When You Don't Want to "Go" to Church

Yes, this is the church and the people in divorce court.
So many people are leaving the church. Why? Because they are experiencing emotional abuse, psychological abuse, spiritual abuse, and intellectual abuse. And neglect. More and more people are becoming post church people.  David Hayward of nakedpastor.com

For some reason, this week I've heard from a number of people who are fed up with organized religions, church buildings, tithing, authoritarian pastors, and the whole charade that some churches have become. Some are okay with not going to church for a time, but would like to have some kind of teaching available to them.   I wanted to be sure to mention a couple other safe options for church in non-traditional settings.   

http://thewartburgwatch.com

I've mentioned EChurch before.  Wade Burleson, pastor of Emmanuel Baptist in Enid, Oklahoma, teamed together with my blogger friends, Dee and Deb of Wartburg Watch blog and offer EChurch each Saturday.  Associated Baptist Press did a nice write-up on EChurch below:

Online community as missions field 

Keeping it simple was the whole idea behind EChurch, an online worship experience launched in March by two bloggers intent on reaching the unchurched.

Won't step foot in church

“Worse than unchurched, it’s people who just won’t step foot in a church,” said Dee Parsons, co-founder of EChurch and The Wartburg Watch, a blog that tracks controversial Christian trends.

Parsons said she and blog partner Wanda Martin discerned from posted comments the need for an online spiritual community for those who feel alienated from church. Some cited pedophilia and financial scandals, or feeling ostracized for questioning religious dogma, behind their unwillingness to enter churches.

Restoring trust in church

EChurch is not a live worship streaming event, but rather contains prayers, Christian music of varying styles and an embedded video of Burleson preaching at Emmanuel in Enid.

The format allows participants to watch when they can and then to comment on the experience. The back-and-forth between readers tells Parsons EChurch is providing much-needed fellowship for its participants.

“The seeker churches are getting the seekers,” she said. “These people are not seeking – they know what they believe, but they just don’t want to come to church.” 

Burleson said he jumped at the invitation to have his sermons imbedded at EChurch because that demographic needs ministry. “It’s amazing,” he said. “I have people contact me who said EChurch is restoring a little trust in the church.”

The current EChurch "gathering" is here.  

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Ken and his wife, Sharon

Another option that came to mind is my friend and pastor, Ken Garrett, who has audios of his sermons located here.  Ken understands spiritual abuse as he and his family experienced it in their cult/church for 12 years, so he is especially sensitive to that topic when he preaches.  Here is one of Ken's articles I featured here:   Fingerprints of a False Teacher   And here is Ken's blog:  Downtown Pastor.

Americans: Church in a Building, Church in No Building, or No Church at All?

What is happening to America's churches?   There seems to be a lot of confusion and mayhem.  Pastors like Ed Young with mega churches live in million dollar mansions.   Celebrity pastors are authors, write book endorsements for their celebrity pastor author friends.  Conferences are held with more celebrity pastors sharing the platform with their bosom buddies who are also celebrity pastors.  

I found two articles talking about the changing religious landscape in America and posted some key notes from the articles.  Click on the titles for the complete articles.  

Survey:  One in five Americans has no religion

By Dan Merica, CNN

Washington (CNN) – The fastest growing "religious" group in America is made up of people with no religion at all, according to a Pew survey showing that one in five Americans is not affiliated with any religion.

The number of these Americans has grown by 25% just in the past five years, according to a survey released Tuesday by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life

Second are groups of people who were unhappy with their religions and left.

And here's another article on religion in the US:

Survey:  Protestants are no longer majority in US 

Washington (CNN) – Following a string of recent developments that suggest waning Protestant power – like the first Supreme Court with no Protestant justices, and a Protestant-free Republican presidential ticket – a new Pew survey finds that Protestants are no longer the majority in the United States.

At the release of the Pew survey, John Green, a senior adviser at Pew, quoted historian Robert Wuthnow in characterizing the changes as part of a wider “restructuring of American religion.”

“The core of this phenomenon is many of the older distinctions that characterize American religion …  are being replaced with a new kind of religion,” Green said.

The study also found that the fastest growing "religious group" in the country is people who are not affiliated with any religion.

One of the biggest eye-openers for me with the media exposure was the amount of support from atheists, agnostics, and also Christians who no longer go to traditional churches whatsoever.   Many of the self-proclaimed atheists said they used to attend church, but left after bad church experiences.  Something clearly is going on.   I pulled these comments from news articles on my case or comments from my blog:

Yes there are true Christians in America, but you won't find us in churches......

This is exactly why I do not attend church. Too much "Blind Faith" among the followers, free thinking is admonished and mind control is the norm. Women are treated a second class and the preacher is the mouth-piece of God. Wake up people and snap out of it. Organized religion is scary crazy!

It's time to ban organized religions and the cults that mimic them. They are nothing but a manner in which to control the masses and lately seem to promote hatred, violence, racism, bigotry and intolerance. One does not need to belong to a religion to have faith and believe in a higher power, nor does one need religion to promote morals.

Would Christ recognize Christianity as it is practiced today? For the most part, no.

It's amazing. When the church is being judged and criticized they can't take it but they have no problem dishing it out to others. Just another reason the church needs to disappear.

Christianity becomes antithetical when it preaches exclusivity and involves itself it politics and business. But this seems to be the track that many if not most churches are now taking and is anti-christ. Jesus showed what the passion of christ really was when he went to the temple and threw out the merchants and politicians. He was crucified by those powers threatened by his revelations of the mercenary intentions of religion and church leaders. The ignorance of churches that persecute is criminal and only a secular government is capable of recognizing that or ends up washing its hands of the self serving demands of religious and business leaders.

Religion is a b@tch isnt it! I left "the church" several years ago and won't go back.....similar story to this. We sat the leaders of the very large DFW area church down and told them in no uncertain terms, that if they started a single rumor, a lawsuit would follow. Others that had left were talked about by the leadership...they are sinners, they have fallen into sin, their marriage is weak, their faith is weak, they are not committed, they don't care, on and on. We were youth pastors....volunteers, cause I wont take money for telling some about Christ, the church leadership was very well paid and after being exposed to "behind the scenes" we had to leave. I will NOT attend organized named church anymore. I study, pray and live life to the fullest. I hope this woman stands strong.

Yep, exactly. I know what you are saying, I've been there. I was a church secretary for 14 years, played the piano and coordinated their worship team. When I started to question their ethics in some people's lives and they way they were controlling the congregation in the direction of their teaching and our worship. That was it for us... They were even telling people that I was possessed and insane to discredit me just for my questions to them! They are the ones that pushed it into the public realm by their own fear and guilt. Yet finally I had never been healthier.

And I've never been happier. I will not go back. I have my faith and beliefs, but it has nothing to do with being part of brainwashed people that are trapped in a building.

I made a decision to leave the "institutional church" over a year ago (for a number of reasons), and have no regrets. Reading about your lawsuit and spiritual abuse experiences, simply reinforces my decision so that I have no desire to belong to a church ever again. Honestly, who needs all that drama??? Given this blog (and others like it) as well as my own spiritual abuse experiences, I have concluded that "church" is a stressful activity that I can certainly do without! :)

People walking away from institutional religion is not sad, Julie. Notice that the writer said he or she had NO REGRETS? That institution is not the body of Christ. We are His body. Those of us whom He has redeemed by His blood. Those of us whom God has called out, you could not pay us a salary to go back. We love our Lord, and when He is not welcome in the churches, we don't want to be there either.

American version of christianity is rather detestable. Its Political, commercialized and indoctrinating. People in general are ill-informed and chruches become kind of master of them. Churches do some good but overall people should stay away for religious institution. 

Believing in God has nothing to do with following a religion. These are two distinct attributes.

There is something about every church that I have issue with, whether it's their doctrine, or name it claim it, or finding glitter on their hands (It's a sign!!) and crowing like a rooster, or pastor seems to not look you in the eye when he talks to you but seems fixated on other areas (even when you're dressed modestly and not particularly curvy), another pastor seems wayyyy too interested in the children and raising red flags all over the place, I could go on and on and on. I have to be careful that I'm not taking on the attitude of the abusive church that said "we're the only place" but be discerning at the same time.

The church is a mess! And I am hurting and have no idea who or what to trust any more. My main prayer is "Lord, help me... help us ... help our family." I have a son who doesn't know if he believes any more. It is heartbreaking. The one thing *I* know is that God is there ... and He knows right where I am.

All I know is that after reading all of the above, I just want Jesus.  It's easy to give it all up amidst this muck.  We cannot do that.  I am so thankful that He is with me - - He never abandons me - He is with me in the morning when I rise and He can walk me through all of this difficult church muck.

The Lord detests those whose hearts are perverse,

    but he delights in those whose ways are blameless.  Proverbs 11:20

Mandatory Reporting Laws for Clergy: Loopholes for Abuse

 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.  See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.  Great commentary:  2 Corinthians 7:10-11

I've been reading some news articles lately which have reminded me of my case.  My former pastor was pretty irate about I said in my Google review regarding a known sex offender having access to the church nursery.   When the media initially reported of the story, the public overwhelming sided with us.  However, after the second hearing, the media took off on the particular phrase about the sex offender.  Some people thought I was out of line for saying that phrase.  They could excuse the rest of my comments, but not that one.  This was the first time in the case where I noticed people coming to my former pastor's defense.  

My former pastor was livid that I mentioned that there was a known sex offender who had access to the nursery.  All I know is what I saw.  I remember a teenage boy (who was later convicted as a sex offender) who was in the nursery when I was there.  My pastor was the one who made the choice to NOT disclose this information to authorities.  As I recall, documents showed that he knew about the sex offender some 8 months before authorities were notified.  Authorities were notified by a former church member who also was later brought into the lawsuit.  He wanted to handle this sex abuse situation within the church.   In the hearing, we heard that the sex offender remained in the same house as the victims.  I repeat . . . . day in and day out, the known perpetrator was allowed to remain living in the same vicinity, same home, same church as the victims.  This appalled me.

Here is a screen shot of a relevant court document.  I intentionally blanked out names involved, so unfortunately it is a bit more difficult to read:  

My former pastor and his wife said some pretty strong words about me here in this interview.   You can forward to :25 mark to see for yourself:

Beaverton church sues blogging ex-member, seeks $500,000

Here's the deal.  If my former pastor lived in Oklahoma, his name might be in the headlines like employees from this church:

5 Victory Christian Church Employees Charged in Rape Investigation

The Tulsa County DA has filed charges against five employees of the Victory Christian Center for failure to report child abuse.

Paul Wilemstein, Anna George, Harold "Frank" Sullivan, Charica Daugherty and John Daugherty are all charged with misdemeanor failure to report child abuse. Sullivan is the director of Human Resources at VCC.  John is the son of VCC pastor, Sharon Daugherty, Charica is his wife.  Monday night, all five were booked into the Tulsa Co. Jail. Several hours later, all were released on on $1,500 bond.

The charges stem from recent allegations of a rape at the center.  Former VCC employee Chris Denman, 20, was charged with first degree rape of a victim under 14, forcible oral sodomy, lewd molestation and the use of a computer to facilitate a sex crime on September 13th.  The alleged victim's mother said the incident happened in August, and she did not hear about it until more than two weeks later.

And here's another case where a bishop failed to report suspected child abuse by a priest and was sentenced:  

Catholic bishop convicted of shielding priest 

(CNN) -- A judge in Kansas City, Missouri, has sentenced a Catholic bishop to two years on probation for failure to report suspected child abuse, officials said Thursday.

Bishop Robert W. Finn, 59, is the highest-ranking Catholic official to be convicted during the church's long sexual abuse scandal. 

So while my pastor complained about me and my remarks about a sex offender in the nursery, the only reason why my pastor was NOT arrested was because of the provision in the Oregon law regarding “privileged” communication for clergy.  

Oregon (http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/mandatoryreporting.html)

Or. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 419B.005(3)(h) (WESTLAW through End of 2001 Reg. Sess. & Cum. Supp.) Public or private official [includes]: Member of the clergy. Or. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 419B.010(1) (WESTLAW through End of 2001 Reg. Sess. & Cum. Supp.) Any public or private official having reasonable cause to believe that any child with whom the official comes in contact has suffered abuse or that any person with whom the official comes in contact has abused a child shall immediately report or cause a report to be made….Nothing shall affect the duty to report imposed by the reporting laws, except that a psychiatrist, psychologist, member of clergy or attorney shall not be required to report such information communicated by a person if such communication is privileged under §§ 40.225 to 40.295.

Here's a helpful overall view of the mandatory reporting laws for clergy (Clergy as Mandatory Reporters of Child Abuse and Neglect: Summary of State Laws).

I have not been able to figure out why the bishop in the CNN article above was arrested because the information on this chart seems to indicate Missouri would have given the bishop an exemption with the law allowing for "pastoral communications".   Any ideas?  

So what do you think about these clergy laws?  Should all clergy be mandatory reporters with no limitations?  Or do you think clergy should be able to handle abuse cases in-house?    When does abuse cross the line from a church issue to an issue where the civil authorities should be called?  Who gets to decide these issues? 

On some issues, I'm torn.  A case where children are playing "doctor" which ventures into sex exploration on one occasion does not equate with gross sexual abuse.  In my lawsuit in which I wrote about the sex offender having access to the nursery in the Google review, I was shocked to find out that the victims were still living with the sex offender.  I know from my time at that church that outside counseling for the victims or perpetrator would have been frowned upon.   I do not believe that this family would have had the proper care or counsel without outside involvement.  What we saw in that particular case was an offender who was confined to his locked bedroom at night.  In the court hearing, we heard about a system of alarms that were set up within the house so the offender's whereabouts was known at all times.  I later heard that he was never supposed to be alone at church (there was obviously a lapse in that system because I saw him a number of times alone in the nursery area).  No system is fool-proof - but setting up alarms, making sure he wasn't alone only addresses part of the issue.  What about the rest of the story - - proper care and counseling for both victim and perpetrator?   I believe that in situations such as this one, the pastor and elders were very ill-equipped to handle something of this magnitude and actually could have done more damage to the victims, or perhaps even others outside of the family because of  lapses.

With the Penn State fiasco, sex abuse in the Catholic Church and so many other cases in the news lately, I do not believe we are done with this issue - not by a long shot.  

photo credit: marsmet551 via photopin cc

Instrumental Voices in Leaving an Abusive Church Environment

Over the weekend, there was great discussion on how we can best help friends who still remain in an abusive church.  It is so frustrating to be on the outside knowing they are seemingly stuck in that spiritually abusive environment.  

I thought of Pastor Ken Garrett and his experience in an abusive church/cult and wondered if he had seen the post and might have $.02 to offer.    (If you haven't read about how Ken and I connected on this blog, it's a great story.)  So I went to my computer to send him a quick e-mail and imagine my surprise when I found that he had sent me a note just two minutes earlier.  His comment was too large to post as one comment, so he sent it via e-mail and said I may use it as I see fit.  Yes, I think so, thank you very much, Ken :)  I think you'll see why we got more than $.02 worth out of the deal.

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Once again, the question:

                How can we best help friends who remain in an abusive church?


Response from Pastor Ken Garrett: 

Great question, and comments!  As I reflect on our experience in an abusive ministry, I am increasingly certain that our departure was in fact an act of divine deliverance--not a result of human argument, pleading, or opposition.  Since our group was very, very academic-oriented, we felt (for the most part) that we possessed a better grasp of the Bible than most others, so attempts to Scripture "bomb", or "reason" us out of the group didn't make the smallest dent in our convictions and commitment to it.  It was only when we personally began to talk/complain (with God, and with one or two very close, trustworthy friends) that things started rolling in the direction of us leaving.  But, it truly was an act of deliverance from God, prayed for, by us and doubtlessly by many friends and family along the way.  That being said, when I look back on people who were instrumental in my leaving the group, there are some similarities and some very powerful qualities that I note: 

1.  In most cases, the people instrumental in me leaving were those who knew me before I became a member of the group, and despite the unfortunate changes in me, and my purposeful distancing of myself from them--they stayed kindhearted, patient, and friendly towards me. 

(JA note:  same story for us!)  

They let me know that what I was doing wasn't their cup of tea, but that regardless of my religious beliefs they loved me and hoped for the best for me.  In this way they communicated affection, respect,  and kindness towards me, but did not give the impression that their well-being was somehow tied up in whether or not I was a member of a weird (abusive, in fact) group.  

Often concerned family members commit this error: out of love, and a sense of family pride, they are heavy-handed in confronting the member of an abusive group.  In doing so, they often drive the member more deeply into the group.  So, a calm, loving distance that somehow assures the person in the group that he/she is unconditionally loved, and seen as being much more than simply a member of an abusive, suspect church is a good start.  It gives the person something to hide deep in their souls--the knowledge that they have a friend outside the group who seems truly unintimidated by the group (or group's leadership).  It is very powerful for a person to know with certainty that there are friends waiting on the outside, who will not be "I told you so" types...

2.  The example of healthy Christians who treated me with respect, despite the fact that I looked down on them for what I perceived as their shallow, cookie-cutter faith (so happy to have been forgiven for such arrogance!) made a deep impact on me, too. 

 To realize that believers who did not think like I did, whom my pastor would NOT want me to be like...but who were very happy, blessed, and in love with Jesus, become a powerful picture for me--convincing me that there was truly joy to be found "out there," away from the abusive group.  So, if you're a Christian, and have a Christian friend, co-worker, acquaintance, etc., who seems to be a member of an abusive, exclusive, sect-like church, and you relate to that person with the free, relaxed, grace-filled manner that God has given you--you're having a much deeper impact than you might imagine.  Arguments, accusations, theological sparring rarely make an impact.  Love always does.

3.  Finally, even though I worked hard not to show it, when a person who had left an abusive group openly, freely talked of their experience, warts and all, without rancor, resentment, or vengeance--it was very powerful. 

 If they spoke in a way that communicated respect and empathy (and perhaps even love with pity) for those still in the group--so much the better.  That's why it is so helpful for a person to be able to enter a forum anonymously and read (perhaps even interact) with others who understand the dynamics of an abusive church, and the abusive pastor.  Calls to curb anonymity, to "just move on," or to repress the experience, or to cover it over with greater spiritualization and religious talk do nothing but create more inner tension and mental/spiritual anguish.  Those attempts to repress always fail, always create more victims, and always dig people into their broken churches even deeper—having made the decision to be less than honest.  Critics that claim those who write and respond to abuse survivor blogs should not do so, or are somehow acting in an unhealthy or unbiblical way are simply betraying their ignorance to the issue, or at least are demonstrating a lack of genuine experience with the issue.   

JA's note:  I just rose from the couch and waved her white hanky - WOOHOO!!!!  YES!!!  Preach it, Ken!!!  This is one subject that so many people who have not experienced abuse find objectionable.  They want to move us along our journey of healing quickly because our pain makes them feel uncomfortable.  We've experienced it here on this blog with Fred.  The subject has come up time and again and really is one of the primary issues Fred Butler (Click at your own risk.) and those of his ilk have to do with survivor blogs.  Last I checked, Fred has dedicated five blog posts to the subject of survivor blogs . This discussion has also come up on forums where pastors and church leaders have church-related discussions. There are many people who feel very uncomfortable with discussing these subjects and have even complained about it here.  I's important to realize that sometimes even those in church leadership positions are not going to understand what we are going through and in fact, may hinder our healing progress if they tell us to hurry up and move along without understanding there is a healing process involved.  

Sorry for the long post, Julie Anne!  (JA note:  ahem - whatever, Ken - apology is not working for me - haha.  Just keep sending me more stuff like this :)  

Thanks!  Pastor Ken  

JA Note to Ken:  Thank YOU!!!!  I so appreciate your wisdom on this topic.  I'm trying to count on one hand how many pastors I know who really understand spiritual abuse.  I'm not doing very well with the counting.  So delighted we connected under such bizarre circumstances - I have learned so much from you.   Thanks, friend!

photo credit: las - initially via photopin cc

Spiritual Abuse: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Raymond has been a regular blog reader and his very sad personal story is posted here:  Can Spiritual Abuse Destroy a Marriage?  Paul's Story.  At that time, he was going by the pseudonym, "Paul".  Raymond is trying to move on with his life after his heart-wrenching church experience.  It has now been around 9 months since he has spoken to his wife (or possibly ex-wife - he hasn't seen court documents yet).  Obviously, this has been a difficult journey for him.  

We had some interesting discussion after posting a reader's question discussing:  

How can we best help friends who remain in an abusive church? 

I enjoyed reading Raymond's perspective on wolves and sheep as it relates to an abusive church environment and decided to compile the bulk of his comments into a separate article. 

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing 

Compiled and edited from comments by Raymond Ernst

The question:  How can we best help friends who remain in an abusive church?

What I have found is that the wolf that is dressed in sheep’s clothing will always be a wolf.  When someone in the flock exposes the fact that he is a wolf, he just rearranges his sheep’s clothing to cover up that which might have been exposed and the majority of the sheep never know the difference. 

The sheep that exposed the fact that indeed he is a wolf are quickly eliminated from the flock. There are even some sheep who see the ugly fangs, but are too afraid of leaving the flock because of what might lie on the other side of the hill.  They are just like sheep, they don't look any further than the sheep next to them and do as they do, they never raise their head above the flock to see exactly where the lead sheep (wolf) is leading them. 

Jesus couldn't have used a better animal to illustrate His church.  Sheep have to travel in flocks to survive and the wolf is the sheep’s number one enemy. So when a wolf has gained entry into a flock of sheep, his number one goal is to satisfy his appetite. This has been going on for thousands of years in the wild and the only way to protect a flock of sheep is to eliminate the wolf.

Julie Anne asks:  So, how does that sheep finally see the wolf for who he is?  What is your opinion of this - do you think it is because someone from the outside told him? Or did he discover it on his own?

Very seldom does someone on the inside listen to someone from the outside. I think it's really the Holy Spirit that exposes the truth and sometimes it takes years for someone to take action. I know by my own experience I have straight up told others that things being done at the church were in violation of the law and not one person acted even the least bit concerned but only commented that if anything illegal is going on, whoever was responsible would one day have to answer to God. 

People don't want to know the truth if it affects their routine or their comfort zone.  Again, just like a flock of sheep, as long as the grass is green, they keep their heads down and follow the other sheep or what looks likes another sheep. The flock gets so big that if one or two or three or even more turn up missing, they are not even noticed. Other stray sheep quickly fill the empty spots to supply the appetite of the wolf that walks freely among the flock dressed in his sheep clothing.  

From the same Google search you can see the natural behavior of a wolf.  Again you can see why this animal was used by Jesus to illustrate its relationship to the sheep and the church.  Do you have any wolves in your life?

Wolves are highly territorial animals and generally establish territories far larger than they require to survive in order to assure a steady supply of prey.  Territory size depends largely on the amount of prey available. . . 

and

The stalk: The wolves attempt to conceal themselves as they approach their prey. As the gap between the wolves and their prey closes, the wolves quicken their pace, wag their tails, and peer intently, getting as close to their quarry as possible without making it flee.  Source

I think we all know what comes next, but for most it's too gruesome to describe: 

There is one final Google search to conclude the sheep and wolf discussion:   the position and duty of the shepherd.  

The duty of shepherds was to keep their flock intact and protect it from wolves and other predators.  Source

As you can see the shepherd is not one of the sheep, but someone that keeps the flock in intact and protects the flock from the wolf and other predators. This would have to be someone who is of higher intelligence than the sheep and also one who would be able to spot and expose any threat to the sheep. 

In today’s churches the Pastor tries to take this role and may place themselves above the sheep (congregation). The problem with this is that in reality he himself is only a sheep (or a wolf in sheep clothing). There is no possible way that he can know all the sheep and thus there is no way he can keep the flock intact. There is only one true Shepherd who can know all the sheep and keep the flock intact, and that is Jesus. 

This is why today's churches are turning into toxic and abusive sheep farms. The flock has moved away from the protection and guidance of the true Shepherd and are following other sheep that might or might not be leading the flock in the right direction. So you need to stop and look at who you are following and if he looks like a sheep, smells like a sheep and acts like a sheep, he is probably a sheep or he could be a wolf in sheep clothing. Say something to make him smile, if you see fangs, thats a dead giveaway. Otherwise, check to make sure where he is leading you lines up with the words spoken by the real true Shepherd, Jesus.   And if it doesn't, run as fast as your little hooves will carry you and find a flock that is following the Great Shepherd.  Otherwise, you take a chance of becoming lamb chops for the wolf you are following. 

JA note:  Raymond added one more late addition here:

Having grown up on a farm, I know what it's like and what is required to herd animals.  I find it quite amazing that the example we are familiar with in scripture consisted of 100 sheep.  Having herded cattle, I know that it is a handful for one man to control 100 cows.  So I would expect 100 sheep is most likely all that a shepherd can manage alone.   

In modern sheep farming, the only way the shepherd can manage a flock of 200, 300, or 1,000 sheep is with the help of well-trained and devoted dogs - dogs that use fear to move the flock in the direction the shepherd desires, but dogs which are 100% devoted to every command of the shepherd who owns them.  They don't ask any questions, but respond to every order given them -  even when he is leading the sheep to slaughter.  This way, the single shepherd has complete control over all his flocks and his dogs.  It's kind of weird, but plenty of today's churches are operated like modern sheep farms, right down to the trained dogs.  

Julie Anne's notes:  Of course there are no perfect analogies, but in this brief look at the behavior of sheep and wolves, we can easily understand why these animals were used in scripture to help us understand abuse in the church.  Sheep mixing with wolves is not a pretty scenario.  It's clear why we need to learn to behave smarter than dumb sheep, to look to the good Shepherd to guide us and keep us safe from the wolves who want to devour our souls.  



Quick note to Raymond:  Thank you for giving me permission to compile your words into this post.  We will never know how many people were touched by your words.  I appreciate you sharing from your heart.  







photo credit: Tambako the Jaguar via photopin cc photo credit: manitou2121 via photopin cc

Pastor Edwin Young, Faith Tabernacle, Jordan Young Information

A few weeks ago, I took a detour on the blog and posted a few articles on the Faith Tabernacle fiasco in Junction City, Kansas.   I continue to get a lot of search hits from people looking for:   Faith Tabernacle, Edwin Young, Jordan Young, Oneness Pentecostal, UPC, etc.  The articles highlighted sexual abuse, the poor treatment of women, spiritual abuse, legalism:

Buh-Bye Pastor Edwin Young 

How Did Pastor Edwin Young Treat Women? 

Jordan Young Arrested Yet Again and Faith Tabernacle

Because of the continued traffic to my site searching for information,  I would like to highly recommend these two sites:

The fairly new blog,  Through Grace Alone, is written by a former member who recounts her experiences and thoughts.  This is an excellent blog.  If you have been churches like Faith Tabernacle, UPC, Oneness Pentacostal, Apostolic background, you will very likely connect with so much of what she has to share.  In fact, anyone who has suffered spiritual abuse will certainly find similar connections with the spiritual abuse journey.  The spiritual abuse journey is very similar, regardless of the church/cult background.  She has a great heart and searches for the truth.  I appreciate what she is doing:

The blog is not for gossip. What happened recently with my former pastor’s resignation has deeply affected me, even though I’m not there. Unfortunately, I was shunned when I left. There is no one I can call for facts, no way to know exactly what is happening. Yet I was there for long enough that I still picture what might be happening and how people may react. I still feel the pain of their discovery. However, from the outside looking in, I also feel the release from the labels that were placed on me. It’s an odd situation to find myself in.

This blog is not written to debate. It doesn’t represent an attempt to turn people away from what they believe, but to offer those who feel they must leave some hope. Leaving a church or an organization doesn’t have to mean leaving God. The heavens are God’s throne and the earth is His footstool. He’s much bigger than a building or organization. If you leave a building, fellowship, or organization, remember He promised never to leave or forsake you. No matter what.

Another excellent resource with quite a lot of documentation, videos, first-hand accounts is spiritualabuse.org

Lois has been compiling information over the years on these particular groups.  I highly recommend visiting this site.   The focus is on spiritual abuse, with a secondary focus on United Pentecostal Church.  This site has the most comprehensive information on UPC I have ever seen.    Please check it out.  I pray that God will use these sites as you search and seek the truth.  

~Julie Anne





photo credit: Thomas Hawk via photopin cc