Saturday, May 5, 2012

Who is reading this?!


Stepped out my bedroom door and this is what greeted me at 6:30 AM!

Yesterday we had 469 hits on the blog - 63 more than the previous all-time record!    I don't get it.    From a church that had maybe 100 people?  If I leave a comment on someone's blog using my name and they click on my name to get to this blog, Blogger keeps track of those hits.  There were none of those referral hits yesterday so I'm curious who is reading.  Any ideas? 

Regardless, I'm glad that you are here.  I'm glad that you are reading about what many families experienced.  These stories need to be read and heard and people need to tell their stories. 

This week was a rough one for me.  It wasn't rough because of the lawsuit at all - I'm ready.  It was rough because of the stories I heard.  Yes, more stories.  Stories from over a decade ago involving people I've never met nor heard of.  I've had a low-grade headache since that time.  To think that people have experienced this level of pain from a decade ago and it still affects them to this day.  I guess it literally made me sick when I thought of the multitudes of families who had been treated like this and basically abandoned - so many more than I ever knew or imagined.  My headache will go away, but my resolve to expose to the truth will not go away. 

To those special friends who continually reach out to me and send notes of encouragement - I have to tell you - sometimes that is the fuel that keeps me going.  Thank you. 

Now I'm going to try take care of myself - go for a walk in this beautiful sunny weather (see above picture of what greeted me when I woke up - I'll duck from the onslaught of rotten tomatoes being thrown at me from my Oregonian rain-drenched friends),  maybe hit some garage sales, play some piano, maybe sew a bit.   

Have a wonderful weekend.  Keep talking.  
That's the rule here:  talk, talk, talk :)


 Psalm 113

Praise the Lord!
Praise, O servants of the Lord,
praise the name of the Lord!

 Blessed be the name of the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore!

From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the Lord is to be praised!

 The Lord is high above all nations,
and his glory above the heavens!

 Who is like the Lord our God,
who is seated on high,

 who looks far down
on the heavens and the earth?

 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap,

 to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.

 He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!


35 comments:

  1. What I want to know is why you are up at 6:30 on a Saturday! Sleep in! Love you mother dearest!

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    1. Hannah, I tried. I went to bed earlier with the intent of sleeping in. My body wakes up automatically at 6:30 like clockwork. Going to bed early only shifted that wake-up time to 5:30 - ugh!

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  2. I am reading it. : )

    I bet Chuck is reading it.

    Others from BGBC.

    Escapees.

    Assorted friends and relatives of the above.

    That is my guess.

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    1. "Escapees" - - - - as if someone who didn't feel comfortable at a church should have to escape??????? Yes, there indeed is a problem.

      :(

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  3. I agree with the last person who posted. Not only am I checking daily, but dear friends who helped me pick up the shattered pieces chuck left me with are now following. I can't count how many people tried to get me to understand what a cult was while I was there and I wasn't even complaining at the time I attended. They were just extremely concerned about what little I was saying. I made the mistake once of taking a friend who was not saved who I had been praying over for years for her and her family's salvation. One visit. And she was so shocked by the comments and intensive interrogation she received as a guest that she has never been in a church again. I will never quit praying for her but I so regret exposing her to that filth. No love was given to her, only condemnation. It breaks my heart to think about that day. Sadder still are the brothers and sisters I left there who are still being deceived who I am forbidden contact with. Forbidden by who? Chuck/satan. Please continue to pray for those still trapped. There are some who really love God but chuck has twisted everything so much that they believe his lies that the "attack" they are under is proof that they are faithfully following our precious Lord and Savior. THIS HAS TO STOP! Thank you heavenly Father for getting me and my family out of the deadly grasp of that viper! Thank you Julie Ann for giving us a voice and a venue to be heard. Our God is huge and He is faithful, He has not abandoned us and I'm sure He is grieved that His precious children are being treated this way.

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    1. May the Lord comfort your heart. Praise God He delivered you! We will be praying for your friend. Many are praying for those still at BGBC. We also had friends warning us and praying for us to leave the cult. They saw an eerie change in us. The Lord is gracious to teach His truth. Some wonderful saints gave us sermons by John MacArthur about the Love of God, the mercy of God, and the grace of God. Sermons on how the Holy Spirit sanctifies not the law. So deceptive how Chuck associates himself with John MacArthur when he doesn't preach anything like him.

