawsuit?  I don't think so.

Telling a group of people that you are going to sue them is not kind and loving, especially if you have not made any effort to connect.   In an attempt to keep the image of PHC untarnished, he behaved like a bully. I'm glad he has retracted his statement; however, the appropriate response would have been a public apology.  

After I hit "publish", I will tweet this article and tag HSLDA and Patrick Henry College.  Please do the right thing, Mr. Farris, it's never too late to apologize.   




Here are more links on this situation: