Showing posts with label Calvary Chapel Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Calvary Chapel Abuse. Show all posts

Friday, November 9, 2012

Calvary Chapel Visalia Pastor Bob Grenier is Helping Which Victims?




"It's hard on your soul to see the pain and the destruction," said Pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel in Visalia.




This is another one of those things that make you go "hmmmmm."

Remember Pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel Visalia?  Pastor Bob Grenier and his wife, Gayle, are suing their own son and a former church member for defamation, etc.  Let me remind you of a few key points- - this is the same pastor who was deep into a lifestyle of drugs,  was miraculously saved, and entered full-time ministry in SIX days (whoa - that's some seminary training!).   

God is clear in His word about how important family relationships are, especially those in leadership, yet on Pastor Grenier's page at the Calvary Chapel Visalia church website, there is no mention of Bob or Gayle's children.  This is what I reported earlier:


In the bio, you see his wife, Gayle, mentioned, but there is no mention of any children.  I've never seen a bio of a pastor not mention children and even possibly grandchildren.   Why would he leave out the names of his children?  Calvary Chapel is all about families.  Take a look at the website to see all the children's ministries.  Why would he fail to mention his own children   . . . .unless there was a problem???  Is this another red flag?  


We know that scripture is pretty clear that Christians ought not be suing other Christians:  


When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!
(1 Corinthians 6:1-8 ESV)



Well, evidently Pastor Bob Grenier is "special" just like my former pastor.  All of the verses in the Bible do not apply to "special" pastors, you see.   And don't you think it's strange that other pastors in Pastor Bob Grenier's Calvary Chapel group of pastors don't speak out publicly against Bob Grenier's behavior?  I tell you, there are strange happenings among church "leaders".  

But now we come to this.  Less than a month from filing a lawsuit against brothers in Christ (including son, Alex), Pastor Bob Grenier is now focusing on victims.  Isn't that nice?  Wait a minute?  Victims?  Which victims is he focusing on?  

He seems to have forgotten about these victims:  Calvary Chapel Pastor Pastor Bob Grenier: Stories of Abuse As Told by His Children, but instead wants to focus on Hurricane Sandy victims.  How sweet.  So the victims who are in close proximity to him, who he has rubbed shoulders with for years don't matter, but somehow his heart is moved by the victims of Hurricane Sandy?   Alrighty, then.  I see how that works.
  





Source




Take a look at the the interview here with Pastor Bob Grenier and how he talks about the pain and destruction incurred by Hurricane Sandy Victims.  I wonder if the reporter who interviewed him knew about how Pastor Bob Grenier has treated his own church members, employees and family members?  Probably not.  KMPH FOX 26 | Central San Joaquin Valley News Source 


VISALIA, Calif. (KMPH) -
Although we're more than three thousand miles away, people here in Valley are stepping up to care for Sandy victims. 
A South Valley pastor plans to help restore hope in those coping with the devastation.
"It's hard on your soul to see the pain and the destruction," said Pastor Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel in Visalia. 
He volunteered to join a network of pastors across California. 
They'll travel to Ocean Grove, New Jersey to feed mouths and souls of those left with nothing.
"When people have lost all their material things, they're devastated also emotionally. So being able to come alongside a person who's lost everything, and just love them and express care and concern for them is a real boost in the moment. But to be able to follow that up with practical help, those two things together can make a huge difference," said Pastor Bob.

But wait, there's more:

But he knows people in New Jersey need more than just food and shelter to re-group. While he's there, he hopes to also help restore their faith. 
"It's just hard for your soul to be exposed to tragedy," said the pastor.

The article lists Calvary Chapel Visalia to send donations and says that 100% of the donations will get to Sandy victims.  Ok, yada, yada, yada, but this is the kind of thing that just rubs me wrong:

"When people have lost all their material things, they're devastated also emotionally. So being able to come alongside a person who's lost everything, and just love them and express care and concern for them is a real boost in the moment."
"It's hard on your soul to see the pain and the destruction,"
"It's just hard for your soul to be exposed to tragedy," said the pastor. 

Dear Pastor Bob Grenier:  
I'm trying to connect with you, Pastor Bob, but there's just this little thing in the way.  It's hard on my soul to see how you have failed to address the multitudes of people who have brought to your attention issues of spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse - - victims from your very own family, church, and church employees.  To see your "heart" moved for victims of the hurricane sounds all sweet, but when you fail to deal with those whom God has placed right in your path, what message are you sending?  

I will be straight with you.  I believe you are a hypocrite.  I believe this Hurricane Sandy focus is a PR stunt to make you look good among your peers and the world in an attempt to divert the focus off the ridiculous lawsuit.  Stay home.  People whose families and lives are in order can help Hurricane Sandy victims.  Withdraw the lawsuit.  Tell your wife, Gayle, to restore her relationship with her son, Alex and his wife, and her precious grandchildren.  Get reconciled with your family.  Get reconciled with the people of your church.  Be done with this farce.  It is only making you look more foolish.  

Julie Anne


for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.
(1 Timothy 3:5-6 ESV)


Please take note of signs of spiritual abuse:  preoccupation with image (narcissism), damage control, extra-Biblical rules (he gets to sue), etc.  It's easy to extend care and love to those who you don't rub shoulders with all the way on the East coast, but it is a leader's responsibility to make sure his own home is in order.  This house is a mess.  Watch these patterns.



As a side note:  Alex and Tim, defendants in the lawsuit are surely going through an emotional ordeal at this moment with regard to their lawsuit.   They are just like you and me - normal family folk but are forced to retain an attorney to defend themselves from someone I believe to be a spiritual tyrant.  If you are able to donate anything to help the cause, I know it would be greatly appreciated.  Just an FYI - when I was looking for my attorney, retainer fees ranged from $3,000 to $10,000 just to start.  I don't know about you, but most people I know can't write out a check for that amount.   If you feel led, please go over to:  Calvary Chapel Abuse and click on the Paypal donation button on top left side of the screen.  



Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Rant: When Do Church Pastors/Leaders Call Civil Authorities?

Blogger Alex Grenier of Calvary Chapel Abuse published an article about former NBA player and Calvary Chapel member, Nick VanderLaan.  I have highlighted important points below. Take a look at the whole article here.



http://ephesians511blog.blogspot.com/2012/10/calvary-chapel-arrested-member-warning.html


Former NBA player Nick VanderLaan, a recent money-giving member of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, tells his story of being detained against his will and then arrested for speaking out at a meeting to question the presence of the controversial Ergun Caner.
He attended a special meeting at CCCM featuring Ergun Caner as the guest-speaker. Previous to the meeting, Nick expressed his concern to CCCM Leadership, believing he had the right and responsibility to do so as a giving member of the Church. His concerns were basically ignored.
At the meeting, Nick stood up to challenge Caner’s presence. He was non-violent and merely spoke out and spoke up. Calvary Chapel Leadership knew who he was. Nick and his family were known quantities, attended a trip to Israel with Chuck Smith, counseled with pastors there, dedicated their kid at the CCCM pulpit etc etc.
He was immediately surrounded and detained by the Calvary Chapel goon squad (my opinion, my description of the security guards and CC personnel based off of their subsequent actions).
The goon squad cuffed Nick up, took him to another part of the church, denied him bathroom and water and detained him against his will for a prolonged period of time.
Santa Ana police arrived later and arrested and charged Nick.


This incident was not during a church service, but during a conference.  In the 36-second YouTube recording below, you can hear Ergun Caner seemingly inviting audience response by his words:  "So if you've got a problem with me, hit me up and tell me what I did wrong."

VanderLaan's response was: "I have a problem with you.  You're a liar, you're a fraud,  you need to repent."







Some might not find VanderLaan's method appropriate.   Some pastors have complained to me about my blogging.  Oh well.  Speaking out against against abuse is a subject that many find uncomfortable, but there is biblical precedent.  And if those in authority are ignoring issues, we might see more of this kind of response.



The District Attorney eventually dismissed the case, but I'm sure it came with a cost to the VanderLaan family.  You can find attorney's letters, police report, court records and the complete story at Ephesians 5:11 Blog.



But as I was reading this article, what struck me was how fast police were involved in this situation.  As we've been reading about so many abuse cases where pastors or church leaders refuse to report crimes (including cases at Calvary Chapel), look how fast they reported this church disruption as a CRIME by getting civil authorities involved and consequently Nick arrested.  


So disrupting a conference is worse than child rape or sodomy, or spousal abuse?  Give me a break, people.  I see how it is - they call the police when it benefits them, but when there are real crimes like sex abuse in the church or spousal abuse, they do NOT call authorities at all.   It makes me sick - BLECH!


* * * Update:  Nov 5, 2012:  I was just sent a link giving more background information on Ergun Caner which helps to explain why Nick felt justified to speak out at the meeting.








Friday, October 19, 2012

Is Calvary Chapel Visalia Pastor Bob Grenier Tweeting about Lawsuit?

Look at Pastor Bob Grenier's tweet he sent out yesterday -  the same day that the lawsuit was filed/public.   Do you suppose there is a hidden message to anyone or did that verse just "happen" to come to him?  








Calvary Chapel Visalia Pastor Bob Grenier Files Lawsuit against Son and Former Church Member

Hang on to your seats, folks, this seems to be the week for church lawsuits!   I have covered this Calvary Chapel story recently and now it is a reality.  The first link shares personal accounts by Pastor Bob Grenier's children and is a must read:

Calvary Chapel Pastor Pastor Bob Grenier: Stories of Abuse As Told by His 
Children

Alex Grenier Responds to Notice of Imminent Lawsuit by Calvary Chapel Visalia & Pastor Bob Grenier



Here is a new article that was published today in the Fresno Bee.  

****New response from defendant Alex Grenier below



Visalia pastor sues son over 'cyberbullying'
 - The Fresno Bee
Visalia Calvary Church pastor, the Rev. Bob Grenier, and his wife, Gayle, have sued their estranged son, Alex Grenier, accusing him of defamation and cyberbullying.
Alex Grenier, 40, launched the website Calvarychapelabuse.com more than two years ago and posted accusations that his father committed felony child abuse against him and his three brothers while pretending to be an upstanding preacher and police chaplain.
But Bob Grenier said Thursday that he and his wife have had enough of their son's "online hate campaign" against them and are suing to stop their son and to tell their side in court.
"Alex has orchestrated a cyberbullying campaign against me, his mother, our church and our movement," Bob Grenier said. "We do not want to live with this kind of cyberbullying."
Alex Grenier, who lives in Idaho, said he will not back down. "He frames it as a hate campaign. It's not defamation. We'll prove it in court that it's not defamation. The stuff I'm alleging is true."
Alex Grenier said he has not yet seen the lawsuit and does not have a lawyer. He said he will represent himself for now.
"The real 'hate campaign' has been going on for over 30 years at Calvary Chapel Visalia and in our home at the hands of pastor and Visalia Police Department Chaplain Bob Grenier," he said in an email.
Bob Grenier's lawyer, Nick Pritchett of Visalia, said he does not expect the lawsuit to settle out of court. In February, a trial date will be set for later in 2013, he said.
The lawsuit filed Wednesday in Tulare County Superior Court also named Tim Taylor of Visalia, a former Calvary Church member who, the lawsuit said, libeled Bob Grenier in online statements submitted anonymously.
Attempts to reach Taylor for comment were unsuccessful.
Besides libel and slander, the lawsuit alleges that both Alex Grenier and Taylor engaged in intentional infliction of emotional distress of the pastor and his wife.
"Something has to stop him," said Gayle Grenier, 61. "We can't keep being slandered. It's no way to live, and it's been going on for years. My son needs to be stopped."
Bob Grenier, 65, has been the pastor at Visalia Calvary Church for 34 years. Alex Grenier is his stepson whom he has helped raise since Alex was 3 years old.
The lawsuit does not name stepson Geoff Grenier or the couple's biological son, Paul Grenier, who are also estranged from their parents. Reached by phone, Paul Grenier said he last saw his father eight years ago and backs his brother Alex. "I witnessed what he witnessed," Paul Grenier, 30, said.
The accusations of abuse broke two years ago in The Bee. Alex Grenier contended that his father beat the boys so badly that the punishment went beyond what is legally acceptable.
"We aren't talking gray area here," he wrote in one post. "Clear cut state-defined abuse including, but not limited to, hitting with objects causing deep purple bruises on the lower back, backs of legs and buttocks. Drawing blood."
Alex and Paul went to Visalia police two years ago and filed a complaint on the alleged abuse.
The statute of limitations is three years for felony physical abuse of a child; the alleged incidents took place in the 1980s and 1990s.
Bob Grenier said he and his wife will address the accusations of abuse in court.
"We've remained silent for eight years," he said. "The purpose (of the lawsuit) is to bring clarification -- the truth -- to these matters."

Folks, we need to be praying for Alex and Tim as they face this difficult ordeal.  Alex has been blogging about his own abuse provides a forum at Calvary Chapel Abuse to discuss these issues.  The issues of abuse reach further than this specific case.  in reading countless personal stories there, we can see a systemic problem throughout Calvary Chapel churches.  The world is watching now.

I am in touch with Alex and others and will keep you posted as this story continues.




* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

UPDATE 10/19/12  8:33 AM PACIFIC:  Defendant, Alex Grenier, responds to the lawsuit here:


Here are a couple key paragraphs:

I have spoken out publicly and consistently about many abuses by Bob Grenier and Calvary Chapel…including the child abuse, the molestation, the corruption, pill addiction/abuse, telling a Calvary Chapel mother to not report child molestation of her daughters to authorities, cult-like counseling, bullying/harassing of female staff, lying, manipulating etc etc etc.
There are many errors in the lawsuit, the biggest being that my speaking out publicly and exercising my First Amendment Free Speech Rights to deal with these serious issues that are in the Public Interest is “not” defamation/libel and my consistently speaking out and warning people and calling publicly for accountability in these matters is “not” a “hate campaign” nor is it “cyberbullying” no matter how many times Bob repeats it in his lawsuit.
If Bob Grenier and by extension Calvary Chapel (who he represents as an Affiliated Pastor) are allowed to get away with framing Free Speech, Whistleblowing and exposing abuse and corruption in the church as a “hate campaign” and “cyberbullying” and “defamation/libel”…then the Chilling Effect it will have on others is extremely frightening. This is a very important matter. If those who wield the Power of Public Figure and Position of Trust Pastor/Chaplain are allowed to win frivolous lawsuits in an attempt to cover over their bad actions and silence victims and critics and watchdogs, then beware, you might be next…and the result will be the covering over and enabling of much more abuse and corruption within the “church” and it will make it easier for Children to be abused and molested.



Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Alex Grenier Responds to Notice of Imminent Lawsuit by Calvary Chapel Visalia & Pastor Bob Grenier



Alex Grenier of Calvary Chapel News has written an excellent article on the possible impending lawsuit and has given me permission to republish it here.   You better believe I am emotionally drawn into this case as it was 7 months ago that I received the subpoena for my defamation lawsuit brought on by my former pastor and church.

Alex has been blogging far longer than me.  I've been reading his blog and have noted a few things.   In cases of abuse like this, it's very easy to let anger get the best of you and even consume you.  I don't see that here.  I do see a righteous anger.  I also see is a man who wants the truth to be exposed and justice to be served.  I see a man very concerned that others might endure the same abuse he and others have experienced.  This is not ranting.  This is not an obsession, this is LOVE.  And Alex is willing to go the extra mile regardless of how long the court process takes.

On Alex's blog site, there is a "Prayer" tab in which Alex had written a prayer.  Tell me, is this from a man filled with hate and bitterness?  This is not about a hate campaign or a man with a personal vendetta as we will read about below in Alex's article.  You be the judge:


September 29, 2011 at 9:01 am
God I pray your will is done in this situation.
I pray for my Mom and brothers and even for Bob, that he’ll come clean and truly repent.
I pray for the attitudes and hearts of Chuck Smith and Calvary Chapel, that one of “Refuse Collector” will be changed to one of compassion for those who have been hurt by Calvary Chapel Pastors and situations. May they model the heart of Jesus who would never see this blog or any of us as part of a “Refuse Collector” but as hurt saints and sinners who need the Reconciliation and Truth your Word promises…instead of the cold Stone Wall of CC.
I pray that justice and accountability for Church Leadership be done, following your instructions from your servant Paul the Apostle.
I pray you have mercy on me a sinner. I am guilty of so much sin myself. Convict me of sin, give me the gift of repentance and give me belief in your Son Jesus Christ our Messiah.