      “Discernment is not simply a matter of telling the difference between what is right and wrong; rather it is the difference between right and almost right.” -Charles Spurgeon.

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    2. It's interesting, but when I speak with people who have left, I do not hear bitterness and anger towards those who remain. I do hear sadness. By and large, people feel badly about those "left behind" and just want them to be free.

      I'm sorry to hear about your friend who visited and was treated so poorly. That makes sense to me. I never felt comfortable inviting anyone the entire time and that was one of the big red flags for me personally: why would I not feel comfortable inviting friends and loved ones to a church service? Wow!

      Thank you for your comment. You probably speak for countless others.

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  4. It truly is sad, he is blaming Julie Anne and 'her' following for people leaving, thus financial support waning yet has not and obviously will not take any responsibility for his own behavior. He has had ample opportunity to meet with family after family who leaves, yet chooses to put them on church discipline (for me and mine, we haven't been told our 'sin') and shunning, I know, for me he has had the opportunity to meet with local pastors and the folks who have left but refuses to meet-instead sues women and grown children...his 1st move other than speaking dreadful lies about those who have left. I heard family after family, person after person whom had left be torn apart from his own lips. Lets not forget the fellowship of Grace Brethern-how many years ago was that, any peace or reconciliation with those pastors we heard about from 'his' pulpit? Probably not...bet if anyone cared to contact any of the Washington pastors they wouldn't have any idea this was going on, much less heard anything from BGB in the last few years.
    Sad sad sad!
    This is for you Chuck, grow up and take responsibility for your own actions!!! Your last mass exodus had nothing to do with Julie Anne nor her 'group' you like to blame. Remember, they were being shunned, its your own words and behavior that is causing you financial difficulties.
    To God be the glory, great things He has done and IS doing

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    1. I am the visible scapegoat because I signed my name to a Google review. Ok, that's fine. Each and every post and comment I get privately and publicly only convinces me more that this needed to become public. Maybe it was a gift that my posts on Google were removed. If they had remained online, they would have been buried. Having them removed only got me more angry and determined that the message needed to be heard. And maybe that's what Chuck was afraid of and why the posts were removed.

      The immense pain that my family has gone through was not in vain. Glory to God. When my daughter left our home abruptly, it was like a death - perhaps a death would have been easier. It was so difficult. No one should have to go through pain like that. I am happy to be His vessel. Use me, dear Lord!

      It would be interesting to know if any of the Grace Brethren pastors are aware of this lawsuit or this blog. I don't even know if BGBC is still connected to Grace Brethren. I thought he was distancing himself from them - - - hmm, wonder why?!

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  5. Reading through all the comments on various blogs one thing has jumped out at me. I know some people were told to leave for various and often almost unbelievable reasons and then told they were under church discipline and or shunned. But I left on my own volition after many months of prayer. I was terrified and had no one to ask counsel of if I was doing the right thing. I was concerned about certain things that were going on, especially scared for my children. But I had been attending BGBC for several years so I had already succumbed to the order to eliminate non-members from my life. I was so afraid to make the decision to leave. But I was not under church discipline. MONTHS after I left chuck discovered that several members were still friends with me. At that point he called a church meeting (I was of course not invited) at which time he informed the church body that I was not saved and a danger to anyone talking to me because I had subversive ideas (leaving the church). I was a member at another church at this time and heavily involved in sunday school classes, three separate bible studies, and teaching three year olds. He informed the members that I was in open rebellion against him and God and that I was trying to get other members to leave. At this point I was so terrified of chuck that I had never said anything to anyone else about leaving. However, he forbade anyone from having any contact with me at all. He actually told them I was a danger because I was an unrepentant goat! Fortunately, a few brave saints kept contact with me because they admitted they could see fruit in my life and were confused as to what my unrepentant sin was. So was I! No one had ever contacted me to confront me regarding this "sin". One member actually asked if I was excommunicated or officially under church discipline. Since I wasn't, chuck said no, but the threat I posed was real and they needed to follow his counsel. Praise God that a few people chose not to! One actually told chuck that they were leaving our relationship in God's hands unless chuck could actually specify my sin. So I guess my point is my shunning didn't result from an open confrontation with chuck or some sin I refused to repent of, my shunning was a direct result of leaving the church. There have been a few people who have likewise commented that they are unaware of what their sin was. I can tell you, you didn't give chuck the inappropriate authority over your life that he demands. I still grieve for the friends I lost for no reason other than chuck's ego. And for the ensuing years that I have spent triple guessing everything from books, to "truths" I learned under chuck that I have had to unlearn.

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    1. Your comment was very difficult to read. I could feel the pain and it really makes me sad to think of what you and your family went through.

      In one of my earliest posts on this blog, "Leaving the Church", I touched on this subject. One simply cannot leave BGBC "well" unless it is a move because of a job, etc. It's nearly impossible to leave this church and remain local without suffering consequences as your message clearly points out.

      Julie Anne's strong opinion here: What is this madness about? To have to reign control and every member current and past??? It's insanity. It's cult-like behavior. Chuck needs to come clean of this mess! This kind of behavior wreaks havoc on people emotionally for YEARS!

      Thank God you are gone and you are free. Thank you so much for sharing this.

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    2. Thank you for replying to my post. I cannot possibly express in words what it means to finally say some of these things out loud - and be heard! I definitely feel God's love coming through you and that means so much to me. I'm crying, but finally they are tears of relief and release. I am so tired of the shame and hidden humiliation.

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    3. Have you ever seen a 6'3-1/2" redhead cry? Well, now I'm crying tears of happiness for you, too. No shame and humiliation anymore. You are certainly not alone and your post probably expresses what others have felt or currently feel. I suspect some are still living in fear - some may be "held captive" so to speak at the church wondering when they will make their escape. That is why your story is so important - it was one brave step.

      hugs!

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  6. You'll probably eventually have to do a blog post on me... I had had that "meeting with Chuck" that most teens had had. I had been honest that I was doubting my faith. His response was the "recommendation" that my cell phone be taken away from me, that I quit school, quit my part-time nanny jobs, and not be allowed on the internet. But after I left - Zero contact from Chuck. I'm sure I'm shunned for some reason or another... but I have no idea why. And now he's suing me. So yeah, I'm reading your blog... It's nice to see that others have and are going through the same things I've been put through.

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    1. I expressed what it was like from my point of view on an earlier blog post (that had a tech glitch and is no longer there). I and I'm sure others would be interested in reading it from your perspective, Hannah. If you have time and would feel comfortable doing this, I'll gladly post it for you :)

      I love you, precious daughter. And I'm so thrilled about next weekend to see you wear your cap and gown - woohoo!!!

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  7. Thank you Anonymous for sharing. It certainly helps others to hear from those who have courage to share about their negative church experience.

    Often it is through these hard times that the Good Shepherd's love comes through others who are free in Christ to be themselves and to love others. You have certainly learned a lot and you will continue to learn what 'real' church should be and how 'real' church leadership should function.

    You might be interested in my website: www.ChurchExiters.com.

    My book is: Spiritual Abuse Recovery. It documents the stories of many others and how people have recovered from their muddy tunnel church experience.

    Know that you are not alone and that there are a host of others who have 'been there, done that'.

    Barb

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    1. Thank you Barb for your continued support to me and for reaching out to strangers who have suffered greatly. I have your website linked in the "Spiritual Abuse Helps" section of my blog and hope that readers will avail themselves to the resources as they recover from this difficult situation.

      I want to thank you personally, once again, for keeping in touch with me periodically these past few months. The prayer support and personal e-mails along with the other friends you have introduced me to have been so helpful.