Again, your will be done. Praise and glory to you, my Good Father. 

Alex wrestled with his own family demons by himself until he saw the destruction outside of his family and knew he must get involved.  That is exactly at the point where I said enough was enough and wrote my first Google review.  But Alex went big guns and started a blog first, and it grew very quickly as others around the country shared their stories and experiences at other Calvary Chapel churches and noticed abusive trends among the leaders.  The Calvary Chapel News blog is a place where those who have suffered under abusive leadership may document their story.  

In Alex's article below, he mentions the anti-SLAPP (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation) law.  Let me explain a little about the anti-SLAPP that Alex refers to here.  My attorney used the anti-SLAPP law in my case.  The anti-SLAPP law was created to help prevent frivolous lawsuits against people who are trying to shut down people like bloggers, etc,  whose speech is protected by law.  Because there is no discovery/subpoenas, etc, allowed in an anti-SLAPP lawsuit, the process is expedited.  My case lasted four months from receipt of subpoena to the judge's ruling.  Once an attorney files an anti-SLAPP motion, all discovery is stayed which means that no one can be interrogated or subpoenaed or deposed for more information.  The judge has to take what information is presented in the original complaint and responses and in the hearings to make a ruling.  A normal civil court case is lengthy and can last 2-3 years.  Depositions, getting subpoenas and confiscating personal files, records is a very time-consuming process.  Alex is willing to forego the Anti-SLAPP in favor of a civil court hearing.  I agree with his decision and will explain why.

In Alex's case and in mine,  a favorable anti-SLAPP ruling only allows us to continue blogging.  The anti-SLAPP protects our right to speak out publicly about our church experiences.  It, however, does not address the key issues that Alex is exposing (or I exposed).   With my favorable ruling, I am free to continue to publicly expose/discuss my former pastor and church, but O'Neal is still free to pastor the same church, continue the same extra-Biblical nonsense of Marking and Avoiding congregants, teach the practice of shuning life-long friends/family members and even extended family members, etc.  What I believe to be blatant spiritual abuse continues at BGBC.  That has not changed, sadly.

Alex wants to go further than that.  He wants justice served.  He doesn't want any more abuse to continue.  He is ready and prepared.  Alex's situation with Calvary Chapel Visalia represents one of many stories in the Calvary Chapel "family" of churches.  It will be a precedent-setting case and many eyes will be watching.  This case has potential to shake up the core of Calvary Chapel and the way they do "business".  I hope it is a wake-up call to others who have spiritual tyrants in positions of authority at churches.  

Alex and friends from CC, I stand with you!  ~ja
(Alex's post follows)




For the LORD gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
guarding the paths of justice
and watching over the way of his saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice
and equity, every good path;
for wisdom will come into your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
discretion will watch over you,
understanding will guard you,
delivering you from the way of evil,
from men of perverted speech,
who forsake the paths of uprightness
to walk in the ways of darkness,
who rejoice in doing evil
and delight in the perverseness of evil,
men whose paths are crooked,
and who are devious in their ways.
(Proverbs 2:6-15 ESV)






If Bob Grenier and Calvary Chapel backs out of their Defamation Lawsuit threat, it's an admission of guilt in my opinion (plus some final appeals)
by Alex Grenier


Bob Grenier and Calvary Chapel Visalia have recently stated they will be filing a lawsuit in Tulare County for “defamation” according to their attorney Nick Pritchett of Williams, Jordan, Brodersen and Pritchett, a small Visalia, California law firm.  

If Bob Grenier and Calvary Chapel backs out, doesn’t follow through, puts up the Stone Wall once again…it’s an admission of guilt in my opinion.

If they follow through, here’s what I believe is coming and here’s some insight to what I’m preparing…also a couple of last appeals to Bob before this gets past a point of no return.
First one of the appeals to Bob:
Drop the others from the lawsuit. Don’t re-victimize Tina Jenkins, Edna Silva and Not Alone. You’ve hurt them enough already. If it’s a fight you want, I pledge not to anti-SLAPP you if you drop the others…and I’ll give you all the fight you want in civil court. We’ll drag this whole stinking carcass into the public record and let a judge/jury decide who is righteous since the Church has shunned their moral/spiritual responsibility in these matters. We can both depose and cross-examine the aforementioned as witnesses and you take your shot there. Besides, it’s a waste of the good-givers and tithers money at Calvary Chapel Visalia for you to waste their money attacking the others when your lawyer Nick Pritchett knows good and well (or should know) that you’ll get anti-SLAPP’d and that Jesus Money you collect each Sunday will go to pay off the others’ attorneys and expenses. Save some of Jesus’s money and drop the others.
As to the lawsuit if Bob and Calvary Chapel don’t chicken out…from the info I’ve collected from Bob Apologists and CC cast-offs, I believe I have a pretty clear understanding of Camp Bob’s Narrative and Offense/Defense that they’ll present to the court (and to the Calvary Chapel Association to save face and save their Dove):
These are some of the key talking points I’ve learned/observed/heard:
“It’s a Private Family Matter”
“Alex is engaged in a Hate Campaign against his step-father in an effort to take him down”
“This is a Vendetta engineered by a media professional”
“Alex has bad character”
etc etc etc.
Appeals to Motive and Character. That will be the theme of the Camp Bob Narrative.
It’ll probably go something like this:
“Alex is a bitter vindictive step-son who has engineered a Hate Campaign to take down his step-dad. He has rallied a small group of malcontents who had beef with Bob Grenier and reason to lie about him to support Alex’s Hate Campaign. Alex’s brothers are ‘helping a brother out’ and lying for him as well. This whole thing is a malicious conspiracy to take Bob down. The brothers are motivated by their hatred of Bob and the former employees are disgruntled, etc. Who wouldn’t have a few disgruntled people after over 30 years in ministry? We’ll admit Bob may have been a jerk at times, but he did not do the things that these malicious malcontents are saying in Alex’s Hate Campaign. Regarding the supposed child abuse that Bob confessed to the Calvary Chapel Visalia Board, there are mitigating circumstances, Geoff was a danger to the others, he was hopped up on steroids and Bob had to punch him out to protect himself and the family. No other abuse ever happened in the home as many others testify” …or something similar.
Appeals to Motive seem to be a biggie so far.
Then they’ll appeal to Character and assail the character of all involved.
“Alex can’t be trusted. He has past moral failings. He has had some business disputes. He used to say how wonderful Bob was. He accepted a loan from Bob to start his business. He accepted food and shelter from Bob, etc. etc. Alex’s brothers have bad character, moral failings, are ‘scoundrels’ etc. The Aunt who says she witnessed abuse hates Bob and has a grudge. The former employees have bad character, moral failings, are disgruntled etc. and none of them are reliable in their testimony.”
If the Judge allows it to be partially about Character and Motive, I’ll present a different Narrative.
I’ll appeal to Bob’s (and Camp Bob’s) Character and Motive as well.
Bob was a former drug dealer and drug smuggler. He’s an un-convicted, un-caught felon, the only thing that keeps him from being a felon is that he was able to dodge prosecution for those crimes.
Bob claims there was a “miracle” in his life and he’s a changed man. However, Bob didn’t really change, just his bad character changed from one set of bad things to another set of bad things.
I’ll go on to present evidence that Bob went from having a street drug problem to a prescription drug problem. I’ll depose a CC pastor who will testify that he witnessed Bob “stoned on pills” on mission’s trips and that Bob confessed a pill problem with him in the mid 1980′s (during a time we were being abused terribly). I’ll depose witnesses from CCV that saw Bob acting strange, speaking weird, that he seemed to have been on the influence of pills and even stated that he had taken something. I’ll depose family witnesses who will testify that Bob took too many pills to get high.
I’ll then transition into a variety of other character issues and depose witnesses who will present testimony to Bob’s temper, his bullying, his lying, his manipulation, his cult-like counseling, his attempts to get a mother not to report child molestation to authorities etc, etc.
Then we’ll get into the financial issues. That’ll be a real interesting area. Don’t want to disclose too much here, but I can guarantee you, we’ll be on this one for awhile and depositions and discovery will be a hoot and the net will be cast wide and the things we’ll confirm….this part may cross over from civil to criminal, we’ll see.
I’ll conclude with the child abuse and Paul’s molestation allegations. With regards to the child abuse, I’ll depose those directly involved and other witnesses to the abuse. I’ll depose Glen C. and his testimony that Bob confessed punching Geoff out to his Board, but the Board didn’t take action, covered it up, didn’t report (and CCV is a mandatory reporter). Witnesses will testify that much child abuse happened after that Board inaction…not only victims of the abuse but outside witnesses post-confession.
I’ll depose Paul and put his molestation allegations on the record. It’ll be tough and emotional, I don’t look forward to that one.
I’ll present testimony that Bob had me shower naked with him and testimony from witnesses that Bob made it a regular habit of walking around naked in front of us as children/teens while in our home, genitals exposed.
I’ll present Bob’s testimony of his same-sex encounter at boarding school in his book.
There will be a few bombshell witnesses, and I don’t want to disclose too much, but I have a witness who will testify to what so far look like some pretty big inconsistencies in Bob’s version of his own history in his book.
To Motive. Why would Bob lie? Why would my Mom and Bobby Jr. lie for him? Why would the Dowds cover for him?
Money. Power. Influence.
Calvary Chapel Visalia is a money making machine. It’s also a powerful entity and provides a group of followers, a stage, platform and fame, etc.
In discovery we’ll show how much money CCV makes. We’ll show how much Bob and my Mom benefit financially from CCV. We’ll show how much money the Dowds make from CCV. We’ll show how CCV employs and gives benefits to Bob’s daughter-in-law who is Bobby Jr’s wife (Bobby Jr’s household is paid by CCV).
There is huge motive to lie and cover up abuses. If Bob loses his throne, the golden goose of the CCV money-making machine is cooked and his inner-circle loses money, power, influence as well.
I’ll also counter Camp Bob’s Narrative of my motive and my character and counter Bob’s version of the motive and character of all the others.
Very good counter-narrative, but I want to save some for the trial.
It’s not a “hate campaign” and a grand-conspiracy against Bob and it’s not just a small group who he’s hurt and keeps hurting and Bob is not a janitor, he’s a highly influential and powerful public figure in Positions of Trust. It’s in the public interest to deal with these things.
Bob’s actions and the church’s non-action in dealing with these issues in a just manner are responsible for this being public, not a conspiracy “hate campaign”.
The defamation claims will be easy to address and will pretty much be covered in all of the above.
There’s a lot more to it all, and I’m preparing to address these things well beyond what I’ve presented here…but that gives you a taste.
There are many witnesses who will be deposed who have not been mentioned who have some very interesting testimony.
I won’t leave any stone unturned in depositions or discovery. I know this situation like Hawking knows physics.
So, Bob, if you chicken out of your defamation suit, it sure looks like an admission of guilt to me (and many others).
Bring it and let’s get it on and get this stuff out in the open and dealt with.
ONE FINAL APPEAL: Bob, your other option is to confess, repent, come clean and seek reconciliation and get help for your many issues and ask for mercy. True repentance begins with acknowledging the sin and admitting you have a problem. You still may have to suffer some consequences for your sin, I can’t guarantee you won’t, but I’m pretty sure the consequences will be worse if you keep digging in.
Bob, stop this nonsense. Come forward and confess and repent. I’ll then help you to make amends, and help you ask for mercy, even though you may have to suffer some consequences, but it will go better for my Mom and your wife if you do the right thing now without this going further.
Call me, you know how to reach me.



Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Calvary Chapel Pastor Pastor Bob Grenier: Stories of Abuse As Told by His Children

'What brings a person to ruin?  It’s simple.  It’s a one-word concept given to us in the Bible.  It’s called “sin.”  You see, one thing that people have in common is the problem of sin.' . . . Pastor Bob Grenier, A Common Miracle








After reading story after story of misconduct, abuse, cover-ups, it makes me wonder - - - - did Pastor Bob Grenier actually read the quote he wrote above?  It's mind-boggling when one can clearly see sin in the lives of others, call it out, yet completely miss it in their own life.  

Last week, I published an article about the impending defamation lawsuit between Calvary Chapel Visalia/Pastor Bob and Gayle Grenier and Alex Grenier and 4 others listed.  Today I am spotlighting the Bob Grenier family and the abuse that Alex and others have alleged on the Calvary Abuse blog.  


I thought I was getting emotionally tugged into the Calvary Chapel Visalia story because of the potential lawsuit, but as I've been digging deeper, I've discovered that our stories have quite a few similarities.  In fact, I was so shocked that we had so many strange coincidences, I sent Alex an e-mail listing some of them - also advising him to play creepy music in the background while reading (being a musician, all emotional events require background music, you see).  Here, I'll give you something to play while reading.  It's only 29 seconds long:







Things Julie Anne has in common with Alex: 
parents divorced 
raised by step-dads who abused us our entire childhood 
step-dads played drums
lived in Oregon and California
have suffered spiritual abuse
maintain blogs dealing with abuse in the church 
have been sued (or about to be sued)
family connections in Visalia

Isn't that crazy?  I'm still shaking my head.

Going back to Alex's blog, it seemed pretty evident in reading the countless stories that there was a clear pattern of abuse, denial, illegal activities, cover-ups, with accounts from many people, not just Alex and his family members.  

Alex shared with me a bit of the family background:

My mom was 'saved' in the Church Tent Jesus Movement days of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa (Lonnie Frisbee, Chuck Smith, etc). My real dad was a hippy drummer and he was 'saved' in the Tent as well. Both were druggie hippies saved in the very early days of the Calvary Chapel Movement.

Alex's parents were married.  Alex was born first and one year later, his brother, Geoff.  His parents had marital difficulties and ended up divorcing when Alex was around 3 or 4 years of age.  After the divorce, Alex's mom, Gayle, moved and eventually ended up at the Shiloh Commune in Dexter, Oregon.  Shiloh was called a "hippy commune".


Wikipedia describes Shiloh Commune:

The Shiloh Youth Revival Centers movement was the largest Jesus People communal movement in the United States in the 1970s. Founded by John Higgins in 1968 as a small communal house – House of Miracles – in Costa Mesa, CA, the movement quickly grew to a very large movement catering mostly to disaffected college-age youth. There were over 100,000 people involved and 175 communal houses established during its lifespan.
Two years after the movement's founding, Higgins and some of the core members of the movement bought 90 acres (360,000 m2) of land near Dexter, Oregon and built a new headquarters which they called "The Land". The movement grew quickly until the mid-1970s when increasing competition and high turn-over rates likely slowed its growth.  

It was at the Shiloh Commune where Gayle met Bob Grenier.  Bob had recently been "saved" after being a drug dealer and drug smuggler.  This is detailed in his book, A Common Miracle.


Bob and Gayle married when Alex was 5 years old.  They left Shiloh Commune and moved to Eugene, Oregon, where Bob pastored Calvary Chapel Eugene for a brief period of time.  Alex remembers his first instance of child abuse not long after they were married and recounts the story here:  Jar of Change.


Bob eventually met Chuck Smith, founder of Calvary Chapel, and accepted the pastorate at Visalia, CA.    This was around 1977.  


When Alex was 10 years old, Paul was born (parents Bob and Gayle)  One year later, Robert/Bobby Jr. was born.  So, the Grenier children include:  Alex and Geoff (from Gayle's prior marriage), then ten years later, Paul and then Robert, Jr., (Bobby)  from the marriage of Bob and Gayle.


The abuse continued for Alex - the worst period was from ages 10 yrs through high school.   According to Alex, Bob would lose his temper and physically abuse.


WARNING:  Beyond this point, I will sharing personal accounts of physical abuse and it is quite disturbing.   If this is a trigger for you, please do not read further.   ~ja






Alex describes the abuse he incurred here:

I have personally witnessed and been the victim of the physical child abuse.    We aren’t talking gray area here…clear cut State-defined abuse including, but not limited to:   hitting with objects causing deep purple bruises on the lower back, backs of legs and buttocks.    Drawing blood.     Hitting in the face full force with the palm of the hand.      Hitting in the face with a closed fist.      Locking in a small closet.      Kicking.      Pushing into walls.      Grabbing violently.      Yelling and threatening and cursing.      Beating over the entire body…head to toe…with the branch of a mulberry tree leaving cuts and bruises.      The number of abusive acts are too numerous to count.      The memories are quite painful.      It was, literally, a living hell.