      Julie Anne

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  8. Chuck,

    Why don't you love people? 1 John says if you say you love God but don't love people you are lying and the Truth isn't in you. Don't you know you have harmed people and you will be accountable to God for that? Doesn't your conscience bother you at all? How about at night when you are trying to sleep? Why don't you overlook offenses, do good to those you think are your enemies? Reading the stories here, the ones from people you have shunned;tossed aside as though they were trash, should move you with compassion. Do they move you with compassion or make you more angry? You have a choice to repent of your part in all of this and reach out to us with a pastor's heart or continue on with vengeful arrogance. If you choose the former there can be beautiful forgiveness and broken lives can be mended. God would be glorified in that! Or...you can continue on leaving a path of destruction. God is NOT pleased with that course. He has much to say in His word about those who cause harm to HIS sheep. I plead with you, for the sake of the glory of God, for the sake of His precious sheep, and for your own sake.....do the right thing! "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

    With tears and a heavy heart

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    1. I'm using my white hanky to wave and to wipe my tears. You absolutely nailed it.

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  9. This is the interwebs...

    The entire world is reading this.

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  10. Julie Anne,

    You asked in the original question, "Who is reading this?"
    The answer to that is: Everyone, now.

    Here I am, in Ohio, I'm not even a Christian, and I'm reading your story and wishing you and your family the best during this struggle.

    Since the news broadcast, it's been posted on Facebook..it's sort of a minor national story, I guess you could say. I see your counter is approaching 20,000 hits.

    I went to Google, as you suggested, and read CO'Ns little diatribe, and I just felt I had to comment and show support to you and yours. I was raised Methodist, and I know from my childhood that this isn't how a church leader is supposed to behave.

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  11. Yes,

    Everyone is reading. I came across your story on KATU.com. I live here in Portland and can say I had some very negative experiences with churches like this (maybe not this bad) before I found my a loving supportive community of faith. I am touched by how you are bringing people together to heal on this blog.

    God's blessing upon you, and keep it up!

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    Replies
    1. It's easy to get distracted, but that is the ultimate goal of the blog- healing/restoration. Glad you found a great church community.

      Thank you, Lisa!

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  12. People in Australia are now reading, your story has made our newspapers today!

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    1. I'm in Australia and I'm reading. I didn't see it in the paper, I saw it posted on the forums at www.stufffundieslike.com, a blog that highlights the insanity within the Independent Baptist Church.

      I wish you all the best. I can't imagine that church will look good through all this.

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    2. Hey Megan and Tara - Thanks so much for checking out my blog and commenting. Wow - support all the way from Australia :)

      thanks!

      Delete
  13. I just found the blog from a link I followed from the Facebook page "Evidence of Harm by Religion." I totally understand what you are going though as I have been going through it myself from family. My own mother mass emailed everyone in her address book, except me, with an offer to give out my home phone number, email address, street address, and locations of places I might be at in the effort to turn me back to the "proper" path. My sister forwarded the email to me. This is one of the reasons why I turned my back to organized religion. Another reason is the fact that questioning things earned a hostile response, and that I was doomed to burn forever in agony because I dared to question things that just didn't add up.

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  14. I thought you'd be interested to know that I read about your story and blog in a (supportive) article on the "Friendly Atheist" blog. I wish you and your family strength and healing.

    The link, if you want it: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2012/05/13/mother-gives-former-church-bad-reviews-online-pastor-sues-for-500000/

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  15. I left a church after spiritual abuse and they had sucked my financial resources dry. I am a widow and they did the pastor said he was 'taking care of me'… He took care of me alright…….
    Praying for you!

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  16. Reading from North Carolina. I stumbled across this blog after reading a news story about the lawsuit while drinking coffee and beginning my work day. Unfortunately for my employer your story was quite compelling and I've now literally read every post (and almost all comments) on the entire blog, much to the detriment of the work I should have been doing.