On the Calvary Abuse website, Alex mentioned being very uncomfortable around his step-dad:

Bob’s a creepy dude. I am 10 years older than Paul and while I wasn’t molested, Bob did make me shower naked with (him) [sic] many times which gives me the creeps and he also made it a regular habit of walking around the house naked with his genitals exposed to us throughout our childhood and teen years. Again, creepy and now knowing what I know it makes me sick. 

And as every victim of child abuse knows, there is the perpetrator and usually an enabler who knows what is going on, but does not get involved and allows the abuse to continue, in this case, Alex's mom, Gayle Grenier.  Alex shares an incident he had with his mother here:

I confronted my mom around 7 years ago in my kitchen at our old home in Visalia about the abuse.  I told her she shared in the responsibility for all the abuse that happened to us and I told her I blamed her for not protecting us.  I told her she was an adult and should have put a stop to it.  She broke down in tears and softened tremendously.
I didn’t see her again for around a couple of weeks.  When she resurfaced she was in cold robot mode and soon after we never saw her again.  She stopped seeing our daughter, her granddaughter and it was over.  Bob took her away.

Folks, the residual effects of abuse continues to this day - it can last more than a childhood - and sometimes goes into adulthood and even through generations.  In this case, a grand-daughter has lost her opportunity to have normal relationship with her grandma.   Healthy grandparents usually play such an important role in the lives of their grandchildren - sharing wonderful times together, building their relationship, etc.   Alex's daughter apparently has none of this.  In an abusive family system, the abuse takes center attention over relationships.  Time is spent in denial, covering up, hiding, doing anything, but looking at the reality of abuse which is sitting right smack in front of them.  What a waste and a tragedy.  My heart breaks for the very innocent victims, not only Alex and his brothers, but for the grandchildren.


Here, Geoff (brother #2) describes in a letter to his mother, Gayle, about his experiences:

> Bob has made his peace with me and I still forgive him. It’s a dead issue between us. Bob needs to address it and reconcile with Alex and Paul. EVERYTHING ALEX DESCRIBED IN HIS LETTER TO BOB HAPPENED!!!!!!! PERIOD.>> If you choose to lie and say it never happened and that Alex and Paul are lying I am prepared to produce a laundry list of people including neighbors, coaches, ex classmates (who used to make fun of the welts on my butt, back and legs, in the showers) and friends that I confided in real time while it was going on. There are also two people that witnessed first hand me being screamed at and smacked in the face repeatedly while I was forced to hold my hands to my side.>

And now we'll read from Alex's younger brother, Paul's account (full story here).  Paul is the 3rd son in the family, Bob Grenier's biological son.  I have copied a portion here and added paragraphs to make it easier to read.   Keep in mind, this is only a portion of the full text.

“I wanted to expound on what my brother wrote in regards to brutality. I haven’t commented publicly on this issue, but reading through these posts has brought up memories and feelings that I have tried to numb and forget.

I want to talk a bit about what it is to be brutal. Brutal is making your children watch while one of your brothers is beaten, punched and kicked. Brutal is laughing at your child after you have beaten and humiliated him in front of his family. Brutal is hitting your child with a wooden log all over his body. Brutal is making your children go in the backyard and “pick the switch” that they will be whipped with all over their backs and buttocks. Brutal is making your child count out loud the number of times they will be hit. Brutal is making your child thank you and tell them how wonderful and responsible it is that you just beat them.

Brutal is locking your child in a small, dark closet. Brutal is punching your child in the face and then kicking him out his home because you are so afraid that it is going to be front page news that you are a child abuser disguised as a Pastor. Brutal is then kicking that child out and laughing at him because you have cut him off from his mothers and brothers. Brutal is not letting your wife talk to her son for 10 years. Brutal is threatening the rest of your children that they will be cut off if they talk to their estranged brother.

Brutal is telling your child to put their hands behind their backs and that it is ok because you aren’t going to hit them. Brutal is then hitting that child in the face so hard that they fall to the ground. Brutal is humiliating, degrading, and psychologically torturing your children for hours on end and then calling it a day and expecting everything to go back to “normal”. Brutal is ruining your son and soon to be daughter-in-law’s wedding day because you refuse to take family pictures with your estranged son and behave like a grown, civilized adult.

Brutal is making your child eat an entire pack of cigarettes and swallow them and laugh at them as they vomit and cry because they tried smoking in high school. Brutal is telling your children you don’t love them. Brutal is telling your children you wished they were never born and you never planned on having them. Brutal is beating one child so badly that they are scared and whimpering like a small animal, and then having another one of your children sit on your lap and profess how they are your favorite and how much you love them. Brutal is watching your older brother and sister-in-law in agony over the fact that they might lose their newborn baby boy.

Brutal is watching your brother call your Mom to come down and your Mom not responding. Brutal is hearing from others how sad your Mom is that she doesn’t have a relationship with her children and grandchildren. Brutal is then seeing your Mom in public and having her walk right by you like she didn’t know you from Adam. Brutal is hearing that your youngest brother called one of his older brothers on Mother’s Day (not a great day for us) and having him glibly ask how his Mother’s Day is going.