    I applaud your effort to shine a light on this despicable man and his hateful tactics. I hope you and your family find peace and happiness in the end. :)

    -Another friendly Atheist

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  17. Thanks! I am signing in as 'anonymous' for my husband is still in such a legalistic church here in CO,and totally now brainwashed; and I never joined after visiting and trying to ask questions about their beliefs and the extra 'ground rules' I kept accidentally breaking and getting awfully, hatefully "dealt with"; but my conscience is clear for I was obeying the Lord to 'test and to prove' as I visited; (I didn't know that is the biggest 'sin' of all); my husband is greatly deceived and the marriage has now been over for many, many years thanks to these amazingly condemning, Phariseical, "Christians" (in name at least, one can't tell it by the 'fruit'); He thinks they are superior and faultless for they took him in without me and built up his ego.
    Hang in there, girl! You've done a great service to expose things that are not Biblical nor Christlike, and therefore give our precious Lord a bad reputation. (I kept hoping I'd wake up from this Hollywood B movie-nightmare, but couldn't awake; but His Spirit kept taking me to all the Scriptures to see who I am in Him as a new creation; how dare these people try to destroy the faith in those facts?! but they did with their great pride and arrogance; I really worry if they aren't going to bust hell wide open as they perform their legal acts in His Name, not showing the fruit of the Spirit; As you know, the Lord is faithful and merciful, loving and gracious as well as 'just', and delivered me (or they'd have destroyed my faith and mind for Satan does use this 'religiosity' in that way; but Jesus is more than conqueror in us, making us so, for we are 'in Him' aren't we? But I sure feel for young ladies who are new converts and may be taken in (and 'apart') byt such people. How awful they are to do such hateful things using our Lord Jesus's Name, saying they're sharing the Gospel. Not done in the right spirit, that perverts the Gospel and destroys faith, doesn't it?
    May He bless you! (I know He is).

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  18. I'm reading from Iowa after your story was picked up by The Blaze. As a spiritual stay-at-home mom, the thought of what you, your family, and the others involved are being subjected to breaks my heart.
    Praying for you all...and sharing your story with my friends and family. Congratulations! You've officially gone world news! ;-)

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  19. Reading from Johannesburg, South Africa - got the link from facebook. Hang in there - thoughts are with you.

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  20. OMGoodness...this sounds all too familiar. We just left a church a few months ago and not only were there sermons on unfriending people on FB that have left the church, but private meetings as well. I knew all about the church for several years by just watching very closely and knew something was indeed wrong while each of our family memebers continued to serve. The church we are from is a pastor-led church and the elders that he has chosen are his "yes" men. Any that weren't, stepped down and left the church. Hundreds have left over the past 4 years. I read a wonderful site that helped me in the healing process because now I know what to call it, Narcissism in the Pulpit. Here is the site to help others. http://power2serve.net/narcissism_in_the_pulpit1.htm

    Churches are corporations, corporations are business's, it's the pastor's livelihood and a pastor will do or say anything to keep himself afloat at the cost of good, honest,loving people. Church has definitley changed from how it use to be in Bible days. It's tailored to our wants and needs and not on truth anymore.

    Some pastor's abuse their position of authority for selfish gain and hurt others instead of using it for the glory of God. Sometimes it can be seen over a slow fade of time. You don’t recognize it at first, but it soon shows clearer as time goes on. Do you look away, or do you stand for what is right?

    It’s ok to stand firm in what you believe in as long as it is through a Godly perspective.

    Sometimes we don’t feel eloquent enough or strong enough or feel we don’t have what it takes to fight the good fight. But God see’s you as eloquent, strong and you DO have what it takes because you’re standing for HIM. When David was younger he was small and insignificant to those closest to him but not in the eyes of the Lord. God seen him as one of His soldiers. David stood up to Goliath with a Godly courage and knew the right thing to do.

    It’s ok to stand up for what you believe in. Remember, WWJD? What should YOU do?

    Thankyou for taking a stand. I know it's hard because it's a sue happy world. Our former pastor even told my husband that if anyone ever defames his name he will sue them. It really showed us his heart. Now I know he's not the only one out there.

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  21. Greetings from central Illinois. I discovered and read your blog today.

    Thanks be to Jesus Christ that His bride includes individual disciples such as you. The true Church is comprised of sheep who follow Christ's voice.

    It is certainly a sign of the world's accelerating decline toward apostasy that traditional churches such as BGBC are driving away the remnant of Christ's disciples. The pew-sitters who remain faithful to pastors whose "purpose driven church" focus is on church growth-- not following Jesus Christ-- need to wake up soon.

    Never underestimate the power of prayer. He who stands with us is greater than He who stands against us. Nothing can ever separate us from the love of God revealed in Jesus Christ.

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