Sadly, in this account,  the story gets more complicated and very messy.   Paul shares the extremely personal and painful experience of being sexually abused by his father  in this article:


I have agonized over what I am about to share.  I was the victim of sexual abuse in our home at the hands of my father. That is all the detail I will give publicly.


And then Paul describes his relationship with his younger brother, Bobby/Robert Jr.  Robert is the youngest of the four boys in the family. The following paragraphs summarize the family dysfunction well:


I have spoken privately to some about it.  I most recently spoke to a class action child abuse attorney along with my brother, Alex, and sister-in-law, Amy, about what was done to me.  I would prefer not to share such a horrific thing I lived through but I continue to be attacked and maligned by Bob, Gayle, and Robert.  I feel that at every turn I have tried to take the high road and be as gracious as possible.  I have been backed in a corner and have no choice but to make a public statement. 

If you attend Calvary Chapel Visalia I would keep your children as far away from Bob and Robert as possible.  They are both evil people who will not give a second thought to hurting you and will actively try to destroy your life.  Bob has ruined multiple family relationships and marriages in his tenure at Calvary.

I will say this and say it once.  I was raised by the Bob the monster.  I survived it.  I was raised by a drug addicted, abuse condoning, abhorrent mother.  I survived it.  I grew up with a mentally disturbed younger brother.  I survived it.  I have been slandered and maligned by Bob’s inner circle. I survived it.  I can promise you this: anything Bob, Gayle, and Robert throw my way. I will survive it and be stronger because of it.  Bob could not break my will and spirit when I was a child and he nor anyone else associated with him will be able to do so today.

Bob, Gayle, and Robert want a fight. They’ve got one and a worthy opponent in me.  Dysfunction breeds dysfunction.  If I have to spend the rest of my life defending myself against them and keeping them out of my life I will do it.  And I will survive that too.



In addition to losing his temper and abusing the children, Alex recounts the abuse of his mother by his step-dad and pastor, Bob Grenier:

Yes, Bob was very abusive to my mom, screamed and yelled, broke stuff in front of her in rages (there’s a specific instance he actually shared from the pulpit joking about it. He picked a wooden chair up over his head in a rage and put a gash in the popcorn ceiling and then smashed it into pieces on the floor in front of all of us. He laughed as if it was no big deal when recounting the ordeal, we were all scared to death that he was going to kill us). 
I remember Bob dragging my mom to the back bedroom often and then locking the door and then the screams, yelling, crying that ensued. 
Geoff says he saw Bob smack her around, Paul says he saw Bob on top of her choking her.

Ok, I have gotten over the abuse I incurred as a child, but even so, this stuff is very difficult to read.  But I have a hunch some might say - - - this is Alex's blog - - - he can say what he wants publicly and he expects us to believe it?  He may just have a personal vendetta against his father.  Yea, I get the naysayers.   How can we know for certain this is true?    I'll save you the trouble from looking.   I  found more accounts from others outside the family who make their observations known.  This first comes from a former board member of Calvary Chapel Visalia:

Regarding the allegations of abuse from his sons, I distinctly remember that Bob told the Board that he had gotten very angry at Geoff, and had hit him in the face.   Bob seemed very repentant, and even asked us if we thought he should step down from the ministry.  In questioning him, he said that it had only happened once, that Geoff deserved discipline, but that he had lost his temper and unfortunately struck Geoff.  Knowing what the boys are now alleging, I shudder to think that Bob was only using his sorrow as a way to say he had told his Board, and that he was told not to step down.  Bob also told me many horrible things about Geoff, Alex and Paul, to justify their estrangement – my response was to advise him to not be vindictive, to forgive, to ask for forgiveness and to seek reconciliation.  I believe Bob’s hard heart toward his sons, has led to great harm to the Church, the name of our Lord and to his personal ministry.


Alex reports:

"This CCV board member gave testimony that was presented to Chuck Smith that reports that Bob made a confession of punching Geoff to the Calvary Chapel Visalia Board in 1988.  The Board didn't report the abuse and covered it up.  Much more abuse happened after that, including Paul's molestation allegations."

And then more outside reports here from Alex:


My aunt Kathy Martin testified on a police report that she witnessed Bob striking Geoff in the head/face in a rage. There's personal first-hand testimony of me, Geoff and Paul to the physical abuse. And even Robert/Bobby Jr. let it slip to a mutual friend Shaun Bagley (a 41 year old male nurse in Visalia) bragging that Bob used to beat us up. I have Aunt Kathy's testimony and Shaun's.

To summarize:  

Bob and Gayle Grenier - were shown in the above accounts as abuser and enabler, leaving a path of destruction and abuse in the lives of their sons, Alex, Geoff, and Paul.  Bobby/Robert Jr., however, seems to have followed in the footsteps of his father, exhibiting troubling signs of abuse and discounts the testimonies of his brothers, siding with his father and mother.  This is indeed a very complicated internal family mess.  It is important to note, however, that countless outsiders, including a long-time church board member vouched for the abuse, others filed police testimonies or accounts, and at Alex's blog, there are quite a few comments from outside witnesses who validate the complaints of Alex, Geoff, and Paul.   The stories I have highlighted only involve abuse within the family.  

I have just scratched the surface of this story, sadly.  Sometimes abusers keep abuse solely within the family.  In this case, we find accounts of abuse extending outside the family into Bob Grenier's "work" environment as Pastor of Calvary Chapel Visalia.  The next post in this series will detail personal accounts of the abuse which extended outside the family and into the church and work environment.




photo credit: Waleed Alzuhair via photopin cc